For the best and most complete version of my “About” page, you should read this.
After that, the best introduction to me, and probably to my writing as well, can be found in a Modern Love column I wrote for the New York Times.
Please note, contrary to the NYT artist’s rendering, I have never worn a three-person plaid poncho with anyone.
Or you could also watch this Today Show piece about my family that aired in October 2012.
Or you can just read this little bio:
I live with my boyfriend/partner, Drew and our twins Bennett and Sutton, who were born in August 2009. They were conceived via gestational surrogate, with eggs provided by Drew’s sister, Susie. (Yes, I provided the sperm… which I add not because I enjoy talking about my sperm with complete strangers, but because some people will wonder… and what must those people think?)
If any of this is confusing or makes you uncomfortable, then please read my blog for further detail. I promise that once you get to know us, our family makes perfect sense.
I’m currently a stay-home Dad raising my kids full-time, but while they’re sleeping, I write various other stuff, including my memoir, “Mommy Man: How I Went From Mild-Mannered Geek to Gay Superdad,” which is now available!
If you’re looking for somewhere to start reading, check that slider bar at the top of the home page. Those are some of my favorite posts.
Also, please follow me on Twitter and Facebook, and if you really want to, write to me. I love hearing from people, and I’m happy to answer any questions you may have about surrogacy, IVF, gay dadness, twins or where to find pictures of gorillas or cats — still my #1 search hit!
Love reading everything you write Jerry!
Love the blog title and concept! I’ll be subscribing!
Looking forward to reading into your life. I love sharing life experiences, whether I can identify with them or not. It makes me feel special to share my life with someone else and to hear the things they have dealt with!
i love you, man
You are a very clever writer. 🙂
It is so nice to see this! You have our support!
Well, this is definitely a blog worth reading, I like your style, you have a new fan 😉 Good luck with the book! 🙂
Love the blog. I’ve been searching for a while for something that I can read and relate to. I laughed out loud when you mentioned hiding your daughter’s eyes in the men’s room. (I finally gave up and took my daughters to the women’s restrooms. Never had any issues and got lots of smiles!) Can’t wait to read what’s next!
I like your blog. The writing style, the humour, the content… Yeah. I like it. Following! 🙂
Yay! Welcome aboard!
because this blog’s cool, I nominated you for the Versatile Blogger award 🙂 you can check it out here http://heyartist.wordpress.com/2011/11/23/first-blog-nomination/ keep blogging!
Very kind of you. Thanks so much!
I want to start by saying . . . if you’d rather not participate, I totally understand. I have declined in the past myself. It is kind of a pain in the arse. That said.
I’m awarding you the Versatile Blogger Award because I like your blog and think others will too. As with everything in life, there are strings attached. 1) You are to give the award to 15 other bloggers you feel are deserving and notify them of the award. 2) Make a post thanking the person that gave you the award (moi’) and listing your 15 choices. Provide links to these 16 blogs in your post. 3) Lastly, in your post, list seven things the bloggy world doesn’t know about you.
I dont know how to link the graphic for your blog. Maybe you can save it from mine? Or tell me how to link it haha
Personally, I had trouble with it, so feel free to contact me if you need help.
The bottom line . . . whether you participate or not . . . I think you have a rockin’ blog.
Thanks, I’m very flattered… and unfortunately far too lazy to follow up on this. 🙂
Hello! I chose you for the Versatile award, take a look 🙂 http://thecurvyspine.wordpress.com/2011/12/05/the-versatile-blogger/
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Thanks for all the great writing you do. Your sense of humor and caring really come across in each post.
Thanks so much for the comment. I really appreciate when people take the time to write something nice like this.
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Do you respond to personal emails?
Sure. Not sure if you have my email address, so I’ll write you first.
I do not. So, thank you!
My name is Conor Clary and I am the co-founder of http://www.RainbowChronicle.com, the only website which allows users to rate any person, business or event according to its gay friendliness.
I am a fan of yours and know that you care deeply about the LGBT community so I thought I would reach out in an attempt to catch your attention.
