ONE CHICKEN CLUB SANDWICH, HOLD THE SOAP

Yes, it’s true that some Wendy’s employees were photographed bathing in their store’s sink. But let’s get to the part of the story that interests me…

According to the online poll that accompanies the story, 8% of people (as of the time I viewed it) had voted that this would make them MORE likely to eat at that Wendy’s. Think about that for a second. In raw numbers, that’s 2,606 people who think, “Hmmm… fast food workers sudsing up their armpits and scrubbing their acne-pocked backs in the Wendy’s kitchen? Wow, I could go for a Frosty^TM right now!” Or, possibly more likely, “Hey, dude, wouldn’t it be, like, biggidy-bang radical hella extreme da bomb if we clicked ‘yes’? Haw, haw!” As if we needed further proof that online polls mean nothing.

If I thought I had any sort of substantial, motivated, sufficiently jackassy readership, I’d do everything I could to drive those poll numbers up, just to savor the thought of those newscasters looking at the results and going, “Whoa! This just in! Unsanitary restaurants are a hit!” Alas, whyjerrywhy.com is no fark, so I’m just going to sit here and click yes about a thousand times myself.

Haw, haw!

Update: I guess the Farkers were behind those screwy results all along. Looks like they beat me to it. Their jokes were better, too.