When it comes to bragging about your kids, here’s one you don’t hear very often:
My toddlers appreciate boybands at a 13-year-old girl’s level.
Not to be immodest, but with my 2 1/2 year old twins, that would be an understatement. They squeal with delight when a One Direction song comes on. We watch the videos for “What Makes You Beautiful”, “One Thing” and “One Thing (Acoustic)” before they go to bed at night. They beg to hear the album whenever we’re in the car. They even specifically request “the sad song” with an appropriate degree of tweenage sullenness.
And I, for one, couldn’t be prouder.
My kids clap along to 1D's SNL appearance.
Before anyone gets any creepy ideas, my personal fondness for boybands is in no way akin to Lou Pearlman’s. I don’t know any of the boys’ names, their favorite colors or their secret celebrity crushes.
My kids are too young to care about those things either (thank goodness). So why are we a family of Directioners? (OK, I’ll leave Drew out of it, but the kids and I are all fans.) Here are a few reasons:
Their music is better than kids’ music. Occasionally, I can get my kids to listen to The Shins or Wilco, and Bennett will proudly admit that “Motortown” by the Kane Gang is his “jam”. But most of the time, “Daddy music” just doesn’t cut it, and One Direction is a lot more tolerable to these grown-up ears than The Wiggles. 1D’s debut album, Up All Night, is far less abysmal than you’d expect, and there are no blandly educational lyrics to spoil the fun melodies.
Their music is catchy enough to be kids’ music. I may see a big difference between One Direction and The Wiggles, but my kids don’t. Their tunes are upbeat (even the sad song), catchy and easy to sing along to. My twins never complain when 1D is on, and I never have to pretend my iPod is broken just to get a moment’s peace.
Their music is cleaner than most pop music. OK, yes, it’s time for me to strap on my fuddy-duddy hat and chase the rest of today’s top 40 hits off my lawn. Do you know how hard it is to find songs that are appropriate for 2-year-olds (or 10-year-olds for that matter) in today’s music scene?
Madonna’s song “Give Me All Your Luvin'” seems perfectly pitched at her bediapered fans. It even has a chorus which consists of shouting out letters, just like on Sesame Street. And then, just when it seems like fun for the whole family, M.I.A. shows up and drops the S-bomb in a completely unnecessary second rap interlude. You can’t avoid it either, because there’s no “clean” version of the song available.
My only choice is to lower the volume whenever the offending section comes on. As a result, my kids have learned two things from Madonna’s latest hit – that “L-U-V” spells Madonna and that “Daddy doesn’t like M.I.A.”
With 1D, I never have to touch the volume knob or hit the skip button. Their songs are actually even more innocent than their titles suggest. “What Makes You Beautiful” isn’t “the way you do me, baby” or “that sweet ass”, as today’s Top 40 fan might expect. It’s that “you don’t know you’re beautiful”. Aww. And when the guys say they want to stay “Up All Night”, it’s with the glee of a squeaky-clean teen whose idea of being naughty is thumbing his nose at bedtime. Why do they want to stay up? Duh, to dance, of course.
They’re easy to root for. Just when you thought I couldn’t get fuddier or duddier, watch me double down… I like One Direction because, well, they seem like nice boys.
They’re goofy and awkward, like 18-year-olds are supposed to be. They have terrible hair. They smile like they actually appreciate being famous. These kids aren’t worried about bringing sexy back. In fact, they’re doing their darndest to shoo it away again. And good for them!
Watching their TV appearances feels something like spying on the back two rows of a school bus on its way to the senior trip. They’re laughing conspiratorially, but they’re not really up to anything bad. They’re just happy not to be doing algebra for a change.
There’s something innocently appealing about that kind of unprofessionalism, especially in a world where we turn to reality TV competitions to make superstars out of novices. (And of course, the 1D boys were discovered on the UK version of the X Factor. They came in 3rd. Aww.)
"Here comes my part. Better start singing!"
Just watch the blonde kid during any of their performances (including the videos). You can see every single thing that’s going on in his head along the way, from “Oh, right, here’s where we clap.” to “They told me to smile, oops, better start smiling!” to “I wonder if my mates from school are going to see this.”
