New! Book Trailer for Buttheads from Outer Space!

Looking for a way to tell your friends about that funny new book with the aliens who speak in farts and have butts on their noggins? Well hey, lookee here! Now there’s a book trailer for BUTTHEADS FROM OUTER SPACE!

It’s all the fun of the back cover of the book, without all that pesky reading. (OK, there’s still reading… but on a screen!)

Watch, enjoy… and as my kids say when they make their YouTube videos (and even when they’re not making YouTube videos, come to think of it), “Share, like, comment and subscribe. Thanks, guys!”

 

Just a Couple of Gay Dads at Disney World – A MAGICAL UPDATE!

SevenDwarfsMineTrainFour years ago, I wrote about my first trip to Disney World with my husband Drew and our kids. It was something I’d always wanted to do, and it so far exceeded my expectations that I pretty much decided that any time we got to take a family vacation, we’d go back. As I said back then, the best part of our trip was meeting Cinderella’s Fairy Godmother, because she was so unbelievably sweet to us and our kids.

That post went semi-viral, and we heard from lots of Disney fans and cast members past and present as a result. Many of them had their own wonderful stories about the Fairy Godmother and how charming she was. A couple of people said they’d pass my post along to her and make sure she got a chance to read the nice things I’d said about her. But I had no idea whether she ever actually read it or even heard about it.

Two years ago, we took our second family trip to Disney World, and this time, there was nothing we were looking forward to more than seeing our old friend.

Sadly, though, she was nowhere to be found.

AnastasiaBennett

Anastasia: “Does he have money?” Me: “We’re at Disney World, aren’t we?”

We asked lots of cast members about her, but no one knew for sure what had happened to her. There were rumors she’d been let go or been sent off to the new Disneyland in Shanghai. Still, every day, we walked by Cinderella’s castle hoping she’d magically appear. We had a great trip, but we were sad when we had to leave without getting a chance to see her.

 

Last week, we took our kids to Disney World again for their spring break from school. This time, Drew and I tried not to get our hopes up. It seemed impossible that she would be there, and even if by some miracle she was, what were the odds she would remember us or my little blog post from four whole years earlier? It was half our kids’ lives ago, after all.

When we got to the Magic Kingdom, we checked the Disney app, which tells you where you can find every character in the park, but Fairy Godmother wasn’t listed. So the kids and I discussed which of the big-ticket rides we wanted to go to first: Peter Pan’s Flight or Seven Dwarfs Mine Train. Drew just shook his head. “Come on,” he said, leading us toward Cinderella’s castle.

He at least had to check.

Sherilyn

If you go to the Magic Kingdom, look for Miss Sherilyn around Fronteirland. Tell her Jerry and Drew said hi!

But the Fairy Godmother wasn’t there. Four or five times that day, we walked by the spot where we’d first met her, but she never showed up. We did meet some other awesome cast members like our new friend Sherilyn (pictured here) and a nice guy named Mikel who gave my kids a taste of the new Avatar ride when they were too nervous to go on it. Plus, Cinderella’s wicked stepsisters were a hoot. Anastasia was wicked in all the best ways. She told us how much she loved our family, and she even got engaged to our son Bennett. (After first checking that he had money, of course.)

 

Not that we ever had any doubt, but it was obvious that Fairy Godmother isn’t the only incredibly special person working for Disney. We knew we probably wouldn’t actually get to see the lady herself, but there were plenty of other people there to make our trip special.

MagicKingdomFireworks

Fireworks are loud

A few days later, we got to the park early for the opening ceremony. Just before the rope drop, music played and some characters came out for a song and dance to welcome us. The kids and I craned our necks to try to see through the crowd, but we only caught fleeting glimpses of some of the characters. “I think that’s Belle!” I said, though I wasn’t sure. “Or maybe Captain Hook?”

 

Then, Drew, the tallest of our smallish crew, pointed over the heads of a million tourists and said with perfect clarity, “There she is!”

“No!” I said. Of course, I knew exactly who he meant.

“Totally.”

I was still in denial. “The same one?”

“I think so.”

After that, roller coasters and teacups were not our priority. That whole morning, we kept walking past the castle in the fateful spot where we met the Fairy Godmother four years earlier.

… until at last, there she was.

It was her. The Fairy Godmother, taking pictures, signing autographs and interacting sweetly with little kids and their families.

