GOSSIP

I was very nervous about letting Drew read this blog. For a while, I didn’t even tell him it existed. But he found out, the stinker, and he bugged me about it until I finally caved and gave him the URL. And as soon as he had it, he did exactly what I expected.

He skimmed the archives for his name and read everything I’d written about him.

This was not only what I expected, but what I’d feared. I didn’t even remember all the things I’d written about Drew. I knew there wasn’t anything bad, but it’s like hearing somebody talking behind your back. Even if they’re not saying anything bad, you’re so afraid something bad is coming that you miss all the good stuff. And even the good stuff sounds bad if you haven’t heard it before, because it makes you wonder why they’d share it with someone else if they’ve never told you.

I knew I’d written some less-than-flattering stuff about Drew’s friends on this blog, as well as some completely unflattering stuff about Drew’s ex-boyfriend Gregg, but none of that seemed to bother Drew very much. The one thing he quoted back to me, with some disappointment in his voice, was the following observation from an entry about a party we’d gone to months earlier:

“Drew gossips a lot.” (Yes, I bolded it. I’m cruel.)

When I’ve hurt the feelings of someone I care about, I usually want to apologize as quickly and profusely as possible. The problem is that Drew does like to gossip. A lot.

A LOT.

A LOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This weekend, Drew and I went to his friend’s wedding in Santa Barbara. We met lots of Drew’s friends, including some people he hadn’t seen in a while. Here are some of the things Drew discussed with these friends:

– How skinny Jen was (“You could see the vertebrae in her back!”)

– How he couldn’t believe Zig and Brooke were dating. (He gave the relationship a couple months, at most.)

– How Brooke looks much older than she is. (At different times, he estimated the differential at either five or ten years.)

– How he once told Zig about how old Brooke looks (and how Zig reminded him of it at the bar after the rehearsal dnner).

– How one of the bride’s friends had warned her that the groom had been cheating on her. (Drew had his suspicions, too.)

– How the bride was no longer talking to that friend, who had not been invited to the wedding.

– How some people thought the groom was an alcoholic.

– How drunk the groom was at the bar the night before the wedding when he stood on a table and toasted the bride.

– How nobody was tipping the bartenders at the reception.

– How he hoped Julia and Noel, his two dateless friends at the wedding, would hook up.

– How Julia didn’t hit it off with Noel.

– How Julia was hitting it off with Kevin.

– Whether Julia and Kevin hooked up on the wedding night.

– Whether Kevin was gay.

– How Sambo’s, the restaurant where we ate breakfast, was themed after the disgraced politically incorrect book Little Black Sambo.

– How he couldn’t stop staring at the scar of the little girl who’d had the heart transplant.

– How I had a blog, where I wrote for all the world to see that I think Drew gossips a lot.

Plus there was the usual talk about his family and friends back home (i.e., Georgian’s married boyfriend, his parents the “weirdies”, Mrs. Shoe’s estrangement from her kids). But I barely hear that anymore.

Yes, I know having a blog like this is the ultimate form of gossip (does Drew know that?), and I know Drew’s going to read every word of this entry, and maybe that makes me a big jerk. But remember: he asked for it.

And now that you’re checking the blog, Drew, you’re going to be reading things that I’m writing about you.

A lot.

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