THE CLOCK IS TICKING
Not just anyone could do my job. I don’t mean to sound snobby or boastful when I say that. In fact, I have a lot of respect for anyone who couldn’t do this job. If someone walked in here, sized up my boss and told him to fuck off all on their first day, they would be my hero.
But here I am, trying to train the temp, with only one day left to go after this. I’m showing her how to do everything. I’m talking so much I’m losing my voice. I gave her a brief not-too-scary, not-too-sugarcoated warning about my boss. She assures me she’s worked for difficult people before. She even seems to be picking up on certain things reasonably well.
And yet I know that as soon as I leave tomorrow, she’s pretty much a goner. She might remember how to do most of the things I have to do (and I’m realizing through the training process that there are more than I thought), but I really don’t know how she’ll cope without me as her safety net.
Part of me doesn’t care. Even as I’m explaining something to her, part of me doesn’t care if she really gets the hang of it. I certainly don’t care for my boss’ sake — so what if the phone calls get messed up or his expense reports aren’t entered properly? I won’t be stuck cleaning up the mess, I won’t be here to take the heat, and the thought of him struggling in my absence makes me feel warm and beautiful inside.
If the temp quits the day after I leave, she’ll be better off in the long run, and my boss will be totally screwed. It’s win-win. I’ve vowed to stay in touch with a couple of people here after I go, if only because I need to get some updates on how many people my boss has to go through before he finds somebody to replace me.
I had a difficult boss once before. I worked there almost two years, and a year after I left, a coworker from that job told me that he’d through 20 assistants and still hadn’t found someone permanent. I suspect my current boss will be lucky not to break that record.
It’s sad, but I know that I’ll have to be long gone before I’m really appreciated.