Here’s a phone conversation I had just minutes ago with the DMV:

[After being on hold for ten minutes…]

DMV: Hi, this is Albert, Operator #53. How may I help you?

[The volume is EXTREMELY loud, so I turn my phone’s volume down.]

ME: I’m sorry, what was your name again?

DMV: Albert. A-L-B-E-R-T.

ME: Oh, hi, Albert.

DMV: Operator #53.

ME: Hi, Albert. I’m calling because I renewed my driver’s license on May 17th, and I still haven’t received it.

DMV: Well, it can take up to six weeks to receive your new license.

ME: It was six weeks this past Saturday actually.

DMV: I see.

ME: I’m just concerned because the temporary license is going to expire soon.

DMV: Do you have your license number?

ME: Yes, I do. It’s —

DMV: Well, I am blind. So I cannot operate the machinery myself.

ME: Oh. Uh–

DMV: Please hold while I transfer you to another operator.

ME: Oh. Okay.

DMV: Just tell them you were talking to Albert, and my operator number is 53.

[After holding for another ten minutes –]

DMV: This is Stephanie.

ME: Hi, Stephanie. I was just talking to Albert —

DMV: And Albert transferred you? Of course.

[I should point out that Stephanie sounds EXTREMELY annoyed, whether at the blind guy constantly transferring people to her or at her life in general, I’m not sure.]

ME: I was supposed to have received my new license by now and it hasn’t come.

DMV: Your license number…?

ME: [I give my license number.]

DMV: It was mailed on June 11.

ME: Oh. Well, I haven’t received it.

DMV: It takes four to six weeks.

ME: Well, it’s been six weeks already. And you’re telling me it was mailed almost three weeks ago. It should’ve come by now.

DMV: Not necessariliy.

ME: But mail doesn’t take three weeks.

DMV: I said it goes to the mailroom on June 11. They send it bulk mail. Sometimes it sits there for a while before it goes out.

ME: But my temp license expires on July 15.

DMV: You’ll be fine.

ME: Well —

DMV: If you don’t get it soon, call back. Thank you!

[She hangs up]

So, if you have to call the California DMV and you want the best service available, ask for Albert. He’s operator #53.

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