REVELATIONS

Black artists take over US top 10

For the first time ever, all top 10 singles on Billboard’s Hot 100 are by African-American artists. Wait a second… Chingy is black?!?

Hooray! I finally found a cached copy of the Onion’s unfortunately-timed editorial “Thank You, But That Was Siegfried’s Idea”, which appeared just a few days before Roy’s tiger mauling and was quickly taken down by the site in “good taste”. A quick scan reveals nothing morbidly ironic. Darn.

I finally figured out why I like Robert Randolph and the Family Band so much. It’s because they remind me of one of my favorite bands of the late 70’s and early 80’s.

I finally figured out what my neighbor’s vanity license plate means. It reads “3SCORE9”. (Hint: Think Lincoln.)

It reminds me of the time I was waiting at the drive-thru at Arby’s and I looked up at the giant hat, staring at their name. “Arby’s… R… B… Roast… Beef… Roast beef, but of course!”

It’s these moments of clarity that put me at peace.