Another Rave Review — And a Contest Update!!!

Me at BookExpo America 2014

Me at BookExpo America, May 29, 2014

Nobody tells you this about your book’s release, but much like growing up gay, it gets better.

Much.

Sure, it was fun when that box of books arrived in the mail and when people started sending me selfies*, but now that the book has been out for 3 weeks, the good times have really begun.

Promoting a book is awesome!

It helps that my publisher has been setting up some great events for me. Earlier this week, I got to go to SiriusXM headquarters and chat with Larry Flick of OutQ. (I’ll post the audio here soon.) Then, yesterday, I attended Book Expo America as an author. I sat at a table in the same (giant convention) room as bajillions of big-name celebrities like Anjelica Huston, Neil Patrick Harris and my buddy Tim Carvell. (I even scored an advance copy of Tim’s upcoming book, Return to Planet Tad.)

I signed copies of “Mommy Man” for conventioneers and met some really wonderful and enthusiastic people. And I felt like a big shot, which was the best part.

The other thing I wasn’t expecting to enjoy so much about having a book in print? The reviews. You know how when you’re writing something, you’re constantly imagining the reviews you’ll someday get? (What? Just me?) And they’re all crazy, over-the-top glowing? (Again, maybe that’s just me.) Well, the actual reviews I’ve read are almost as good as anything my bloated ego could conjure up. I expected raves from my friends and family, but people I don’t even know have been saying the nicest things.

If you want a good sense of what “Mommy Man” is about and why you’ll enjoy it, read this review which was just posted at the Good Men Project. Tom Burns, a straight dad and a fellow dad blogger (Did I mention my book makes a great Father’s Day gift?) said a lot of nice things, but I want to highlight this part:

“Mommy Man is a spectacularly well-told story. More than once, Jerry’s handling of his both hilarious and occasionally sobering subject matter reminded me of the deft storytelling chops that you can find in comedic one-man shows like Mike Birbiglia’s My Girlfriend’s Boyfriend or Sleepwalk with Me. It’s just an epic birth story, the kind that, if encountered at a dinner party, would make you cancel your plans for later and open another bottle of wine. Even if you know nothing about surrogacy, being a mild-mannered geek, or being a gay superdad, Mommy Man is a book that anyone can enjoy. It’s well worth your time.” – Tom Burns, Good Men Project

If that doesn’t convince you to read my book, I don’t know what will. (That doesn’t mean I’m not going to keep trying, though.)

Given what a blast this has all been so far, I’m really looking forward to my upcoming in-store events, so if you’re anywhere near Los Angeles, New York or Rochester, I hope you’ll come to one.

* I haven’t been great about promoting my selfie contest, so I’m going to extend the deadline a week, until Friday, June 6 at 9pm EST. You have until then to buy my book, snap a selfie (technically, it can also be a picture someone else takes of you) and upload it to my Facebook page with yourself tagged in it. By doing so, you grant me the right to repost it, but I’ll probably only do that 0-1 times. Whoever posts the best, most creative selfie will win a copy of Mommy Man autographed by me and creatively decorated by my kids somehow.

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Need just a tiny bit more convincing that “Mommy Man” is the “uproarious”, “touching”, “fascinating” read the reviews are saying it is? You’re in luck! Download the sample chapter from your favorite ebook retailer (i.e., Amazon Kindle or iBooks) and see if it doesn’t leave you hungry for more. Or crack a copy open in Barnes & Noble or your other favorite bookstore, open to a random page and see how long it takes you to find something funny. Trust me, this works much better with my book than it does with “I Am Malala.”