My co-founder and I created this site in response to the spate of gay suicides in the summer of 2010. Our site is dedicated to highlighting open and accepting businesses and individuals and calling out those that act out of bigotry. We display all of our user driven ratings on a map which gives at risk members of the LGBT community, established individuals and allies quite literally a road map for navigating homophobia and acceptance in their area.
We launched about 2 months ago and are just trying to get the word out. We thought you might be interested in the site..
Thank you so much,
Your blog is absolutely hilarious. I discovered it today and so far I have laughed, cried and followed you everywhere else on the internet because it’s nice to finally read something I can relate to. I’m twenty now, but I grew up with gay parents (lesbians, but there are some surprising similarities) and a lot of the adventures you have with your family take me back to when I was Sutton’s age! Keep up the brilliant work!
Adorable pic! And love your writing style!
I know you probably get this all the time, but I’ve nominated you for the Versatile Blogger Award. You can check it out here. Thanks for supporting Raising a Realist!
Thanks, Scott! I’m a fan of your blog, too, so I really appreciate it.
You’ve been nominated! Check it out: http://stayathometatte.wordpress.com/2012/03/19/award-innundation/
Thanks! Like you, I’m too much of a procrastinator to do my thank you/pay it forward post in a timely manner, so until then, thank you!
I just stumbled upon your blog today while looking for other stay-at-home Dad blogs, to see what other Dad’s have learned in their time at home. I have to say, I love your writing style and the voice with which you write! I love telling stories, funny and otherwise about my 1-year old daughter on my blog, as well. Feel free to check it out, http://papabrownie.wordpress.com/. Keep up the great stories and I’ll be following your blog from now on!
Hey, Nick. Thanks for the kind words. I like your blog, too. Thanks for bringing it to my attention. Hope you’ll start posting more often! 🙂
Hey, Jerry. Thanks so much! I’m trying to get more posts up more often, even though I’m not currently a stay-at-home dad since I went back to work.
Thanks so much for having this blog! It’s fabulous and has made a permanent place in my blogroll, where it belongs 🙂 Anyone that fabulous needs to be on every LGBT person’s blogroll 🙂
Thanks! Good luck being the first gay president! Let me know when you’re having your first fundraiser! 🙂
Thanks so much for the well wishes! I will definitely let you know!! I’m assuming I will make quite the media buzz, so I may not have to tell you myself. Hope Bennett, Sutton, and Drew are doing well!
Just in case you think you’re not as awesome as we all know you are, I have nominated you for the TMI Award: “And the TMI Award Goes To…” http://wp.me/p1ex8U-RO
Thanks, Pink. You really are too kind to me! 🙂
Thank YOU for reminding us to be kind to ourselves. 😀 You really do deserve this award, kudos to you and your family! 😀
Greetings! Just letting you know that I’ve nominated you for the Kreativ Blogger Award because I have enjoyed reading your blog and the entertainment it has provided.
If you wish to accept you must follow a few simple rules, thank the blogger who has nominated you, tell your readers about you and pass on the honor to some of your favorite bloggers.
The award won’t make you rich or famous, in fact it means nothing more than someone appreciates your writing, but it is the thought that counts.
Hi Gay Super Dad – We have a similar family with 2 year old triplets and a five your old. Love your blogg… You are our hero!
Wow, this news article about the three or five I should say of you, is absolutely AMAAZing and sooo beautiful. I think I will use this article to demonstrate the power of love (yes, cheesy Celine Dion I know). Wow.. amazing.. a movie! Wow..
Love your blog. So glad I discovered you via WordPress. New subscriber here. Parent on!
Welcome aboard, Diane. Can’t wait to check out your blog!
Subscribed. Loved your Dad-scrimination post. Glad to see that long form writing on blogs is still around!
This is so on target! My father wasn’t a stay at home father per se (both my parents worked my entire childhood)–but he was the one who picked up my sister and I after school (my mother was with us in the mornings and saw us off with the family we carpooled with). So he was the one driving us to ballet classes (he also learned how to make a ballet bun!) or horseback riding lessons or to play dates.
