CONVERSATIONS WITH MYSELF

JERRY (three weeks ago): Hmmm… so I can order CDs from Amazon.co.uk and find stuff that’s not available in the US? And without paying outrageous import prices? Wowee, a new way to satisfy my boy band addiction! Finally, Westlife will be mine!

JERRY (last Thursday): Hooray! Westlife, you finally made it across the Atlantic! Wait a second… I Have a Dream? Against All Odds? Uptown Girl?!?!?!?!? How many lame covers did they do? I’m not even going to listen to this garbage! Boo, Westlife! Boo, boy bands! Boo, Amazon.co.uk!!!!

JERRY (driving to work this morning, singing): You’re the only one who really knew me at allllllllll… I love how he accents “really” on the first syllable, not the lame way Phil Collins did it! Against All Odds is the best song ever! Oooh, Brian, Kian, Mark, Nicky and Shane, I love you all! Westlife rules!

JERRY (three weeks from now): Boyzone, you’re here! At last we can be together!!!