1. Because she’s a raging homophobe, and my book will really piss her off.

2. Because you’re gay, and she’s afraid you’re never going to give her any grandkids.

3. Because she’s already laughed her ass off at Scary Mommy’s and Baby Sideburns’ books, and she wants to read something endorsed by both of those awesome ladies.

4. Because families are families, and if she loves her family, she’ll love reading about mine.

5. Because it has “Mommy” in the title, and that’s more thought than most people give to their Mother’s Day gifts.

Want to buy it? It’s not hard! “Mommy Man” is now back in stock on Amazon, as well as Barnes & Noble, IndieBound and pretty much everywhere. See more ordering options here. But hurry! Mother’s Day will be here soon!

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If you don’t mind waiting until the very last minute, then join my Amazing Chart Twerk 2 by ordering or picking up a copy of “Mommy Man” on Thursday, May 8 as close to 12pm Eastern Time as you can.

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Once Mom has the book, upload a picture of her holding it to the official Mommy Man Facebook page and you might win another copy you can keep for yourself!