We never got weird looks. But one day when he was dropping off the kids of the other family we carpooled with at their house, he got asked by a neighbor if he was the family’s chauffeur! It was rather hilarious.
Yeah… your NYT article made me tear up… being a mom has turned me into a total wimp
I just found your blog and I have to say I really like it so far. I use to be a stay at home of three kids that were all a year apart so I know how crazy it can be. I look forward to reading more of your blogs!
I’m way too serious of a writer (and father), so I’m jealous of your light-hearted humor. However, LOL aside, you are expressing what many fathers feel—me included and the laughter and smiles are appreciated.
My seriousness as a father seems to have driven my gay son away from me. I haven’t heard from him for years. He’s in his thirties now. After the divorce, his mother was more of an influence in his life than I was—she pushed self esteem big and I didn’t (I was more old school and the disciplinarian)—and after he turned 18 and graduated from high school, any relationship we had ended and I did see him weekends anymore during those years after the divorce. She also supported his dream of becoming an actor, while I tried to get him to have a back up plan too.
I couldn’t be a stay at home dad since I was a public school teacher (at the time) and usually taught summers, I wasn’t free to spend as much time with him as I wanted. My work weeks were usually 60 to 100 hours a week. Even at home I was correcting papers, planning lessons and doing grades. Teaching English, journalism and literacy is a demanding job.
When my son was barely a teen, he asked me if he was “gay” and we had a long conversation about it on our drive to school one day, which is another story—I pulled over to the side of the road and we talked. I told him I’d love him regardless of his sexual orientation (he may not remember that talk now). I never imagined that when he became a legal adult, he would drop me as a father. I paid child support for fifteen years, daily drove him to the school district where I taught for several years after he was tossed out of two schools near where his mother and stepfather lived (who according to my son’s words used a belt to discipline him), and offered to help him through college (he decided not to go college yet he was an honor’s student in gifted classes). Instead, he chased a Hollywood acting dream, which hasn’t materialized yet, and works as a waiter or bartender somewhere in the US—he seems to move often from city to city or state to state.
The one time he came to see me on his own was after he graduated from high school, I was in the hospital after my appendix burst, and all he did was ask if I could help him make some connections in Hollywood so he could make it as an actor (was he afraid I might die and he’d miss a connection?). Although both my wife and I are successful authors (my success came later than her and she is still much more successful than I am) and most of my wife’s work has been optioned for film, we didn’t really have any of the contacts he must have imagined we had so I couldn’t help him. That was the last time I saw him in person, which was about a decade ago.
I feel that your children will be lucky to have you as their stay at home father.
Love them and do not be afraid to say no when that word is needed. No is not that bad of a word.
Hey Jerry. I realize I only just started following your blog, but for what it’s worth, I’ve nominated you for the Lovely Blog Award. You can find details on my latest post if your interested. At the very least, you should know that I very much enjoy your blog and am looking forward to your next post. 🙂
Great read Jerry…my hats off to ya’ brother!
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Thanks, Jarryd! I may not do a post of my own, but I really appreciate the nomination!
Hi Jerry! I just want to say that i’m a big fan of your blog and your writing!
I’ve nominated you for the “very inspiring blogger” award 🙂
here you go: http://brownponytail.wordpress.com/2012/06/27/very-inspiring-blogger-award/
Hi! Just stopping by to let you know I nominated you for the ‘One Lovely Blog’ award. 😀
I just wanted to let you know that I nominated you for a ‘Blog on Fire’ award!
Thanks! I’m honored to be aflame! 🙂
Hi Jerry, I’m awarding you the Courageous Blogger Award – http://thesouthernstrip.com/2012/08/26/courageous-blogger-lemme-at-em-lemme-at-em/ – love your words and the message. Keep up the great work and look forward to seeing your book on the shelves one day soon!
