COUPON

My lousy boss had me redeem a coupon for him today.

Apparently, Haagen-Dazs ice cream is running a promotion where they’re “giving away” copies of the “Chicago” movie soundtrack CD. Now, I’m all about coupons. I use coupons all the time, especially at Ralph’s supermarket, which has double coupons everyday (a great value, and one which I appreciate).

But let me lay this all out for you, if I may. And keep in mind that my boss is a big-shot corporate attorney who pulls down mid-six-figs a year, and that I am a guy who answers his phones, gets him coffee and, as of today, redeems his coupons, for a salary that’s roughly mid-six-figs less than his. Also, I love ice cream and would come up with just about any excuse to purchase and consume it.

It’s not about the ice cream.

Here’s the procedure my boss went through to obtain the “Chicago” movie soundtrack CD:

1. He went to a supermarket of some sort.

2. At said supermarket, he purchased two boxes of Haagen-Dazs ice cream sorbet bars. (Estimated cost: $10.00)

3. At home, he consumed said boxes of Haagen-Dazs ice cream sorbet bars. (Estimated calories: 2240)

4. He cut the UPC symbols off the boxes of said Haagen-Dazs ice cream sorbet bars.

5. He composed a letter to the good people at Haagen-Dazs, which I have reprinted here:

March 7, 2003

Haagen-Dazs Rewards/Chicago Soundtrack CD

168 North Clinton

P.O. Box 618360

Chicago, Illinois 60661

Dear Haagen-Dazs:

Enclosed are two UPC’s from Haagen-Daz products, and a check for $7.50 made payable to Haagen-Dazs. Please send my Chicago soundtrack CD to the following address:

Lousy Boss

Lousy Boss’ Address

Phone: Lousy Boss’ Phone Number [Jerry’s note: Yes, he gave his PHONE NUMBER. Is he really expecting a call from the Haagen-Dazs people?]

Thank you very much.

Very truly yours,

Lousy Boss

6. He brought that letter into the office and gave it to me, asking me to print out an envelope so he could mail the letter.

7. He called his wife and forced her to come into the office with her checkbook so they could send out the $7.50 check TODAY (you don’t expect him to wait until he gets home tonight for the check, do you?). He then waited for her, and she came.

8. He sent the letter, check and UPC symbols in the envelope.

9. He now must wait 4-6 weeks to receive his CD.

TOTAL COST (including price of stamp): $17.87

My process to purchase the same CD:

1. I went to Best Buy.

2. I picked it off the shelf and paid for it.

TOTAL COST: $15.14