If one of the One Directions showed up on my doorstep 15 years from now to take my daughter on a date (or – let’s be real – my son), I would be totally OK with that. In fact, I’d be psyched because Drew and I would have plenty of material to snicker about after the kid left. (Did you see his sweater vest? What’s up with that hair swoop? Is there a nest of bees living in there? Tee hee hee!)
The Wanted. If you see this band, run and tell a grown-up!
Compare them to the other British boy band of the moment, The Wanted. Sure, they have a few catchy songs, but frankly, those boys scare me. They look angry and thuggish. Just because your band name is “The Wanted”, it doesn’t mean you need to look like you were recruited out of a police lineup. Seriously, in just what sense are these boys “wanted”? If I see them in public, I’m dialing 911, just to be safe.
Yes, I know what happens to boybands over time, so I know exactly which “direction” this latest batch is headed. They’ll get jaded and egotistical, corrupted by the music industry and the bottomless pit of groupie poon at their disposal. They’ll want to be “taken seriously”, so they’ll add single entendres and M.I.A. interludes to their songs. They’ll see image consultants who’ll give them reasonable haircuts and walk-on roles on “Gossip Girl”. I already hate the One Direction of 5 years from now.
But for now, let me enjoy 1D as it is today – a group of harmonizing dorks who have no idea how dad-friendly they are.
And that, of course, is what makes them dad-friendly.
jerry-mahoney.com 
I see what you did there, even if you don’t realize you did it 🙂 You said that they don’t know how dad-friendly they are, and that’s what makes them dad-friendly…. That’s What Makes You Beautiful rip-off? Nah… 😉
Are you that guy who reveals the magicians’ secrets, because you seem to have cracked my code! 🙂
I had to grit my teeth until I got use to the Wiggles. Very bad of me since I’m an Aussie and so are my two boys. Luckily only one the youngest liked them. Now he sings Adele, Katy Perry and Coldplay with me.
I’ll be honest. We haven’t listened to the Wiggles much at all around here. I’ve been feeding them pop music since they were little. They also love Katy Perry. They’ve only heard a little Coldplay, and I’m waiting to introduce them to Adele.
I refuse to let my son listen to awful music. He listens to the little bit of kids music I find worthwhile (spotify has a great selection of stuff the for kids albums are decent, jack johnson has some good kids stuff, pete seeger, things of that nature) and he loves anything with a beat, he’ll boogie down to primus or devin townsend or k.t. tunstall. I care more about his overall music appreciation than the possibility of him learning an occasional off word. Boy bands and anything that has ever been on american idol are right out!
I still don’t understand why anyone would choose to play kids music for their kids – or is it something they pick up from other kids once they get to preschool? Thanks for the recommendations!
no, i think parents are to blame (initially) my sister played that crap for my niece when she was 6 months old, when i looked at her funny she said “well she likes it”. Some parents just do whatever keeps them quiet, how else would shows like Barney still be around? That giant purple dinosaur will never be on my tv! there’s a grisman and garcia kids album too thats nice and mellow, i believe its called not for kids only.
I had to sit through Telly Tubbies and Barney the Purple Dino………and one wonder’s why I poured a glass of Pinot after bedtime……..
Ha! We’ve avoided Barney so far – and I’m not sure Teletubbies is even on anymore, is it? Lucky for us!
Hilarious post as always! LOVE it! And thanks to you, 1D may have a new fan! I’m sooo looking forward to the songs! Wooo!! And you’re right, over the years, I have found pop songs (and even movies, don’t even get me started on that) to be more risqué, I guess to sell more, but to the point where even 14A? is the new R when it comes to movies. Songs should be rated too as much of the content is a bit much. And for my ‘innocent’ ears, I’m looking forward to 1D. You should totally make a commission off of this. 😀 Thank you for sharing.. 😀
Great – hope you like it. If you’re a fan of Pink, you’ll probably like 1D. Less rocky, more dancey, but the same kind of fun.
