I. Breakfast
Bennett: “No, Daddy, that’s not enough cereal!”
Me: “Well, eat that, and then I’ll give you more.”
Bennett: “No! I want more NOW!”
Me: “You need to eat that first.”
Bennett: “No! I’m not eating it! It’s not enough!”
Me: “That’s more than you usually eat. If you finish it, I’ll give you more, but I’m not putting more in the bowl until you eat what’s there.”
Bennett: “WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!”
II. Getting Dressed
Sutton: “Daddy, I want to wear my blue dress today.”
Me: “You can wear it this afternoon, but this morning I thought we’d go to the Burger King with the play area. Does that sound like fun?”
Sutton: “Yay!”
Me: “Great, so let’s wear your Little Mermaid shirt.”
Sutton: “No! I want to wear my blue dress!”
Me: “You always have problems climbing in your dress, so just for the morning, let’s wear your Little Mermaid shirt and shorts. C’mon, that’s your favorite shirt.”
Sutton: “NO! I WANT TO WEAR MY BLUE DRESS!”
She grabs the Little Mermaid shirt out of my hand and runs away. A minute later, she comes back.
Sutton: “I THREW MY LITTLE MERMAID SHIRT IN THE TRASH!!!”
Me: “You did what? That’s it. You’re getting a time out!”
Sutton: “WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!”
III. Lunch
Bennett: “Daddy, I want to go to the Burger King in Mount Kisco!”
Me: “No, that one’s half an hour away. I looked online, and there’s one in Port Chester fifteen minutes closer.”
Bennett: “NO! I WANT TO GO TO THE MOUNT KISCO BURGER KING!”
Me: “Don’t worry. It said this one had a play area, too. I wouldn’t take you to a Burger King without a play area.”
Bennett: “NO! I WANT TO GO TO THE MOUNT KISCO BURGER KING!”
Me: “Just because we’ve been there before, it doesn’t make it the best one. Maybe this new one is even better. It’s good to try new things.”
Bennett: “I WANT TO GO TO THE MT. KISCO BURGER KING!”
Me: “Too bad. We’re going to Port Chester.”
Fifteen minutes later…
Me: “Here we are, guys! Woohoo! Burger King!”
Bennett and Sutton: “YAY!!!!”
Sutton: “Daddy, I don’t see a play place. Daddy…?”
Me: “WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!”
Half an hour later…
At Mount Kisco. Notice what she’s wearing.
jerry-mahoney.com 
Who’s raising who in this family? 😉 So cute. Go dad!!
(And that really is a GREAT dress…)
Oh, the joys of parenthood! And being *buzzer noise* wrong.
I JUST had a run-in with a 5 year old girl I’m babysitting. She wanted to change into a dress that she needs to wear TOMORROW at camp. But we’re in the house for the day. It’s a pretty big deal, and she just shut the room door which is NOT allowed. Gotta run!
Glad to know it’s not just my kids who do the daily multiple meltdown drill!
Love..Set..match!
Awesome. “Daddy, you made a mistake!”. I hate that phrase. 🙂
I’m pretty sure she gets her passive-aggressiveness from me.
That is hilarious! Aren’t the parents supposed to have the authority?!?
Hah, not when you have a toddler though!
My almost 2 year old almost always gets his way with us too (sigh…)
That doesn’t make us ineffective or weak parents. In our defense, we just want to see them happy.
God Bless You!
Yep. Your day sucked. Sorry.
Great post! I feel like these are dialogues taken straight from my house, with the names changed to protect the innocent. 🙂
Often with kids, you aren’t sure whether you are coming or going in a argument. Your day sounds like mine!
half of those tantrums could have been avoided by you (the parent) choosing your battles and letting your child have some say in their day. Could have allowed a bit more cereal and allowed her to wear the dress… Sheesh give some freedom dad.
Really? Burger King? You’re poisoning your children. And you’re a pushover. Not impressed.
We’re all poisoning our children, so let’s not point fingers. I don’t think that keeping a commitment to your children is being a pushover either. If it is, I hope I’m a pushover!
Good grief! You just can’t please some folks can you? Luckily, however, those same people are eager to let you know how wrong you are and in what areas so at least you know what you can do to better yourself. I can only imagine the depth of your gratitude. Heh. 😉
We weren’t a Burger King family so much growing up as we were a McDonald’s family. We didn’t go often, but it was THE place for my friends and I to have our birthday parties. The ball pits, the slides, the giant plastic tic-tac-toe boards– it was great! And probably a heck of a lot cheaper than going someplace like Chuck E. Cheese or the like. All that money to spend on tokens? Yeesh.
Oh the joy. I’m glad to know what I have to look forward to when my daughter gets older. And ignore the jerks you sound like a great dad and very patient.
Have you got my house bugged? The first dialogue happens like this here on a regular basis. In the second one you’d have to replace ‘dress’ with ‘shorts on a cold day’. Not to mention the odd socks (one green and one blue) which the little monster is very fond of wearing and which I don’t even bother discussing anymore. So he is wearing odd socks, sue me! He has yet to toss things he doesn’t like though, so I guess I am lucky.
I love this post; don’t worry about the trolling comments. Totally been there! Most parents of young children get it. It is so hard when what little ones want to do conflicts with the things we know might be best for them. Our reasons often aren’t heard over their strong feelings because they are still developing emotional regulation! They want some control over their environment and can’t cope with the strong feelings they have when they aren’t in charge. Hang in there during those tough days and keep laughing and sharing; it helps those of us going through the same struggles not to feel so alone! (In fact, right now, having one about who gets to shut down the computer, me or my 2.5 year old; she’s not going to be happy because she’s not winning this one…)
Awesome post! LOLOL.. I’m sooo behind in reading blogs, now that I have a real job instead of reading blogs at work.. oy! My support and kudos to you always!
Pink.
It’s always funny reading about people who think they can use reason and logic on toddlers. What happened to “no,” “eat,” and “tough luck, I’m driving”? You’re the adult, ACT LIKE IT. Sheesh.
being a empty nester now i love reading this. such great memories.
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I’m not a parent, but the fact that she threw her shirt in the trash to prove a point is hilarious to me! I’m sure daughters especially forever have the upper hand in the toddler stage.
LOL I’m not there yet; but I could cry from now cuz I know it’s coming..
Oh, how we can relate. 🙂 Our 25-month-old son is mastering the tantrum. So far, our response is to ignore it most of the time. This seems to be the most effective method for OUR KID. But I have a friend who tried the “ignore it” method and even after a few months, it did nothing to end the tantrum. It’s a day-by-day thing, this parenting gig.
I love her dress!
Impeccable fashion sense at such a young age.
I get the feeling some of her best friends will end up being Prada and Gucci.
May God have mercy on your soul! LOL