A Big Bunch of Pink Princessy Stuff

  • Wiimote-picProbably the highlight of my week was this wonderful review of my book by superblogger/supermom Mombian over at Bay Windows. She says, among other nice things, “Jerry Mahoney’s Mommy Man: How I Went from Mild-Mannered Geek to Gay Superdad, is a wonderful addition to the growing genre of LGBT parenting memoirs, not only because of its sharp writing and smart humor, but because it shows us an aspect of LGBT parenting we haven’t seen in a book-length memoir before—two men pursuing parenthood through gestational surrogacy.” and The blend of engagingly told common experiences with the particulars of this family make Mommy Man a compelling read for parents and prospective parents of all types (and a great Father’s Day present).”
  • Speaking of Father’s Day presents… at this moment, my book is a mere $8.69 on Kindle! If that’s your preferred platform and you’ve been waiting for a good time to buy it, wait no more!
  • Here’s a great post from A Little Bit Brave about how my blog (!) on Disney World led to an uncomfortable interaction with a family friend, and her wonderful response.
  • My piece How to Talk to Your Kids About Gay People, By a Gay Person was reblogged a bunch of places, including the Good Men Project, the Daily Dot and xoJane. That last one especially really impressed Drew.
  • Are you going to be at Book Expo America this week? I’ll be at Booth 1124 on Thursday, May 29 from 10:00-10:30 signing books and snapping selfies. Come say hi!
  • Best laugh of the week: this video, “If Gay Guys Said the Shit Straight People Say…”
  • Thanks again for the birthday wishes last week. The picture above shows one of my favorite gifts, a pink-colored Princess Peach remote for Wii. I’ll let you guess which one of my kids picked that out for me. I’m just grateful she let me hold it for this picture, because she sure doesn’t let me hold it when we’re playing Wii.

A Blog-to-Book Adventure: Mommy Man’s Jerry Mahoney

Jerry Mahoney:

Thanks to Cheri Lucas Rowlands for conducting this interview for WordPress, and welcome to anyone who discovered this blog through her post on WordPress.com News. I hope you’ll stick around to read some of my other posts, and make sure you check out the reviews of my book, too!

Originally posted on WordPress.com News:

Jerry Mahoney and his partner, Drew Tappon, wanted a family. After searching, they ultimately found an egg donor in Susie — Drew’s little sister. With Susie as their donor, Jerry and Drew were able to pursue their dreams of fatherhood — and have a life they never thought they could have.

We chatted with Jerry about his blog, Mommy Man, his new book of the same name, and blogging on our platform.

How did your blog, Mommy Man, come about?

mommy man header

I’d written a Modern Love column for the New York Times about my family. I got a lot of attention for it, and it convinced me to turn the entire experience of how my partner and I became dads into a book. I found an agent and wrote a book proposal, but it didn’t sell. Despite the exposure from the New York Times, I was still relatively…

View original 862 more words

A Big Bunch of Stuff for My Birthday

suttonbenchIt’s been a busy couple of weeks, so I wanted to make sure a few things didn’t get lost in the shuffle:

  • My eBook is now available! Kindle, iBooks, Nook, you name it. If you play Candy Crush on a device, you can also read “Mommy Man” on it. See if you can get 3 stars on Chapter 1!
  • The amazing Amy Wruble of Carriage Before Marriage conducted a really fun interview with me at Lifetime Moms. Check it out here and read what one of my proudest moments with my kids was.
  • I wrote a piece for Scary Mommy last week called “The B-Plus Parent: 5 Perfectly Acceptable Reasons to Shout at Your Kids“. It got over 22,000 shares (that’s not a typo — twenty-two THOUSAND!), and if you haven’t checked it out yet, I think it’s a fun read.
  • Another belated link, but this post from my friend Brent at Designer Daddy about gay dads and Mother’s Day is worth reading, even if you have 51 weeks before the next Mother’s Day.
  • This blog got a very nice review and a spot on the blogroll of NY Metro Parents.
  • Through A Glass, Darkly raved about my book: “I really did laugh and cry while I was reading it. I read this on Mother’s Day and it was a perfect reminder of the miracle of life.”
  • You may have noticed on the sidebar, but my DC event on May 23rd has been postponed until later notice. It should be rescheduled for later in the summer, and I’ll be posting here when I know the new date.
  • Apropos of nothing, that picture above is one of my current faves. I did not ask Sutton to pose for that picture, and I certainly did not tell her to wink at the camera. She just jumped up on that bench, struck the pose and asked me to snap it. So I did.
  • It’s my birthday! Yes, today! The best present you can give me would be to buy my book for yourself or someone you know who is as cool as you. And if you’ve already read it, maybe you could write me a nice review online somewhere. Aw, shucks, you shouldn’t have!

5 Types of Parents It’s OK to Judge

If you’re one of those people with no kids of your own who’s constantly judging everyone’s parenting skills, then please stop.  Trust me, all the other parents and I had a meeting, we put it to a vote, and it was unanimous: we hate you.  You don’t know what you’re talking about, you’re rude and you should keep your stupid opinions to yourself.