We got in line, practically hyperventilating with excitement. “No way she’ll remember us,” I said.

“Then we’ll remind her,” Drew replied. He pulled up my blog post on his phone, and as we moved up through the line, we wondered what we were in for.

“Well, hello!” she said, when it was our turn. “Last time I saw you, it was over there!” She pointed across the walkway at a shady underpass near a gift shop.

“Yes!” Drew said. I didn’t remember at all, but apparently, she sometimes stood in a different spot. Could it be that she actually remembered our last meeting better than I did?

FairyGodmotherHug

She remembered us!

Well, she did. She gave us giant hugs, and she talked to us like it had only been a couple of days since we’d seen her, instead of four years. She told us she did see the blog post, and it meant so much to her. She said she thought about us often, because we were such a special family. My kids were dazzled, not just that she remembered us, but at how she got down and spoke to them like old friends, curious to hear all about them. Drew was so moved, he was in tears.

 

We spent a minute catching up, and I told her that since we last saw her, I’d written a book about Cinderella, My Rotten Stepbrother Ruined Cinderella. One of my favorite characters in it is Cinderella’s fairy godmother, who’s a little miffed that Cinderella didn’t get home by midnight like she was supposed to. The real Fairy Godmother couldn’t have been nicer and even told me she was going to pick up a copy. Then, we moved along, because Fairy Godmother is very popular and had plenty of other people to see. We hung out for a second and watched as she greeted all of the next guests as warmly as she did us and made them all feel just as special.

FairyGodmotherBook

Fairy Godmother with my book!

We couldn’t leave Orlando without seeing her one more time, so on our last day, we waited in line outside the castle again. This time, I  brought along a copy of my book to give her. She told our kids they were lucky to have such wonderful daddies and to be part of such a special family. She gave us each a hug and a kiss on the cheek and told us that she loved us.

 

When I wrote my original post four years ago, I thought maybe we got special treatment at Disney because we were gay dads. Well, I no longer think that’s the case. I don’t think we got special treatment because we were gay dads or because we were friendly or even because I’d written a blog post.

I still think being different brings with it wonderful benefits you can never imagine.

But not this.

This happened because we had the great fortune to meet a fairy godmother.

And because she is magic.

And I can’t wait to see her again when we go back in two years.

FairyGodmotherFamily

FairyGodmotherAutograph

* * * * *

Hey, did you know that in addition to the occasional post about being a gay dad, I write kids’ books? It’s true! Help me feed those adorable kids in the pictures above by checking out my website for my childrens’ writing and by visiting my author page on Amazon, Barnes & Noble or wherever you like to buy books. Hooray! Books!

My Rotten Books: Now Available Everywhere!

I had a great time reading and signing the MY ROTTEN STEPBROTHER books at the Burbank, CA Barnes & Noble. Best of all, the store sold out of 3 of the 4 titles! (I left two autographed copies of MY ROTTEN STEPBROTHER RUINED ALADDIN behind, so if you hurry, they might still be there!)

Best of all, the book is now in stock at Amazon and lots of other bookstores, too! I apologize to everyone who had to wait for their copies, but now the waiting is over for everyone!

Check these handy dandy buttons to see if your favorite retailer has them in stock.

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And if you’ve already read one or more of them, you can help spread the word by leaving a review at any of those places and/or at GoodReads.

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Cover Reveal: BUTTHEADS FROM OUTER SPACE!

I’m so excited to reveal the cover artwork for my next book, Buttheads From Outer Space! It’s the story of Lloyd and Josh, two sixth grade misfits who want nothing more than to meet aliens, and their wish comes true! The problem is, the aliens turn out to be total buttheads, in every sense. They talk in farts, they hog the XBox, they barf up Oreos everywhere. And now the guys can’t get them to leave. It’s outer space… in your face!

I’m pretty sure it’ll be heralded as the next great American novel.

It’ll be released in March 2018 from Sky Pony Press, and you can preorder it now at Amazon, Barnes & Noble or your favorite indie retailer! (And if it’s a bit too early for you, you can always mark it as “to-read” on Goodreads so you don’t forget about it.)

If you’re reading this the day I’m posting it, you may notice that none of those sites have the book cover image yet. But I do! And I’m showing it to my followers first, right here. Ready?

Here it is!

Buttheads From Outer Space cover

Coming March 2018!

