JESUS, TUPAC, OLD BOYFRIENDS

Some things are known to rise from the dead.

I got a really strange email this morning. It was a response to an online dating profile of mine. The strange thing was that I took down all my profiles ages ago. Or at least I thought I did. Insecure Jerry immediately imagined the worst: “Oh, my God. My profile’s been up all this time. I’m just such a loser that no one was interested in me! I’m an Average Joe! An Average Joe!!!!!”

But Insecure Jerry gave way to Detective Jerry, who went to the site to check it out. Sure enough, my profile was not only deactivated, it was so far gone that the site had deleted it altogether. If I wanted to put a profile up now, I’d have to start from scratch. Then I remembered something else. This site had stopped allowing people to post their email addresses over a year ago. Even if someone had discovered my profile through some cached memory or other internet magic, they couldn’t have used it to contact me directly.

So I took another look at the email. The guy used an obvious pseudonym, gave very little personal information about himself and mostly wanted to know what I was up to. Whether I’m in a relationship. How my personal ad has worked out for me. What kind of relationships I’m looking for.

Looks like a ghost from the past has come back. And he underestimated Detective Jerry’s detective skills.

I’m still trying to figure out how best to jerk this jerk around.