Wednesday, 10:30 AM:
BOSS: I need you to fax this Agreement You Don’t Give a Crap About to Annoying Jerk Who Calls All the Time.
Wednesday, 3:05 PM:
B: Did you fax Agreement You Don’t Give a Crap About to Annoying Jerk Who Calls All the Time?
J: Yes. This morning.
B: I don’t think you ever gave it back to me.
J: Yes I did. It’s in your inbox.
B: Oh. Okay. Hey, I also need you to messenger this Crappy Christmas Gift to Pampered Client first thing tomorrow morning.
J: I won’t be here tomorrow morning.
B: Then do it tomorrow as soon as you get in.
J: I won’t be hear at all tomorrow.
B: Are you out the rest of the week?
B: Next week, too?
J: Uh, yeah. We talked about this a month ago when I requested the time off. I marked it on your calend–
B: Is someone covering your desk?
J: Yeah, there’s a temp coming.
B: Shit, I didn’t get your Christmas gift yet.
J: It’s okay.
J: Really, don’t worry about it.
Wednesday, 5:02 PM:
B: My wife just ran to the mall to get your gift, so–
J: You really don’t have to–
B: Don’t leave till she gets here.
B: Hey, where’s Agreement You Don’t Give a Crap About?
J: In your inbox.
B: Okay, I probably just have to look for it.
Wednesday, 5:20 PM:
B: Can you come in here please?
J: (Deep sigh)
B (big fake smile): Happy Holidays!
BOSS’ WIFE: Happy holidays, Jerry!
J: You really didn’t have to.
BW: We wanted to get you something to show we appreciate everything you do.
She hands Jerry a nicely-wrapped box from Tiffany. Jerry’s sense of dread rises.
BW: If you don’t like it, that’s okay. But I really think you’ll like it!
Jerry unwraps the box and discovers the most expensive keyring ever created by humankind, which his brother-in-law will later look up online and discover is worth $125.
J: Oh, it’s great.
BW: For your keys!
J: I have plenty of keys.
B: Happy holidays.
J: You, too. Bye.
Thursday, 5:17 AM:
Jerry’s phone rings. Jerry doesn’t answer it.
Thursday, 5:45 AM:
Jerry plays back his answering machine messages.
B: Hey, sorry to call so early, but I don’t think you ever gave me back Agreement You Don’t Give a Crap About. Could you leave me a message at the office and tell me where I can find it? Happy Holidays.
Saturday, 1:30 PM:
Jerry still hasn’t called him back.