GONE

Now Dave’s gone, too.

All my friends keep moving away. First Adam left, because he was sick of LA. Then Janice left, because she was sick of LA and because she was in love with Dave. (It’s okay. Everyone knows about it now. We all got it out in the open. It was very cathartic.)

Now Dave’s gone. We had a going away party for him last night and this morning he hit the road.

Other people I know have left, too, like Robb and Luke, but I wasn’t really good friends with Robb or Luke, and I’m not gonna pretend like I was just to give weight to this blentry (“blentry” = “blog entry” — see, it’s like a contraction of a contraction — aren’t I clever?)

This is about the 1,000th time Dave has threatened to leave the city, but it’s the first time he’s had a good reason. He got a job on the new Whoopi Goldberg sitcom, which is shooting in New York. Okay, but we all know how TV works, which means Dave’s job isn’t guaranteed past Thanksgiving. So we all want to be optimistic (Whoopi Goldberg fail? Is it possible???) But it would’ve made sense for Dave to at least hang onto his apartment… just in case. Only he didn’t.

Adam never came back, and Janice never came back. Dave’s not coming back.

People really hate LA.

No, this doesn’t surprise me. Believe me, I get it. I hate LA, too. The smog. The shallowness. The segregation. (Ask yourself how often you meet people outside of your race or social class. Or someone who isn’t in the entertainment industry.)

So why haven’t I left?

Well, I’m not going to live up North — it’s too cold. And I’m not going to live in the South. They only recognize gay rights when the Supreme Court forces them to. I’m too much of a city boy for the suburbs. I need to be able to walk to Blockbuster. Vegas? Nah, too much secondhand smoke. That leaves a few other choices — San Diego or San Francisco maybe. But I couldn’t go to those places.

I’d miss my friends.

Yeah, there are a lot of jerks and losers in LA, but you know what? There are a lot of cool people, too. I’ve never in my life had more friends — close, real friends I enjoy spending time with and talk to regularly — than I have right now. I blow people off now not because I don’t really like them but because I have too many other people I want to hang out with.

I love LA.

I just hate that everyone’s leaving.