Today is Tuesday.

At least, that’s what I decided at exactly 9:00 this morning when I stumbled into work (okay, it was 9:07) and tore off the weekend pages on my Onion desk calendar to discover a lovely infographic titled “How Do We Like Our Cock?” The accompanying bar graph used long, curvy phalluses to represent categories like “Meaty”, “Throbbing”, “Black” and “Hard, Bi-Curious”.

Of course, there are always those thorny sexual harassment issues to think about, but since people tend to notice the clever Onion headlines on my desk and comment on them, I was more worried about my co-workers, the majority of whom are catty fiftysomething women with bad hips and potty mouths, deciding to weigh in on the subject.

That’s not a conversation I’d enjoy having.

So rather than run the risk of hearing “What about knobby?”, I decided to destroy that page.

Happy Tuesday.

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