Hey! I just found my way to your blog but I think it is totally Generally Awesome, therefore I am awarding you with the Saggy Award for General Awesomeness. http://thegoodthebadandthesaggy.wordpress.com/2012/09/19/thank-yous-and-lots-of-general-awesomeness/ Stay awesome.
Thanks! Very kind of you. Can’t wait to check out your blog!
I hope you do. Thanks!
love your blog! xx
Best book title ever, I sincerely hope you stick with it. Just wanted to say that I genuinely love your blog. Since my blog (and many others I read) have a less pleasant subject matter, I enjoy having the opportunity to break up my experience here on WordPress with the smiles I get from reading yours and others like you.
Thanks. I’m really glad you like the book title. I’ve been wrestling with it a lot lately, need to make up my mind soon. And thanks for blogging your own way. I’m sure the less pleasant subject matter scares some potential readers away, but it’s good that you’re getting your truth out there.
Just starting our journey! Looking forward to following yours! Love the tittle of the memoirs!
You said “tittle”. Teehee! Oh, and thanks! Good luck on your journey!
I just read your article Mom/Not Mom/Aunt. LOVED it. Beautifully written.
Thanks so much!
I really enjoy this blog, and I loved your 9 Unwritten Rules for the Playground – sounds like you have some pretty fun kids! We published an article today about stay at home dads that you might find interesting: http://themwordmag.wordpress.com/2012/10/23/stay-at-home-dads/ Have a look and let us know what you think!
The M Word: themwordmag.wordpress.com
This is for Loyd Lofthouse. If you love your son, keep trying to find him. You might be supprised by how re reacts to you. I’ll bet he misses you too. Its never too late to try to love someone.
Love your blog! Very well written! I’m excited to learn more about gaybies! Let me know when your book comes out! Do my exclamation marks make me look excessively hyper!
Thanks! I really appreciate the comment, and don’t worry, when my book gets published, I’ll make sure the whole world knows. 😉
Now that’s really such an important read! A lot of people are blogging these days (and that includes myself) and it’s kinda rare to find something interesting and educational as well. A story like yours is just something that you don’t easily forget… Cherish every moment with those babies! They grow up too fast! All the best! 🙂
Thanks so much! I’m glad you found my blog and that you’re enjoying my story. I’m definitely cherishing my time with the kids. I love every second of it!
Please add me to your mailing list so I can follow along.
I put your email on the list. I think you’ll get a confirmation email now, so just follow the instructions. Thanks for following!
Thank you for sharing your life’s observations!! It is a blessing to know that I am not alone on the wacky winding path of parenting!
Thanks, Julie! Glad you can relate!
Just came across your blog. Looking forward to reading lots more.
just came across your blog and am sitting at work trying not to laugh to loudly at the “5 things that P*** me off” story. Loving it. I am also a parent to 3.5 year old twins – ours were born in October 2009, so are just a little younger than your guys. Am still waiting for the promised land – that is, the land where its supposed to get easier as they get older! Looking forward to reading more
Someone wise with older twins once told me it gets easier… then it gets harder again… then easier… then harder. 3 years old is definitely a harder phase. My sympathies! 🙂
Hey, I nominated you for a Versatile Blogger Award. Find more info here -> http://myblogexactly.wordpress.com/2013/04/02/im-a-versatile-blogger/
You had me with your sites banner graphic. Can’t wait to read more of your posts. I think you may be one of my regular parent bloggers.
You had me at Poop On My Hands. Best. Blog name. Ever.
why thank you. as i am sure can relate from being a super dad, it comes from experience.
I’ve just commented (at the very bottom of a zillion comments) on your Modern Family thinks my family is creepy post. My wife and I are TTC the same way you did…her brother is our donor. And I’m sure I don’t need to explain to you which one of us will be the gestational mother lol. I look forward to following your blog from now on.
I just nominated you for a Sunshine Award. http://sandbagheart.wordpress.com/2013/05/03/sunshine-award/
Keep up the great parenting!
Found your blog today… I have gone around this and the NYT column. Enjoyed both. Beautifully full of love. Thanks!
