Things I’m looking forward to this fall:


A Dirty Shame – It’s about time John Waters hooked up with Tracey Ullman, dammit. If the soundtrack features “They Don’t Know”, this will probably become my favorite movie ever. (September 24)

Team America: World Police – Drew knows someone who’s seen it who dismissed it as nothing but “puppets hardcore fucking and shitting”. How could anyone have any problem with that? (October 15)

I Heart Huckabees – The trailer stinks, and it never really explains what a Huckabee is or why anyone would heart one. But I heart David O. Russell, and that’s all that matters. (October 1)

Shall We Dance? – Proof that trailers can change minds. I thought this sounded like the worst movie ever. But the preview got to me. I mean it really got to me. It filled me so full of the human spirit that I walked out of the theater and hugged a hobo. All is forgiven, J-Lo. Make Richard Gere dance! Make him dance! (October 15)

Bad Education – La nueva pelicula de Pedro Almodovar? No puedo esperar! (11/19)

Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events – I’m always excited to see any movie that’s based on a book I’ve actually read. Okay, fine, so this is based on three books that total about 30 pages altogether and it was written for kids. And I only read one of the books. Shut up. (December 17)

Spanglish – All I know is that James Brooks is directing. And that’s enough. (December 17)


Joey – I’d be as skeptical about this as anyone else, but I’ve seen the pilot and it’s hilarious. I stopped watching Friends toward the end, but I’m ready to fire up Tivo #2 so I can record this and Survivor at the same time.

LAX – When discussing this show, Drew’s boss griped, “Who would believe Heather Locklear runs LAX?” To which Drew replied, “Well, I would.” That’s why I love Drew.

life as we know it — It’s got Kelly Osborne: bad. Its title is all lower-case: even worse. But it was created by a couple of Freaks & Geeks vets, so I’ll give it a chance.

Survivor: Vanuatu – Another men vs. women matchup? Snore, snore. An amputee and two lesbians? Burnett, you snagged me again!

Bands Reunited – The show with the best premise ever is back! And this time they’ve got the English Beat, ABC and NKOTB… or do they? Please, Donnie Wahlberg, please!

The Apprentice 2 – Let’s make this the #2 show in America… just because that’ll drive Trump nuts.


Diff’rent Strokes, The Complete First Season – A moment of silence for Dana Plato, please. (September 14)

Fahrenheit 9/11 – You just know Michael Moore saved the really good stuff for this DVD, since it comes out just a couple weeks before the election. As to what could be worse than W sitting clueless in that Florida classroom for 7 minutes, I don’t know. Maybe he takes a crap on a bald eagle? (October 5)

What’s Happening, The Complete Second Season – Yes, this is the season where they get busted for bootlegging the Doobie Brothers concert. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, I don’t want to know you. (October 5)


The Thrills “Let’s Bottle Bohemia” – They have more songs in my iTunes top 25 than anyone else. Two. (September 14)

Tears for Fears “Everybody Loves a Happy Ending” – Has there ever been a better title for a reunion album? Sure, I’ve already downloaded half of this off iTunes, but if the other half is half as good, it’ll be 3/4 of a perfect album. (September 14)

R.E.M. “Around the Sun” – Anyone who says they’re not as good as they used to be probably hasn’t heard “Up”. They probably have heard “Reveal”, but one less-than-stellar album doesn’t destroy a band’s credibility. Anyway, I don’t care if they do start to suck. Any band that makes an “Automatic for the People” has earned my disposable income for the rest of my life. (October 5)

Ted Leo “Shake the Sheets” – I don’t love the new single (which you can download for free here), but his last album could kick your mama’s ass – not that it would. Ted’s a nice boy. (October 19)

Pure Francis “Diamond” – It’s Robbie Williams’ sure-to-be-disastrous “makeover” project, wherein he performs a different style of music (electronic) as a “character” he created. If you’re thinking Chris Gaines, Chrisafer’s way ahead of you. Why am I still interested? I love my Robbie, and I love disasters. I’m hoping for a catastrophic success. (October)

U2, Untitled – Yes, even though it has a song called “Yahweh” on it. Ugh. (November 23)

Things I’m dreading this fall:

Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow (9/17)

Election Day (11/2)

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