On the other hand, if you are a parent, then judging other parents can be one of the most fun and satisfying ways to spend your time, so have at it!  It’s open season for you!

OK, that might still get you in some trouble with the people you’re judging, so I can understand if you want to be careful. But I can’t imagine any of the lamest moms and dads would do something so informative as to read a parenting blog, so just between us, I’m going to let them have it.

Here are 5 types of parents who, in my opinion, it’s perfectly OK for you to judge…

1. The “What’s Bedtime?” and “What’s a Sitter?” Parents.

saw 6_edited-1Look, I’m sure you really needed the six pack of Corona Light, but was it really worth dragging your toddler out to Stop & Shop at 10pm?  Some of us call that “bedtime”.  We look forward to it as a relaxing break at the end of our hectic day, and what’s more, the kids need it.  It’s win-win.

At least Stop & Shop is an age-appropriate activity for young children.  We’ve all seen those morons who were so psyched for “World War Z” that they dragged their 2-year-old out to the midnight showing at Mann’s Chinese rather than wait the two months it’d take for that movie to be on DVD.  How are they selling these people tickets instead of calling child protective services on them?

It’s insane that some places have laws against gay parents adopting or fostering kids when there are clowns like this raising children.  Look, not every gay couple is Ozzy and Harriet, but if you want to root out the truly unfit parents, I suggest starting at the multiplexes.

2. Parents Who Helicopter Other People’s Children. 

booboo_edited-1Say what you will about helicopter parents. At least the only kids they’re messing up are their own… that is, except for this subset of helicopter parents who are determined to overparent everyone’s kids.

When my kids fall down at the playground, I don’t usually make a big deal about it, and because of that, they don’t make a big deal about it either. They get up, limp for a second or two and then run around like maniacs again… unless some other grownup runs over and screams, “OH MY GOD! ARE YOU OKAY?”

Odds are, my kid was fine until the crazy lady ran up and started screaming hysterically in his face. Now he’s not crying because he’s hurt. It’s because you freaked him the eff out. If not for you, he’d be back swinging upside-down from the jungle gym by now.

Oh, and while you’re at it, spare me your evil eye. When my kid really does get hurt, I will swoop in faster than you could imagine and do all the things that need to be done. I just want him to know that there are some ouchies he’s perfectly capable of handling on his own.

By the way, this is a park. I’m not sure what that green spongy material under our feet is, but I suspect it’s at least 70% marshmallow. No one’s going to get beheaded here. Relax.

3. The Only-Engage-With-The-Kids Parents.

gamelastnight_edited-1These ones are just weird. I take my kids to the same places over and over, and we see a lot of the same people.  Some of them are friendly, some of them are not, and a lot of them fall in this weird middle ground where they’re very friendly… but only to the kids.  They talk to them, hand them toys, introduce them to their kids, but even when I’m standing right there, they won’t address me directly or look me in the eye.

Instead, they’ll direct all their questions to my children.  “Does your Daddy mind if you play with that?”  “What a pretty shirt your Daddy dressed you in!”  I imagine they’re just socially intimidated by other adults, but it’s hard not to feel like Bruce Willis in the Sixth Sense.  Her Daddy is standing right here! Talk to him, please! He’s starved for adult conversation!

Seriously, if there are other people out there who can’t see me, please let me know, because I’m starting to worry that I’ve crossed over to another plane of existence or something.

4. The Insufficiently Apologetic.

hairpull_edited-1One day at the kiddie gym, a little boy smacked my daughter in the face because she was on the trampoline he wanted to use.  His mother was appropriately horrified, but she didn’t say a word to me or Sutton.  No “Sorry”, no “Please don’t sue”, no “Bobby, give that girl a hug.”  She just grabbed the kid and ran away to lecture him.

I’d lump into this category any parent who offers their own apology for the kid’s behavior but doesn’t make their kid apologize himself — and worse, doesn’t do anything to reprimand him. One day at a playground, a perfectly polite nanny assured me that her kid didn’t normally pin kids to the ground and pull their hair until they screamed, the way he had just done to Sutton.  She even gave him an ultimatum: apologize or they were going home.  He didn’t apologize, but half an hour later, they were still there, and he was pulling some other kid’s hair.

