Ballpit2

About

For the best and most complete version of my “About” page, you should read this.

After that, the best introduction to me, and probably to my writing as well, can be found in a Modern Love column I wrote for the New York Times.

Please note, contrary to the NYT artist’s rendering, I have never worn a three-person plaid poncho with anyone.

Or you could also watch this Today Show piece about my family that aired in October 2012.

Or you can just read this little bio:

I live with my boyfriend/partner, Drew and our twins Bennett and Sutton, who were born in August 2009.  They were conceived via gestational surrogate, with eggs provided by Drew’s sister, Susie.  (Yes, I provided the sperm… which I add not because I enjoy talking about my sperm with complete strangers, but because some people will wonder… and what must those people think?)

If any of this is confusing or makes you uncomfortable, then please read my blog for further detail.  I promise that once you get to know us, our family makes perfect sense.

I’m currently a stay-home Dad raising my kids full-time, but while they’re sleeping, I write various other stuff, including my memoir, “Mommy Man: How I Went From Mild-Mannered Geek to Gay Superdad,” which is now available!

If you’re looking for somewhere to start reading, check that slider bar at the top of the home page. Those are some of my favorite posts.

Also, please follow me on Twitter and Facebook, and if you really want to, write to me.  I love hearing from people, and I’m happy to answer any questions you may have about surrogacy, IVF, gay dadness, twins or where to find pictures of gorillas or cats — still my #1 search hit!

Dad for 1 day

108 comments on “About

  1. Looking forward to reading into your life. I love sharing life experiences, whether I can identify with them or not. It makes me feel special to share my life with someone else and to hear the things they have dealt with!

  2. Love the blog. I’ve been searching for a while for something that I can read and relate to. I laughed out loud when you mentioned hiding your daughter’s eyes in the men’s room. (I finally gave up and took my daughters to the women’s restrooms. Never had any issues and got lots of smiles!) Can’t wait to read what’s next!

  3. I want to start by saying . . . if you’d rather not participate, I totally understand. I have declined in the past myself. It is kind of a pain in the arse. That said.
    I’m awarding you the Versatile Blogger Award because I like your blog and think others will too. As with everything in life, there are strings attached. 1) You are to give the award to 15 other bloggers you feel are deserving and notify them of the award. 2) Make a post thanking the person that gave you the award (moi’) and listing your 15 choices. Provide links to these 16 blogs in your post. 3) Lastly, in your post, list seven things the bloggy world doesn’t know about you.
    I dont know how to link the graphic for your blog. Maybe you can save it from mine? Or tell me how to link it haha
    Personally, I had trouble with it, so feel free to contact me if you need help.
    The bottom line . . . whether you participate or not . . . I think you have a rockin’ blog.

  4. Pingback: Welcome, Thank You and Please « Where Do Gaybies Come From?

  5. Pingback: Introducing… Mommy Man! | Where Do Gaybies Come From?

  6. Hello,

    My name is Conor Clary and I am the co-founder of http://www.RainbowChronicle.com, the only website which allows users to rate any person, business or event according to its gay friendliness.

    I am a fan of yours and know that you care deeply about the LGBT community so I thought I would reach out in an attempt to catch your attention.

    My co-founder and I created this site in response to the spate of gay suicides in the summer of 2010. Our site is dedicated to highlighting open and accepting businesses and individuals and calling out those that act out of bigotry. We display all of our user driven ratings on a map which gives at risk members of the LGBT community, established individuals and allies quite literally a road map for navigating homophobia and acceptance in their area.

    We launched about 2 months ago and are just trying to get the word out. We thought you might be interested in the site..

    Thank you so much,

    Conor

  7. Your blog is absolutely hilarious. I discovered it today and so far I have laughed, cried and followed you everywhere else on the internet because it’s nice to finally read something I can relate to. I’m twenty now, but I grew up with gay parents (lesbians, but there are some surprising similarities) and a lot of the adventures you have with your family take me back to when I was Sutton’s age! Keep up the brilliant work!

