ARE YOU INTEGROUS? DO YOU LIKE BAR HOPING?

If you thought Danny Pintauro’s Friendster profile (thanks, Let Me Get This Straight) was a little disturbing, check out Richard Hatch’s ad on Big Muscle Bears.com. (Caution: this link might not be safe for work. In fact, I would’ve posted this yesterday, except my company blocked the site.) Rich goes by the screen name “Triwhale”, which I’m counting on somebody to explain to me (please).

The “Survivor” champ says he’s “looking to intimately share life with a bold, intelligent, integrous man”.

So do we have a love connection? Well, let’s see. Rich says he’s “versatile (really)” and that he prefers “sexually assertive men (total tops or truly versatile guys)”. Danny, on the other hand, is a “versatile bottom sexually”, and he’s also looking for a top, though a “versatile” one “with the qualities of a bottom”. Well, everyone sounds pretty versatile. So far, so good… I guess.

But before you email Danny to tell him to head over to the Barona Casino in San Diego, take another look back at his ideal man. He wants someone “adventurous…” (check), “open minded…” (check), “not self centered…” Oh, well. Sorry Rich. But good luck pursuing BeefNBoxers. He seems like a nice young muscle bear.