I thought we were all in the same boat, trying to teach our kids to own up to their actions and say they’re sorry when they screw up. But now the next time my kid misbehaves, she’s going to whine, “But that kid at the park didn’t apologize!” And suddenly my teachable moment turns into me teaching her that some people are just assholes.

5. The Overly Apologetic.

misbehave_edited-1Look, everyone’s kid throws a fit in public sometimes.  It sucks.  But you don’t need to run around telling everyone how sorry you are and swearing, “He never does this!”  Try to forget about all the annoyed jerks glaring at you and focus on your kid instead.  Calm him down, get him out, do whatever your parenting instinct tells you the situation demands.  Trust me, no one’s going to hand you a report card on the way out, with an “F” in tantrums. Well, I’m not, at least. I’ll be one of the parents passing you glares of sympathy and encouragement. In almost any case of tantrummy kid vs. beleaguered parent, I take the parent’s side, because I’ve been there myself many times.

Sometimes the best way to handle an outburst is to ignore the behavior, and that can be tough.  I know I look like a horrible parent because my kid’s screaming their head off in a shopping cart and I’m trying to decide which brownie mix to buy.  But you know what?  I’m not going to give into him just to calm him down, and it’s not that I think this is acceptable behavior.  I’m just halfway through my shopping, and I’m really in the mood for brownies, so we’re riding this one out together, everybody.  You don’t like it?  Kindly move to Aisle 6.  Thanks.

Besides, don’t be so self-centered.  You think everyone’s judging you?  Pfft, who would do that?

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Do you like reading things like this post? Good news! I’ve written a whole book about my journey to parenthood, called “Mommy Man: How I Went From Mild-Mannered Geek to Gay Superdad” and it’s NOW AVAILABLE! Publisher’s Weekly called it “uproarious” and “touching”, and other people like it, too! You can buy the hardcover or the eBook now on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, IndieBound, iBooks or any of these other choices. Check out what people are saying on GoodReads, too.

Still not convinced? Just leave me a comment below. Tell me a little about yourself, and I’ll give you a personalized reason why you’d love my book! That’s right, it’ll be personalized just for you, Vanessa! (For the rest of you, too. I just really wanted to freak out anyone named Vanessa.)

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Like this post but have an acute case of bibliophobia (fear of books)? Share the post using the buttons below! That’s cool, too!

How to Talk to Your Kids About Gay People, By a Gay Person

English: Train Board at Grand Central Terminal

Image via Wikipedia

[Note: I originally published this piece here as How to Talk to Your Children About Gay Parents, By a Gay Parent. The post took on a life of its own and was read and shared by lots of people whose kids might be exposed to homosexuality any number of places, and not just through kids with gay parents. So I figured it was time to freshen the piece up a bit and broaden the scope.]

It could happen anywhere, at any time. A train station. A Disney Channel show. The NFL draft.

Your kids are just hanging out, being kids and daydreaming about candy, when suddenly they see…

TWO DUDES KISSING!

michaelsamkiss

Or maybe they spot a little girl in the dropoff line at school. She kisses her mom goodbye, and then… she kisses her other mom goodbye!

You feel a tug on your leg, you look down, and there’s your kid. He just saw the same thing you saw, and now he looks up at you with his innocent face and says, “Yo, what’s the deal with that?”

As a gay man, I know I’ve spurred conversations like this myself, by doing just what Michael Sam and his boyfriend did on live TV. I want to be clear first of all that I don’t kiss my husband in public because I want to confuse your child or piss off right-wingers, although I’m aware that both of those things might happen as a result. I’m kissing him because I love him and I’m probably saying hello or goodbye at the time. (I assure you. It will never be because I’ve just been drafted by a professional sports team.) When I kiss my husband, I’m not going to look around first to make sure your kid and/or Pat Robertson isn’t watching. I’m just going to kiss him and then go on with the rest of my day.

I understand you might be unprepared for what follows. So here and now, I’m going to do what I feel is only fair for someone in my position to do. I’m going to prepare you.

Naturally, these tips are intended for the sympathetic straight parent. Unsympathetic straight parents are free to ignore my suggestions, in which case, I’ll enjoy watching them squirm.

Obviously, what you say will depend on how old your kids are and how much exposure they’ve had to gay people previously, but in a broader sense, these suggestions should apply to anyone.

I’m not a child psychologist, just a gay dad who’s thought a lot about the issue and who has a big stake in it.  After all, I don’t want your kids coming up to my kids one day and telling them they’re weird for not having a mommy.