Yes, I’m now addicted to the song, “What Makes You Beautiful”. LOve it! Played it at least 10 times yesterday…. Thank you soo much!
Pink.
Awesome. “One Thing” is pretty fun, too.
Woo, will listen! 😀
Mother’s Day is coming up soon too! Can’t wait to read your blog for that day! We can rename it to ‘Mommy Man Day’ 😀
Pink.
Ha! Great idea! 🙂
Yup. I can totally see the post now, Mommy Man Day! Booyah! Inclusion I say! 😀
Pink.
I am a 37 year old woman and I LOVE One Direction for all the reasons you just listed! They are clean, spunky and just thrilled to be here. And their music really is good! I actually managed to get tickets to their concert in Houston in June which is saying a lot since it sold out pretty darn quickly! My kids are going to be SO thrilled when I suprise them in June!
Enjoy the show! I think we’re a few years away from going to any concerts. We’ll be on the next generation of boybands by then. 🙂
Aaah you’re such a Dad 😉 I totally agree though. I’ll be doing some serious iTunes clean-up when I have kids one day.
It’s awful. I’ve become Tipper Gore!
There is lots of good kids music that you can listen to instead of boy bands… For example:
*They Might Be Giants
*The Terrible Twos
*Elizabeth Mitchell
*Dan Zanes
*Lisa Loeb
and there are many more!
Don’t resort to the radio garbage!
Thanks for the recs. We do listen to some TMBG – even their grown-up stuff is great for kids. I’ll have to check the others out. But I think you missed my point – embarrassing as it me be, I kind of like One Direction’s music.
Hey, don’t forget that Ricky Gervais was in a British boy band!
I did forget that! I just had some fun googling it, though! 🙂
We have not tried any one direction at home yet. My daughter at this point thinks all music is Lady Gaga. I will have to give it a try.
We haven’t tried Lady Gaga yet, but I bet the kids would love it!
Jerry, I enjoy all of your posts…they are just great
Thanks!
Great post as usual, Jerry – please, for the love of God, go to wfuv.org and listen to the world’s greatest radio station out of Fordham U. in the Bronx (I still listen to it even tho we’re out of the city). My kids grew up on it and I REALLY think it influenced them. Everything from Adele to Michele Shocked to Dr. John, and more. Click on Listen Live. It’s awesome.
That said, when they were little my kids did the Wiggles, Barney, Teletubbies (trippy)….
That sounds great, Donna. I’ll have to check it out. I remember listening to WLIR (later WDRE) when I was a kid, even though the reception was lousy in NJ. I miss that station!
I absolutely love them, and you a right. So much kiddi music is intolerable. We did the Wiggles and Raffi, but the kids listen to a lot of the music we did. Now they are 5 and 8 and we have to censor the stuff on the radio because they are singing things that are inappropriate and don’t know it!
Funny you say that. I remember singing along to “Relax, don’t do it, when you wanna come!” and having no idea why it made my parents upset. 🙂
This was one of my favorite pieces! My only exposure to 1D has been some friends who are more interested in whether or not they go for the ladies than their music, but I appreciate your fuddy-duddy ways – I’m not a child or a grandma, but I’d still rather listen to a pop song about average, sometimes sappy, teenage interactions than to hear a rapper gleefully describe all the parts of a woman’s body he enjoys. Silly, innocent boybands often receive a bit of flak for not being “serious enough” – but I’m glad they’re serious enough to be the topic of one of your best posts!
Thanks. I didn’t mention it in the post, but I’ve always liked boybands, since long before I had kids – and for just the reasons you mention! 🙂
I realize this is an older post, but it had me laughing hysterically. My 2 year old son’s favorite music is the soundtrack from Mamma Mia-I almost wish I could get him into One Direction just for the variety it would add!
Ooh, I’ll have to try Mamma Mia. I’ve had good luck with showtunes — and Daddy can tolerate those better than some pop music. I bet my kids would love it. We’ve eased up a tiny bit on 1D since I wrote this post, but we still hear them a lot. We got haircuts today, and Bennett told me his new cut made him look like Liam from One Direction. 🙂