This brilliance comes from illustrator Chris Garbutt. Yes, even our illustrator has “butt” in his name. It’s going to be that kind of book, everyone.

I can’t wait for you to read it!

In-Store Event This Saturday (8/19) in Burbank, CA!

IMG_5117There was such a great turnout on release day for my MY ROTTEN STEPBROTHER BOOKS release party at Anderson’s Book Shop that the store sold out of books! I understand Amazon has had trouble stocking and shipping the books as well, so my apologies to anyone who’s still waiting to get their hands on copies. But I have some good news for you…

If you live in Southern California, you can get any or all of the books this Saturday, August 19, 2017 from 2-4pm at the Barnes and Noble in Burbank! They’re fully stocked and ready to go, and I’ll be on hand to sign books, as well as to give out book cookies (a/k/a “bookies”), stickers, bookmarks and more!

It’s sure to be another fun day, so I hope to see you there!

It’s Twerk Time! Go go go!

suttoninshirt

Here you go! Your final, last minute reminder and nudge to take part in the My Rotten Stepbrother Release Extravaganza/Chart Twerk. If you’ve been waiting to buy your copies of one or more of these books, now’s the time.

Remember, the more people who buy at roughly this moment, the bigger the impact the books will make on their release day. So go to your favorite bookstore or online retailer or buy on Amazon to help me shoot up their sales charts.

Stop reading! Go go go!!!

Then, you know, start reading. The books are fun. You’re going to love them!

REMINDER: Tomorrow’s the Big Day, Twerkers!

maddieonly

That’s Maddie, the sweet stepsister at the heart of my MY ROTTEN STEPBROTHER books, and if she looks a bit miffed, it’s probably for one of two reasons. One, her rotten stepbrother Holden just broke another one of her favorite stories and now they have to go into the book to fix it. Or two, she’s annoyed because you forgot about tomorrow’s Rotten Release Day Chart Twerk!

As you may recall from when my memoir Mommy Man came out, this is when I shamelessly encourage everyone to buy my book at roughly the same time so that it’ll zoom up the charts and make people take notice.

So yes! You can help! Yes, you! Do you really want Maddie to make that face up there? Or would you rather see her stepbrother Holden make this face instead?

holdenonly

Well, to be honest, he makes that face every time Maddie gets annoyed, and we try not to encourage him, the little jerk.

But I’ll make that face if you go buy one or more of the books tomorrow. Then I’ll dance around and go “Wheee wheee wheee!” Then I’ll get tired and eat a cupcake.

If I haven’t convinced you yet, you can read more about the books here, but if you or anyone you know is 6-12 years old (or ever was), you’ll appreciate the snark and sweetness, not to mention the karate-chopping dwarfs. Then you’ll be the one with the smile on your face!

Mark your calendar, set your alarm or leave me a comment and I’ll email you when the time comes. Come on, you know you always wanted to twerk!

New Post on Scary Mommy Today!

My Rotten CookiesI’m so excited to be back on Scary Mommy. I have a new post up there today called It’s Time For Us To Embrace A New Kind of Fairy Tale. It’s all about what got me to write the My Rotten Stepbrother books, specifically the crummy examples most fairy tales set for girls. Check it out and let me know what you think!

And don’t forget… it’s just two days until the books come out and My Rotten Release Day Chart Twerk! Mark your calendars and order your copies at 12pm your local time, this Tuesday, August 1, 2017!

Finally, if you’re in the New York area, stop by my launch party at Anderson’s Book Shop in Larchmont on Tuesday, 8/1 at 6pm. There will be books, stickers, signings and adorable little cookies like the ones in the picture above. I’d love to see you there!

New book deal! New website!

buttheads-suttonart

That incredibly crude picture isn’t just to highlight my juvenile sense of humor. It’s also an announcement for my new kids book! In addition to the Rotten Stepbrother books, which will be published August 1, 2017 (so soon!), I’m happy to announce another middle grade novel in the pipeline, BUTTHEADS FROM OUTER SPACE!

(I’m very grateful to my 7-year-old daughter Sutton for the suggested artwork above. I imagine the publisher may ultimately go a different way, but I have to say, the kid gets me.)

The book is about two sixth-grade boys, Josh and Lloyd, who want to hang out with some fun aliens — and maybe enlist their help getting revenge on their rival Quentin. But their plan to show some E.T.s what a cool planet Earth is works too well, and soon the buttheads want to take over the planet. Oops. Now the boys are going to need to work with Quentin to stop them, or Earth is doomed!

