A WHALE OF A TIME

Since I have about 5,000 people to buy for this year, I’ve started Christmas shopping early. While looking for toys for the little girls on my list (oh, and there are MANY little girls on MY list), I came across the following five-star Amazon review for this interactive doll.

This baby is adorable, cute, obedient and most importantly, she is fun!!! When you feel down, you can have a whale of time with her. She will let you forget all your problems, and make you just relax and play with it. You can even talk to her, just like with your best friend. When you feel happy, you can share your happiness with Jasmine.

Besides all those things regarding your moods, of course you must remember to feed her, don’t you agree? Maybe you will think that it’s just feeding her because she is hungry. I don’t agree if you are thinking that way, i only agree that you are feeding her because she is hungry. Why don’t you just spend a little little time looking at her drink? She look so cute, more than any other things. Haha…if you really did so, i know that you will thinking i’m lying. Well, imagination! I imagined that Jasmine was my real baby, my very own cute baby, that was how i imagined that she was really drinking her milk, looking cute.

I started learning knitting. After i had ‘mastered’ knitting, i actually knitted diapers, shirts… for Jasmine. I thought that she looked totally adorable, fantastic! Now, for things she could do. She could crawl, sing and many many more. Jasmine has this milk bottle so cool.

There is much too many great things about her that i really can’t tell you all. But tell you what. If you really want to know more, be like me, go and buy one baby. Even if you don’t like Jasmine, you can choose others. No regrets for you, if you bought it. But don’t blame me for not telling you, you will regret if you don’t act fast, to go and buy it…I might be just a 12 years old girl, but it didn’t stop me from having a toy, a toy just like a real baby. I had loved babies when i was young, till now. I had a dream, to have children when i grow up, after i marry. But, because of the person who invented ‘my little baby’, my dream had ‘come true’…

Please: please, be kind to your ‘my little baby’. Don’t throw it aside when you got tired of it bacause, you should think about this: when you grow up, marry, and have your own child, will you treat him/her nicely? Think about that before you throw it aside, just because something new came out, and you like it more than your ‘my little baby’. I’m confidence that i would take care of ‘my little baby’ really carefully but i also hope that you would.

When I got to the part about her only being twelve, I heaved the biggest sigh of my life. I don’t know why, but I was picturing a middle-aged woman with 35 cats.

I mean, she’s still creepy at twelve.

In other news, PETA is going after Clay Aiken with a campaign that has Triumph the Insult Comic Dog saying “Get Neutered—It Didn’t Hurt Clay Aiken”. PETA apparently declared him fair game because he did an interview where he admitted that he doesn’t like cats. It’s one thing for a puppet dog to impugn your masculinity, but a nonprofit organization? Man, that shit’s cold.

I don’t know what bugs me more, that PETA has reached a new low, or that they’ve put me in the position of defending Clay Aiken.