HOW I’M WASTING KILLING TIME LATELY

• Want to figure out which candidate is the best match for you? You’ll have to do lots of research and follow the news every day. Want to know which candidate is the best match for you, and you only have five minutes to devote to the subject? Just take this handy quiz! (Thanks, AOL/TimeWarner!)

  And of course, the one I score 100% on is the goofball candidate. Surprisingly, though, Kerry was my #2 with 94% compatibility, followed by Sharpton with 90%. Honestly, I didn’t know Al and I disagreed on anything except his electability.

  My compatibility with G.W.B.: a mere 8%.

• Here’s something everyone can agree on: the brilliance of spam poetry!
• Who’s Kristofer Desrocher, you ask?
• My new favorite game: find a crazy petition and try to guess how many signatures it has. I sure hope they get their Roxette DVD.