D & E are A.O.K.

Well, I finally got up the nerve to ask Person D about the wedding gift my friends and I got him and his wife back in September. To recap: a group of us chipped in to get them a big ass gift certificate to Best Buy, which I slipped inside a card and personally handed them in a parking garage about two weeks after the wedding. A couple of months later, Person D started talking about some expensive purchases he planned to make at Best Buy, which would’ve been a great time to thank me for the gift, or so I thought. Instead, he said he’d be buying his stuff with some Christmas cash from his grandma. Huh? Whuh?! A-hibbly-jibbly-whozitt?!?!?

Suddenly, I felt like I was living in a “Curb Your Enthusiasm” episode. Technically, newlyweds have a year to send their thank-yous, so I didn’t want to be rude and bring it up. But I couldn’t help thinking back to Jennifer’s hairbrush in the Family Ties TV movie where they went to England, and thereby picturing some bizarre string of events involving a missing microfilm which was hidden inside an identical envelope that might’ve caused the gift certificate to be stolen by some bumbling European spies, who then treated themselves to a Tivo and an Matrix box set.

More months go by, the thank you still doesn’t come, and my co-gifters keep asking me, “Have you heard anything yet?” It’s still within the socially acceptable year, but I’m getting more and more nervous, and I finally ask myself, “What would Larry David do?” So I called D and got ready for the awkward hilarity that was sure to ensue.

D’s response was, “I knew it!” I’m pretty sure “it” meant that he’d been wracked with guilt for months about not getting those cards out, but I couldn’t help feeling like I’d just lost a battle of wills wherein he was hoping I would cave and call before he caved and thanked. Anyway, the point is that they got the gift, they’re very appreciative, and they feel EXTREMELY guilty about not thanking me/us sooner.

And at this point, that’s the best thank you I could imagine.