  8. I just stumbled upon your blog today while looking for other stay-at-home Dad blogs, to see what other Dad’s have learned in their time at home. I have to say, I love your writing style and the voice with which you write! I love telling stories, funny and otherwise about my 1-year old daughter on my blog, as well. Feel free to check it out, http://papabrownie.wordpress.com/. Keep up the great stories and I’ll be following your blog from now on!

      • Hey, Jerry. Thanks so much! I’m trying to get more posts up more often, even though I’m not currently a stay-at-home dad since I went back to work.

  9. Greetings! Just letting you know that I’ve nominated you for the Kreativ Blogger Award because I have enjoyed reading your blog and the entertainment it has provided.

    If you wish to accept you must follow a few simple rules, thank the blogger who has nominated you, tell your readers about you and pass on the honor to some of your favorite bloggers.

    The award won’t make you rich or famous, in fact it means nothing more than someone appreciates your writing, but it is the thought that counts.

    ObiWanCanubi
    http://notdadoftheyear.wordpress.com/2012/04/13/its-awards-night-or-i-just-got-rick-rolled-on-wordpress/

  10. Hi Gay Super Dad – We have a similar family with 2 year old triplets and a five your old. Love your blogg… You are our hero!

  11. Wow, this news article about the three or five I should say of you, is absolutely AMAAZing and sooo beautiful. I think I will use this article to demonstrate the power of love (yes, cheesy Celine Dion I know). Wow.. amazing.. a movie! Wow..

    Pink.

  12. This is so on target! My father wasn’t a stay at home father per se (both my parents worked my entire childhood)–but he was the one who picked up my sister and I after school (my mother was with us in the mornings and saw us off with the family we carpooled with). So he was the one driving us to ballet classes (he also learned how to make a ballet bun!) or horseback riding lessons or to play dates.

    We never got weird looks. But one day when he was dropping off the kids of the other family we carpooled with at their house, he got asked by a neighbor if he was the family’s chauffeur! It was rather hilarious.

  13. I just found your blog and I have to say I really like it so far. I use to be a stay at home of three kids that were all a year apart so I know how crazy it can be. I look forward to reading more of your blogs!

  14. I’m way too serious of a writer (and father), so I’m jealous of your light-hearted humor. However, LOL aside, you are expressing what many fathers feel—me included and the laughter and smiles are appreciated.

    My seriousness as a father seems to have driven my gay son away from me. I haven’t heard from him for years. He’s in his thirties now. After the divorce, his mother was more of an influence in his life than I was—she pushed self esteem big and I didn’t (I was more old school and the disciplinarian)—and after he turned 18 and graduated from high school, any relationship we had ended and I did see him weekends anymore during those years after the divorce. She also supported his dream of becoming an actor, while I tried to get him to have a back up plan too.

    I couldn’t be a stay at home dad since I was a public school teacher (at the time) and usually taught summers, I wasn’t free to spend as much time with him as I wanted. My work weeks were usually 60 to 100 hours a week. Even at home I was correcting papers, planning lessons and doing grades. Teaching English, journalism and literacy is a demanding job.

    When my son was barely a teen, he asked me if he was “gay” and we had a long conversation about it on our drive to school one day, which is another story—I pulled over to the side of the road and we talked. I told him I’d love him regardless of his sexual orientation (he may not remember that talk now). I never imagined that when he became a legal adult, he would drop me as a father. I paid child support for fifteen years, daily drove him to the school district where I taught for several years after he was tossed out of two schools near where his mother and stepfather lived (who according to my son’s words used a belt to discipline him), and offered to help him through college (he decided not to go college yet he was an honor’s student in gifted classes). Instead, he chased a Hollywood acting dream, which hasn’t materialized yet, and works as a waiter or bartender somewhere in the US—he seems to move often from city to city or state to state.