Do you like fart jokes? Have you ever read the great classics of American literature — say perhaps “The Grapes of Wrath” or “For Whom the Bell Tolls” — and thought, “Not bad, but it could’ve used more fart jokes”? Well, good news. This book is for you!

The bad news is you’ll have to wait until Spring 2018 for this one to be published, by the fine, twisted minds at Sky Pony Press.

In the meantime, I hope you’ll check out my new website. Yes, a whole new website! For me! I figured it was a good idea to have a site just for my kids’ writing, which I could keep free of adult topics and swear words. (Fart jokes are totes a go, though!)

Even better, follow me on my new Facebook site for my middle grade writing. That’s probably the best way to keep in touch with me, since there’s no subscription option on the new writing site. (Apparently, when grown-ups collect emails from kids, it’s “creepy.”)

I may still post here on Mommy Man from time to time, but as you’ve probably guessed, kidlit is what takes up most of my time lately. It’s awesome writing books my kids can enjoy, especially when it gives me the chance to warp their minds directly, rather than letting Jeff Kinney and Dav Pilkey have all the fun.

* * * * *

The Rotten Stepbrother books are available for pre-order! I’ll probably arrange a chart twerk as it gets closer to the publication date, but if you can’t wait and you want to pre-order now, I won’t stop you!

Let’s Move “T” to the Front of LGBTQ

tlgbqIt’s pretty obvious that trans people need our help these days, so I suggest we update our acronym to TLGBQ as a show of support.

When I was in college in the early 90’s, I was still a few years away from coming out as gay, but I did notice when the campus’ main gay organization changed its name from the GLA (Gay & Lesbian Association) to the LGBC (Lesbian Gay Bisexual Coalition). They felt like the group was becoming too exclusive, and they wanted to make lesbians and bisexuals feel more welcome.

It was the right idea, but looking back now, it’s glaring that even in the reshuffling, the letter “T” didn’t find its way in there at the time. It’s only recently that T has become a permanent fixture of LGBTQ. I won’t go into the debate about whether transgender rights should be considered part of gay rights. As far as I’m concerned, it’s settled. They should be, and they are, and if you disagree, you can go form your own movement, because there’s no room for transphobia in mine.

Let’s remember who fought back at Stonewall. Some of the most prominent protesters were transgender women like Marsha P. Johnson and Sylvia Rivera. The L’s, G’s and B’s of that period in history, in most cases, were happy to blend in or live in the shadows or the closet. Trans people, on the other hand, refused to or couldn’t fit in, and at some point, they’d had it with being abused and marginalized. As far as I’m concerned, we’re lucky they let us join their movement.

And what have us cisgender LGBQ’s done to thank them and show them our support? Well, at some point, we tacked a “T” onto our acronym and started including them in our nondiscrimination laws.

It’s not enough.

Especially today, when trans rights are under attack, we need to do everything we can to let transgender people know we have their backs and we’re going to fight for them the way they’ve always fought for us.

It’s disgusting that Donald Trump has taken away protections for trans students. There’s no question what this shameful move will do to trans kids across the country:

It will kill them.

It will drive more trans students toward suicide suicide and embolden bullies to attack them even more than they already do. We’ve seen how the anti-Semitism in Trump’s administration has led to a rise in anti-Semitic harassment (which Trump refuses to adequately condemn).

The same goes for Muslims and immigrants, who this administration has come after as well. There’s no doubt that an increase in transphobic attacks is on the horizon.

And then which group is next?

Would any of us be surprised if it’s the rest of the LGBTQ community?

Still, it’s clear which members of our community they’ve chosen to attack first, who they consider the most vulnerable and the easiest to defeat. Let’s not give them any impression that trans rights are in any way an afterthought to our movement. Let’s put our trans allies right up front.

TLGBQ

Sure, the people who already make fun of our cumbersome acronym will have a field day.

Let them.

They’ll do all the publicity for us, and we can focus on calling our representatives to support TLGBQ rights and fighting the government in court.

TLGBQ

Start using it now.

Do it to thank the trans community for giving birth to the movement.

Do it because they need our support.

Do it to show the bullies in our government that if they want to come for trans rights, they’re going to have to go through all of us, and we’re going to stand together and fight like Hell.