If you don’t want that either, here are a few things to keep in mind:

1. Use the word “gay”.

Everyone’s concentrating on taking the negative connotation away from the word “gay”, but at the same time, let’s not forget to encourage the positive.  We don’t want “gay” to be a curse, so go ahead and teach it to your kids.  That’s how we’ll really take the sting out of the word.

“Oh, Uncle Doug and Uncle Max?  They’re gay.”  “Aunt Vera and Aunt Debbie aren’t sisters, honey.  They’re lesbians.”  “Well, statistics suggest at least 3 of the Smurfs must be gay.”  Don’t make a big deal about it.  Just say it.  If your kids hear some jerk at school sneering, “That’s so gay!”, their response will be, “Yeah?  So what?  So are Uncle Max, Aunt Vera and, most likely, Brainy.”

2. You don’t have to pretend half the world is gay. 

Don’t play down the fact that your kids may have witnessed something unfamiliar.  “Geez, Madison.  They have two daddies, what’s the biggie?”  It’s natural for poor little Madison to be confused, so give her a damn break.

Kids are probably going to assume all families have one mommy and one daddy, because that’s all most of them see.  You can be honest. Use words like “most” and “some”.  “Most families have a mommy and a daddy… but some have two mommies or two daddies.”  “Most women marry men, but some women marry other women.” As long as you don’t attach a value judgment to those statements, it really is no biggie. (The same goes when explaining single parent families, divorced families or anything else your child might be witnessing for the first time.)

Some kids might say something like, “That’s weird”, or they’ll think you’re playing a joke on them.  That should just be a reminder of why you’re having this conversation.  Get to your kid before ignorance does.  If you’re honest with them, they’ll get it.

3. Get your mind out of the gutter.

It seems silly that I even have to say this, but when some people think about homosexuality and kids, they imagine that you’re suggesting they graphically describe intercourse to kindergarteners.  Um, no.  All you should be doing is answering the questions they’re asking, and save the rest for junior high health class.  If they wonder why they saw two football players kissing, it’s because “Those two men are in love”… or because “Some men love other men.”  Hopefully, you’ve taught your kids to understand what love is, so no further explanation should be required.

And do use the word “love”.  That’s what we’re talking about here.  You don’t need to say “attracted to” or “some boys like boys”.  “Like” is how they feel about each other.  A kid might think, “Well, I like boys.  I guess I’m gay.”  Compare it to your own relationship (assuming you have a good relationship).  “You know the way Mommy and I love each other?  That’s how those two men or those two women feel about each other.”  And if your kid says, “Yuck!” it’s probably because they feel the same way about when you and your spouse get all schmoopy-doopy with each other.  That’s progress.

4. Don’t make it about your kid — yet.

Understanding homosexuality is a big enough topic of discussion, and your kid probably won’t be prompted to wonder about their own sexuality at this point.  You don’t need to say, “You might marry a man someday yourself, Junior!”  While it’s great to plant the seeds of acceptance early, you’ll probably just end up confusing them more.  Your kids have plenty of time to figure their own feelings out, and when the time comes, make sure you let them know that you love them no matter what.  But no, they can’t marry Brainy Smurf.

5. If your kid does ask you to speculate, you can tell them they’ll “probably” be straight.

Again, only if your kid expresses some curiosity should you even broach the subject.  But if they’re wondering, “Who will I marry someday?”, feel free to tell them, “You’ll probably marry someone of the opposite sex, but I’ll accept you either way.”  Of course, if you’re like the mom from the amazing blog Raising My Rainbow, your “probably” might lean the other way.  Just take your cues from your kid.

6. Remember the magic phrase, “Love is what makes a family.” 

Even kids who don’t know exactly where babies come from understand that women are the ones who get pregnant and give birth.  When that’s all you know, then the idea of two men being in love and even forming a family together just might not add up.

Again, don’t go into any more detail than you need to.  Remind your kid that while it’s a woman who gives birth to a baby, your Mommy(-ies) and/or Daddy(-ies) are the one(s) who raise you. It’s no different than how you’d explain adoption by a straight couple.  “The Strattons flew to Beijing and brought little Daisy home.  Now they’re her Mommy and Daddy.”

What kids want to know is that the little boy or girl they see whose family looks different is still being well taken care of. Assure your children that the kids are in good hands, because love is what makes a family, and those parents love their kids as much as you love yours.

