I had a great chat with my kids’ teacher yesterday about how to handle Mother’s Day. (She actually raised the topic with me, so she gets an A+ in my book.) I told her in our family, we celebrate Special Aunts Day, so she’ll be directing our kids’ craft projects toward their surrogate and egg donor and letting the other kids know that there are many different types of families. Have I mentioned how much I love my kids’ school?
Like I said, though, there are many different types of families, so what we’ve chosen to do isn’t going to work for everyone. Therefore, I wrote a new Lifetime Moms post with a few different suggestions for people whose family may not fit the Mother’s Day (or Father’s Day) mold but who want some ideas for how they can join in the celebration. I hope it’s helpful.
You can check out the Lifetime Moms post here, and if you have any suggestions of your own, please leave a comment.
What a great post! My dad died when I was little and back then, schools were insensitive, so I got to sit out while the other kids made crafts. As a single mom who’s Dad is…hit and miss, I still encourage father’s day, but their heart isn’t totally in it. At their school, mother’s and father’s day crafts are optional, there is another art project for those kids who don’t have a mom or dad, or Jehovah’s Witnesses who don’t celebrate such days. They can simply make another art project. I’m so glad that we are looking at how to celebrate all the different types of families, as the nuclear model isn’t quite the one size fits all type anymore.
I’m horrified to think that any school was ever so insensitive as to make you sit out on doing a craft. That’s unconscionable. Glad to hear your kids go to a more understanding school. And like I said, you should take both Mother’s and Father’s Day for yourself. You’ve earned it!
Unprompted by me, my younger son’s preschool teacher suggested that he make a gift for his grandmother when the class made Mother’s Day crafts. Then he surprised us by doing the Father’s Day craft twice so we’d each have one, which was very sweet.
Mother’s Day is harder for my older son. He had a relationship with his mother, and her absence is always going to be a part of Mother’s Day.
Sorry, Mark. I tried to be sensitive to lots of different scenarios in my column, but your older son’s is one I didn’t really think about. I guess for some people Mother’s or Father’s Day will always be a bit sad and they’ll always feel a bit left out.
I lost my Mom at age 25 so Mother’s Day was a very heartsore day for me but I decided soon after losing her to honor all the older special ladies in my life by sending them cards and telling them how special they were to me……it made me think I was honoring her in my special way….still miss her and she is now gone over 30 years….
Very sweet. Reminds me of a friend of mine whose mother had passed away and how hard her wedding was for her knowing her mom couldn’t be there. Some good friends of her mom had stepped in and helped raise her in her mom’s absence, so she treated them like moms to thank them for all they’d done.
Posted there (Lifetimemoms) but wanted to give you some comment love here, too! 🙂
We definitely focus on Grandma and Nonna on Mother’s Day (we’re a 2 dad family) and it’s been fun so far. And we’re usually at my parents’ Baptist church on Mother’s Day — we just make sure and tell the nursery worker or Sunday School teacher that our family doesn’t have a mom, so to please use “Grandma” or “Nonna” in whatever craft they make. This year we’re taking Grandma out to lunch, along with my brother’s Mother-in-Law — the more mom’s the merrier!
Thanks for the double comment. And happy Grandma and Nonna’s Day to you!
I always have my kids include Aunts, Grandmothers and those close family friends who are basically non-related family as it is more (for us) about appreciating those in our lives who nurture and guide the kids. We are not a two dad family but we are blessed enough to have a good number of variations in our lives to the ol’ stereotypes.
Great point – you don’t have to have a non-traditional family to broaden the concept of what Mother’s Day and Father’s Day mean!
I feel bad for your kids, purposely being forced into the world without a mom to fit daddy’s dream world. How selfish
It’d be selfish to force a child into the world with an ignorant parent. Someone who so clearly doesn’t understand what makes children happy (e.g. love) probably should refrain from having kids, let alone advising others on whether or not they made the right decision.
Jerry, you’re a fine dad. Maybe people that have time to learn silly, trendy acronyms like “smh” need to spend less time on Google and more time reading.
I think Mother’s & Father’s day are overrated ……It should be Parent Day….and should be celebrated EVERY DAY….
Jerry, I think you missed the point. God has made each of us containing Male and Female qualities – each of us have mother and father qualities. You ALL need to celebrate Mother’s day for yourselves, not just a surrogate or other important female people.
In the classroom where I am an aide, the kids make stuff, but it doesn’t necessarily have to be for their mother. One little boy lives with his aunt and uncle and doesn’t see his mom much, but he still always wants to make a gift for his mom, so we try to get him to make two gifts and give one to his aunt! If a kid didn’t have any mother available, I’d probably just ask them who they’d like to give their gift to, and help them make a card for that person, whether it is a female who is like a mother, or their dad, or whoever.