IMPORTANT PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT

I won’t claim to speak for you, but I certainly have been known to scream for ice cream. So I’m pretty bummed that I missed Ben & Jerry’s free cone day by one measly day. I can’t help thinking about what I was doing yesterday and how much better each of those activities would’ve been with a free cone of New York Super Fudge Chunk in my hand. Sadly, it was not meant to be…

However, lest another ice cream giveaway go by unnoticed by the masses, I feel it is my civic duty to spread the word that TONIGHT, April 28, 2004, from 6-10pm is Free Scoop Night at Baskin Robbins. And the best part is that by not paying for ice cream, you’ll actually be supporting literacy! How? Because all the illiterate people out there will see huge lines coming out of Baskin Robbins and think, “If only I could read those signs on the front door, I’d know why those people were waiting in line.”

Oh, yeah, and they’ll be grubbing for donations to a literacy program.

So if you’re looking for me tonight, I’ll be standing in a long line waiting to get a tiny container of something I’m perfectly willing to pay a couple of bucks for ordinarily, and which, after my donation, will end up costing me about the same price anyway.

Down with rational thinking! HOORAY FOR FREE SCOOP NIGHT!