7. Most importantly, just talk to your kids.

Your kids are bound to see a gay couple sooner or later, even if it’s just Mitchell & Cameron on Modern Family.  So if they come to you with questions, it’s really important that you don’t get weird about it.  Don’t change the subject, don’t tell them they’re too young to understand and definitely don’t lie and say that those two ladies were only kissing to be silly or because they were rehearsing a play.  Otherwise the message you’re sending is that there’s a reason to be uncomfortable around gay people.  The same goes for all kinds of people, really – just explain that some people look or feel a bit different from most people we meet, and isn’t it nice that everyone’s a little different.

… which leads me to a big secret.

You see, there is a gay agenda.  It’s true.

What most people don’t realize is that the gay agenda isn’t “everybody should be gay”.  It’s “everybody should be themselves.”

Be a nerd, be a Yanni fan, be a real housewife of your particular geographic region.  Whatever.  It’s all part of the same cause, and it’s a great message to teach your kids.

I shouldn’t have to say this in the 21st Century, but for anyone who’s still wondering, NO, I don’t want to make your kids gay.  I just want to live my life with a sense of mutual respect for everyone else on this planet.  If you want the same thing, then let your kids learn by your example.  Show them that gay people and nontraditional families are nothing to be afraid of.

Teaching your kids to be accepting of gay people and gay families is a great way to teach them acceptance in a broader sense – and to teach them the ultimate lesson: to be accepting of themselves.

I know some people think differently, but that’s what I call family values.

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If you know anyone who you think would appreciate this post, please share it using the buttons below. I’ve come back and revised this post a couple of times now, so if you have any non-homophobic notes or suggestions, feel free to leave a comment. If you have homophobic notes or suggestions, on the other hand, you might want to read my comment policy first.

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Looking for a fun read? My book “Mommy Man: How I Went From Mild-Mannered Geek to Gay Superdad” is NOW AVAILABLE in hardcover and digital formats at all your favorite online and real world retailers. Get more details here.

The “Mommy Man” eBook is now available!

MommyManEbook

Big news! Sometime over the weekend, the eBook version of my book “Mommy Man: How I Went From Mild-Mannered Geek to Gay Superdad” magically began appearing on eBook services like Kindle and iBooks. Want to make crazy laughing faces like that goon in the picture above? Download it now! Is it on your favorite service yet? Now’s a great time to check! It’ll be on all of them soon!

I also want to thank everyone who participated in my Chart Twerk 2. It was a big success, with the book again reaching #1 in 3 different Amazon categories, including all of Gay & Lesbian nonfiction. It bested that heavily hyped “Forcing the Spring” book about the gay marriage movement, and it smacked down a bunch of creepy anti-gay screeds, too. As a result, it was featured under “Hot New Releases,” which ensured that people who’ve never heard of me or my blog learned about the book.

It even cracked the top 1,000 overall. That’s pretty impressive considering that I didn’t focus just on Amazon this time. I know people bought the book at Barnes & Noble and other local bookstores, too, and I’m grateful to everyone who took part.

Now you people who prefer to read digitally can get your screen-swiping fingers on my book, too… for under $10 from some vendors! There will be no twerking this time, so don’t delay. Buy it now! (And if you want to check it out first, download the free sample chapters. I’m sure you’ll be back for more!)

To those of you who already bought your copy, thank you again for making this launch so incredible. I’ve heard from many people who’ve already finished the book, and if that’s you, I could use your help spreading the word.

If you have a “Mommy Man” rave bubbling up inside you, share it! Tell your Facebook and Twitter friends. Write a review on Amazon, Barnes & Noble and/or GoodReads. I already have seven 5-star reviews on Amazon, but the more opinions there are, the more people will take notice.

And if you can make it to one of my upcoming author events, I’d love to see you there.

Happy Mommy Man Day!

pubdaycupcakes2Publication Day cupcakes are totally a thing, right?

Baking isn’t the only way I’m celebrating today. I have a new post up at Scary Mommy! It’s called “The B-Plus Parent: 5 Perfectly Acceptable Reasons to Shout at Your Kids”, because frankly, I got tired of all the shout-shaming out there. Sometimes, it happens. Big whoop. (Though I promise I don’t look as scary when I shout as the guy in the picture.)

