CLOSE CALL

Of everything I’ve ever written about Drew, the thing he gives me the most shit for is the following statement, from a post I made over a year ago:

“Drew gossips a lot.”

Therefore, I present the following evidence, in the form of an IM chat that occurred just minutes ago. Brief background: Dan (all names changed) is a good friend of mine who has long been on the verge of breaking up with his girlfriend, Sheila, who recently worked on one of Drew’s shows. Denise is a pregnant friend of ours.

Jerry: Did I tell you about Dan & Sheila?

Drew: NO!!!!!!

Jerry: Let’s just say Denise’s baby may have a little playmate on the way!!!

Drew: WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!

Drew: ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?

Drew: I thought you were going to say they broke up!!!!!!!

Jerry: Yeah, I’m kidding.

Jerry: They broke up.

Drew: I was on the phone telling someone the news already!! YOU ASS!!!

Jerry: My god you gossip fast!

Jerry: Who were you telling anyway?

Jerry: Not someone who knows Sheila I hope

Drew: totally!

Drew: i stopped before i said anything

Jerry: Oh thank god

Jerry: I started to tell you the real gossip, but it didn’t seem hot enough, so I figured I’d spice it up first!

Jerry: sorry

Drew: thank god, it was her boss.

Jerry: can you imagine?!

Jerry: I’m bad, but you’re WORSE!

Drew: i’m bad, but YOU’RE worse — you lied about the gossip!!!

Drew: to a known gossip!

Jerry: Only because I didn’t think you could possibly pass it on in TEN SECONDS!

Drew: you underestimated my powers, youngster.

Jerry: for the last time ever!