    The one time he came to see me on his own was after he graduated from high school, I was in the hospital after my appendix burst, and all he did was ask if I could help him make some connections in Hollywood so he could make it as an actor (was he afraid I might die and he’d miss a connection?). Although both my wife and I are successful authors (my success came later than her and she is still much more successful than I am) and most of my wife’s work has been optioned for film, we didn’t really have any of the contacts he must have imagined we had so I couldn’t help him. That was the last time I saw him in person, which was about a decade ago.

    I feel that your children will be lucky to have you as their stay at home father.
    Love them and do not be afraid to say no when that word is needed. No is not that bad of a word.

  15. Hey Jerry. I realize I only just started following your blog, but for what it’s worth, I’ve nominated you for the Lovely Blog Award. You can find details on my latest post if your interested. At the very least, you should know that I very much enjoy your blog and am looking forward to your next post. :)

  16. Pingback: Illuminating Blogger Award Nomination! « Finding Roots

  17. Best book title ever, I sincerely hope you stick with it. Just wanted to say that I genuinely love your blog. Since my blog (and many others I read) have a less pleasant subject matter, I enjoy having the opportunity to break up my experience here on WordPress with the smiles I get from reading yours and others like you.

    • Thanks. I’m really glad you like the book title. I’ve been wrestling with it a lot lately, need to make up my mind soon. And thanks for blogging your own way. I’m sure the less pleasant subject matter scares some potential readers away, but it’s good that you’re getting your truth out there.

  18. This is for Loyd Lofthouse. If you love your son, keep trying to find him. You might be supprised by how re reacts to you. I’ll bet he misses you too. Its never too late to try to love someone.

  19. Love your blog! Very well written! I’m excited to learn more about gaybies! Let me know when your book comes out! Do my exclamation marks make me look excessively hyper!

  20. Now that’s really such an important read! A lot of people are blogging these days (and that includes myself) and it’s kinda rare to find something interesting and educational as well. A story like yours is just something that you don’t easily forget… Cherish every moment with those babies! They grow up too fast! All the best! :-)

  21. Thank you for sharing your life’s observations!! It is a blessing to know that I am not alone on the wacky winding path of parenting!

  22. just came across your blog and am sitting at work trying not to laugh to loudly at the “5 things that P*** me off” story. Loving it. I am also a parent to 3.5 year old twins – ours were born in October 2009, so are just a little younger than your guys. Am still waiting for the promised land – that is, the land where its supposed to get easier as they get older! Looking forward to reading more

    • Someone wise with older twins once told me it gets easier… then it gets harder again… then easier… then harder. 3 years old is definitely a harder phase. My sympathies! :)

  23. I’ve just commented (at the very bottom of a zillion comments) on your Modern Family thinks my family is creepy post. My wife and I are TTC the same way you did…her brother is our donor. And I’m sure I don’t need to explain to you which one of us will be the gestational mother lol. I look forward to following your blog from now on.

  24. Found your blog today… I have gone around this and the NYT column. Enjoyed both. Beautifully full of love. Thanks!

  25. Wonderful and delighted by your real life blog. I love to hear about parenting, writing and other details of what I like to call a roller coaster of life. Thanks for sharing your precious love ones. Have a wonderful day, Allie.

  26. Just read your NYT article and love the story. I completely understand Susie’s decision and determination. When my older sister and her spouse were struggling with infertility I offered them my eggs and/or my uterus. I was single at the time, but in my prime dating years, and people couldn’t understand how I would even consider doing this. For me it wasn’t even a question. If she needed them, she’d have them. Fortunately they were able to manage a medical marvel on their own.

    I just hit the follow button – I’m looking forward to it!

  27. My parents would probably have my head if they knew I read this blog, but hey! Life is hard and then you die (or something to that effect) might as well fill my head with as many positions on as many issues as possible.

  28. I’ve been lost in this wonderful blog for the last hour, I can’t wait to come back but alas it’s away to bed for me. It doesn’t get any easier when they get older, up tomorrow to make my 3 gorgeous daughters their lunch for school and beat my husband out of the bed to drive them there. See you at 9am if not before… :-)

  29. Pingback: Tomorrow is Mommy Man Day! | Mommy Man

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