Want more? Read Inside the Author’s Studio With Jerry Mahoney. This is a feature my agent, Laurie Abkemeier, runs on her website, and I’ve been reading it and admiring her other authors for ages now. I feel so honored it’s finally my turn to get the Author’s Studio treatment. At the risk of having Laurie get flooded with queries, I should mention that she’s the smartest, coolest, hardest-working agent in the business and I owe this all to her.

That’s it. Twerk at noon! Share, tweet, Facebook, review, you know the drill. I’ve heard from so many people already who plan to participate. This is going to be big!

And thanks. Cupcakes at my place!

Mommy Man Day!

releasedayIt was January, 2013 when my agent emailed to tell me we had an offer on my manuscript. It was two and a half years earlier that I first started writing it, and I guess you could say 41 1/2 years before that when I first started living it.

And tomorrow, my book officially comes out.

I know this might not mean quite as much to anyone who’s not me (i.e., you), but I’m pretty excited… and nervous… and incredibly grateful.

For the last few years, I’ve been blogging here and asking you to subscribe, like me, follow me, reblog me, share my posts and comment, and I’ve been overwhelmed by how many of you have done just that. You helped me get jobs at Lifetime Moms and even a big-shot on-air job at HLN. You brought me to the attention of Mom superbloggers like Scary Mommy and Baby Sideburns, who reposted me and brought me even more followers and who were then kind enough to blurb my book. You helped me get featured on “The Today Show” and on “Huffington Post Live”. You helped me get named one of Babble’s Top 10 Humor Blogs for 2013. I’ve made friends through this site, both on Facebook and in real life.

Most importantly, you helped me sell my book.

Honestly, it wouldn’t have happened without all of your support. And I’m not just saying that. Publishers want someone with an online platform and lots of followers who will help them spread the word about their book, and that’s you. Confession time: That’s mostly why I started this blog, to impress publishers, but (cue sappy music) it’s become much more to me along the way than just a promotional tool.

I’ve appreciated all your thoughtful and hilarious responses to things I’ve written. I’ve loved hearing from other non-traditional families, from young LGBTQ people who found some hope here that they might have their own family someday, from fellow dads and moms who’ve related to something I’ve been through with my kids and from people who just got a good laugh out of something I wrote. You encouraged me as a writer and as a dad, and you helped me find my voice.

There’s a reason I start my book off talking about what it was like being in the closet as a teenager — because that kid I was then would’ve been blown away by reading all the later chapters in the book, by getting a glimpse of all the joy I was yet to experience in life not in spite of the fact that I was different, but because of it.

You know what else would’ve made that kid happy? Seeing photos of complete strangers holding up copies of my book and telling me how excited they were to read it.

“It gets better” doesn’t begin to cover it.

Now, I’m asking for your support one more time. Tomorrow is my book’s official publication day, and I want to make a big splash. The last time we did this, the book went to #1 in its category, and #260 overall! It made Amazon’s Movers and Shakers chart and gained tons of attention. Since then, I’ve gained thousands of new followers, and I know I can do even better.

Here’s what I ask: I’ve been over all the reasons you should buy Mommy Man.” If you have any intention of doing so, don’t put it off indefinitely. PLEASE buy your copy tomorrow, Thursday, May 8 at 12pm EST (or as close to that time as you can). The more people who do so, the bigger the impact the book will make, and the bigger the impact, the more potential the book will have from there.

If you’ve already bought “Mommy Man,” thank you. Hopefully, you laughed your ass off and cried your eyes out in all the right spots, and if so, I’d love your help, too. Write a review on Amazon, Barnes & NobleGoodReads or [insert your favorite site here]. Tell your friends about it on Facebook, Twitter and [insert your favorite social network here]. Share this post, or share one of my old posts that you really liked. Upload a selfie of you holding the book to my Facebook page. Do something else so hip and new that I don’t even know about it yet. Help me make this a super big deal.

I promise I won’t keep pestering you to do this. Tomorrow’s the big day. If you want to help me give my book a launch that will rattle the publishing industry and get it lots of atention, now’s the time.

Lastly, I want to thank everyone for putting up with all this self-promotion. As I said, this is what publishers are looking for. They want to see that you can mobilize your readers when the time comes. And the time has come.

I promise I’ll be back with a regular post next week.

Until then, help me celebrate Mommy Man Day.

Thanks.