Reading this blog makes me seriously happy!
Wonderful and delighted by your real life blog. I love to hear about parenting, writing and other details of what I like to call a roller coaster of life. Thanks for sharing your precious love ones. Have a wonderful day, Allie.
Thanks, Allie. You too!
Precious picture of the three of you!!!
I think your blog is great! You always keep me laughing! I’ve nominated you for the Versatile Blogger Award. You can check out the details on my post. http://capedavenger26.wordpress.com/2013/07/30/779/
Just read your NYT article and love the story. I completely understand Susie’s decision and determination. When my older sister and her spouse were struggling with infertility I offered them my eggs and/or my uterus. I was single at the time, but in my prime dating years, and people couldn’t understand how I would even consider doing this. For me it wasn’t even a question. If she needed them, she’d have them. Fortunately they were able to manage a medical marvel on their own.
I just hit the follow button – I’m looking forward to it!
I’ve been reading your blog for a little while and nominated you for some awards:
Very Inspiring blogger award
One lovely blog award
The versatile blogger award
The sunshine award
The best moment award
I’ve put them all in one post but if you’ve received one or some of the before, feel free to break the group back in individual awards.
I hope you enjoy them.
Let me apologize up front that I come with no blog award nominations. Literally did the virtual stumble to your blog. Glad I did. Great stuff man.
My parents would probably have my head if they knew I read this blog, but hey! Life is hard and then you die (or something to that effect) might as well fill my head with as many positions on as many issues as possible.
Very cool experience, your blog looks like a lot of fun. Looking forward to following.
I just recently came across your blog and I immediately selected the follow button. Love it! love your writing and your sense of humor…good work.
Thanks. I love getting comments like this. Glad you like the blog, and I hope you find more here to enjoy.
I’ve been lost in this wonderful blog for the last hour, I can’t wait to come back but alas it’s away to bed for me. It doesn’t get any easier when they get older, up tomorrow to make my 3 gorgeous daughters their lunch for school and beat my husband out of the bed to drive them there. See you at 9am if not before… 🙂
Touching story… I love it! Thank u for sharing!
Hey Jerry, I wanted you to know I nominated you for the Versatile Blogger Award, hope you don’t mind. Check it out here: http://wp.me/p3Iwib-8Y. Keep up the great blog posts!
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I am also a gay superdad and I just discovered your blog! You are amazing and I can’t wait to read more!!!!!!
Hi, great blog. We’ve just started one that we think parents will enjoy. We’d be very grateful if you’d have a look. It’s a place for people to send in witticisms from their old school reports. . .
I’ve always like to see a blog that is all about having fun with love and respect for all, because some of the less fortunate among us especially in the LBGT community still have an up-hill battle. http://mydocvu.com/2014/11/19/611/
Hi there! Just wanted you to know that I think your blog is great and I have nominated you for The Versatile Blogger Award! (no pressure to accept) Take a peek: http://wp.me/p5queU-5Y
~Lisa @ Cuppa Sunshine & Sugar
Hi Jerry! This is my first visit to your blog, and I’ve already enjoyed several of your posts and can’t wait to read more!! 🙂
Thanks, Jen! Welcome!
Hi Jerry, I hope that you and your family is doing great. Just wanted to let you know that you have a great blog. your style of writing makes a person fall in love with your article.Looking forward to read more. All the best (Y)
Thanks so much for writing. Glad you like the blog!
Hey Jerry! I’m a 23 year old living in Dallas, Texas and I absolutely love your blog. This is my first time reading it and can’t wait to read your book. I hope all is well with you and your family and can’t wait to have one of my own one day! Cheers!
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Really really really love the blog. If you didn’t have enough publicity, I nominated you for an award: https://ch4rl13sm1th.wordpress.com/2015/05/17/i-won-an-award/
Have a wonderful weekend 🙂
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I am glad I stumbled upon your blog – I will be reading more! 🙂
I would just like to let you know that I have nominated you for the WordPress Family Award cos I think your blog is AWESOME!! 😀