– “Did you see Chrisafer’s post today?”

– “Yeah, oh my God! It’s about your two favorite things!”

– “Me and Ted Leo?”

– “Exactly.”

– “Danny told me the big plot twist in Hide & Seek.”

– “How does Danny know?”

– “I don’t know.”

– “What a jerk.”

– “Seriously.”

– “Was it stupid?”

– “So unbelievably stupid.”

– “Well, what is it?”

– “Charlie is _______________.”

– “That’s so stupid.”

– “Isn’t it?”

– “It doesn’t even make sense!”

– “Not at all. How do movies get made with such stupid plot twists?”

– “I kind of want to see it now.”

– “Me, too.”

“Nobody’s been fucked in that room for a long time!”

– Drew very bluntly explaining, after hearing serious headboard-and-dirty-talk noise coming through the bedroom wall at 11:30 at night, why the new neighbors seem so much happier than the old neighbors.

While watching the Apprentice, Drew and I both noticed a strange moving truck in the background whose logo had been mostly covered over but was still very recognizable. Unlike certain companies which clearly have lucrative endorsement deals with the show, any organization whose products appear on screen but who fails to pony up some major dough has its trademark rather sloppily obscured by the production so as to send the message, “Hey, we’re not giving away free publicity here.” (If I just had one of those video capture things for my computer, this would be so much easier.)

So, on a very childish dare from me, Drew called 411, and here’s his half of the conversation…

“Hi, in Seaside Heights, New Jersey please…”

“Yes, the number for a moving truck company. It’s called ‘Ul’.”

“Nothing? Well, maybe it’s ‘U-L’. Can you check that, too?”

“No, it has to be in there. I just saw it on ‘The Apprentice’.”

“Yeah, they were renovating these motel rooms in Seaside Heights, and you could see a moving truck in the background. It’s white with an orange stripe and it says ‘Ul’ on it. They rent for $39.95. Please, can you help me? I really want to use the trucks they used on ‘The Apprentice’.”

“Nothing? Well, thank you.”


Explosive laughter follows, fading into the night…

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