WHY MY NEXT GAMES NIGHT WILL BE INVITATION ONLY (PART ONE)

During a game of ‘Celebrities’…

PLAYER #1: Uh… I don’t know this one…

Puts the slip back in the hat.

JERRY: You can’t put it back once you’ve seen it!

PLAYER #1: I don’t know this one either!

Puts it back in the hat.

JERRY: If you don’t know it, you have to break it down and do a sound-alike!

PLAYER #1: I don’t know this one either! This game is hard!!!

Puts it back in the hat.

JERRY: (sigh)

WHY MY NEXT GAMES NIGHT WILL BE INVITATION ONLY (PART TWO)

PLAYER #2: Okay… I don’t know this person.

Shows the slip to another player.

PLAYER #2: Is this a president or something?

JERRY: Do a sound-alike.

PLAYER #2: Okay, his first name sounds like “light”.

JERRY: You can’t really do rhymes.

PLAYER #3: Why not?

OTHER HELPFUL PLAYER: Because then every clue becomes “Sounds like Schmitney Schmears.”

PLAYER #2: Um… okay… well then… uh…

JERRY: (sigh) Is it Dwight?

PLAYER #2: Yes!

JERRY: Dwight Eisenhower?

PLAYER #2: That’s it!

JERRY: Uh, yeah, that’s a president.

WHY MY NEXT GAMES NIGHT WILL BE INVITATION ONLY (PART THREE)

A subsequent round…

PLAYER #1: I don’t know this one either!

JERRY: (slowly preparing to slit wrists…) Break it down… sound it out… life is futile…

PLAYER #1: Her name sounds like “chocolate”.

Silence.

PLAYER #1: Um… I think she’s an actress. Chocolate brownie. Sounds like “chocolate brownie”.

PLAYER #4: Charlotte Bronte?

PLAYER #1: Yeah!

Time runs out.

PLAYER #4: Good job! That was awesome!

PLAYER #1: Jesus Christ! Who keeps putting in all these obscure people?