Mike saw a TV news report that said lots of jobs were being outsourced to India. He wanted to see if he could outsource his jerkiness, so he tried to buy a ticket to Bombay. “Oh, they changed the name of that city,” the airport ticket person said. “It’s called Mumbai now.”

“You idiot!” her coworker said. “You weren’t supposed to tell him that! That’s Mike!”

“Don’t tell me they changed the name of their city just so I wouldn’t find it!” Mike said.

“Oh, yes,” the airport ticket people said. “You are hated all over the Asian subcontinent. Bangkok is thinking of changing its name to Mumbkok.”

Mike was so mad he bought a ticket to Mumbai and moved there. And the people of India were so mad that all one billion of them flew to America and hunted down those airline ticket agents and killed them.

That happened this morning. That’s why you had so much trouble getting someone on the phone if you called Microsoft tech support today.

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