GOOGLE ME THAT!

Since I don’t have time for a real post today, here’s something that always amuses me: a list of recent search terms that have led people to this blog. (I know, this only encourages more people to search these things and end up here, but what can I say… it’s a vicious but amusing cycle.)

These are listed exactly as they were entered — including quotation marks and exclamation points [bracketed comments are mine]:

“brad garret” gay [twice, and sorry, guys, he’s married]

nontraditional families sitcom

movie brown bunny/chloe sevigny [about a zillion variations on this one — usually they want pictures of the infamous fellatio scene, which I don’t have and don’t want to see — ever]

1940’s clothes in South Carolina [my site comes up 129th if you search this on Yahoo, which indicates somebody is doing INTENSIVE research on this topic if they actually got to me]

gossip “Queer Eye” “secretly straight” […which would be the best rumor ever, and I only WISH I started it — but don’t get too excited, this google search returned only three listings, all of which were really about Boy Meets boy and only tangentially mentioned Queer Eye]

springsteen franken lie! [Apparently, Google searches faster if you include an exclamation point!]

everything about homosexuality on spongebob show [Sorry, I’ve got nothing. And as a side note to whoever’s graduate thesis topic this is… enjoy your time in school. You won’t have a job when it’s over.]

secondhand machinery dealers 2003 [If you’re looking for 2003 goods, what are the odds they’re already secondhand?]

“photos of disaster scenes”

allyce beasley bathing suit [Uh… yikes]

doubting riley [This came up a bunch of times… and this is just about the only search I think I was actually helpful on]

rockets hilarious uniform [my site comes up 7th of 922 results on this bizarre search]

discounted cotton candy makers

cost of notarizing at mailboxes etc

… and of course, there are the usual Angelyne and depantsing searches.

All of this just goes to prove that nobody’s using the internet for anything productive at all.

Or at least that this website isn’t.