ARRRR! ‘TIS A SCURVY CREW!

The new Survivors are coming! The new Survivors are coming!

Here are some of my first impressions:

Rupert: How scary-looking is this guy? Given the “pirate” theme of this season (note the tribe names: Drake and Morgan *eyeroll*), I think they wanted at least one guy who actually looks like a pirate. Let’s all mesh our fingers together like Christy and say it in unison: “Creepy!” If anything should happen to Robbie Coltrane, I hear this guy’s next in line for the Hagrid role.

Lillian “Lill”: What can you say about a woman who poses for her picture in a Boy Scout uniform? Well, she knows how to get noticed by the casting department. I’ll give her that. If the dorky pose was indeed a calculated move, Lill could be a genius at manipulation. But if she’s really just some freak in a scout suit, she should probably “be prepared” for an early boot.

Ryan S.: You know I’m bound to root for anyone who lists “Nintendo Power” as a favorite magazine and #DDDDFF as his favorite color (I believe that’s an HTML code). But to paraphrase the Simpsons, I’m not sure his wussiness will come in handy. Favorite alcohol? “Drinking is for the boring.” Yes, he said that. Geez, even Lillian the Scout Freak is likely to think this kid’s weird.

Jon: Jon said something on the Early Show about disliking old people and wanting to vote them off first and build a “young people’s utopia”. I’m not sure when I stopped saying things like that, but I’m pretty sure it was before I turned 29, Jon’s current age. Jon better hope the other castaways don’t think he’s one of the old people. And he’d better keep that ugly skull cap on. I suspect he’s balding underneath.

Michelle: She looked like the token Colleen/Elisabeth cute young pixie from what I saw on the Early Show. Drew is convinced she’s somehow disabled. From our IM chat: “she supports the special olympics. who else does that but handicapped people?” Uh, I don’t know, Drew? Nice people?

If I have to pick a winner at this point, I might go with Andrew, who looks like he could be a good father figure type for his ragtag tribe. But who knows. They all look kinda weird to me.

I can’t wait.