More Mommy Man Selfies!

I’m getting more and more selfies on my Facebook page. If you haven’t posted yours yet, please do. I’d love to see you holding my book, and at the end of May, I’ll send out an autographed copy to whoever did the most fun picture. (It doesn’t technically have to be a selfie, but it doesn’t hurt.)

In the meantime, here are some more of the people in “Mommy Man” holding “Mommy Man”. If you were wondering what some of the people I talk about look like, now you know! (See some others in this post from last week.)

And don’t forget. “Mommy Man” makes a great Mother’s Day gift. And Amazing Chart Twerk 2 takes place this Thursday, May 8, the book’s official release day. Buy your copy as close to 12pm EST as you can, so we can sit back and watch it zoom up the charts.

Now, on to the selfies!

First up, one of the main players in the book, our surrogate Tiffany (a/k/a What’s-Her-Womb). Here she is with her no-longer-so-little son Gavin.

tiffanygavinbookNext up, the guy who was totally cool with us borrowing his wife’s ladyparts for 9 months, Tiffany’s husband Eric (also with Gavin).

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My sister, Kathy, flew out from across the country to be part of our baby shower, and she was with me the next day when I got a very disturbing phone call. Kathy was tired of waiting for her online order to arrive, so as soon as she saw that Barnes & Noble had them in stock, she ran out with two of her daughters, Bridget and Megan, to pick one up.

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If you’ve read my book, you may remember my friend Adam. He’s mentioned briefly on page 47, after my rotten April Fool’s prank, saying that he would never be happy for me again. Well, Adam is a man of his word, apparently. Here he is not being happy for me while reading the book.

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If you haven’t ordered your copy of “Mommy Man” yet, mark your calendar for Thursday, May 8, 12pm EST and twerk with the rest of us! Then post your own selfie to my Facebook wall!

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I know this might not be the best post to share with people who are unfamiliar with this blog, but if you like what you’ve read here, now would be a great time to share one of my old posts. The scroll bar at the top of the screen shows some of my favorite posts from the past. Anything that helps bring people to the page helps sell books, so if you’re in a sharing mood, share away!

Also, if you’ve already read “Mommy Man”, I hope you’ll consider writing a review. I already have one 5-star review on Amazon, a 4.62 rating on GoodReads (7 out of 9 ratings have been 5-star), and you could be the first to review me on Barnes & Noble.

WOW! 10 Shocking Revelations You Can Read Only in “Mommy Man: The Book”!!!

OK, maybe my book isn’t quite tabloid fodder deserving of a headline like that, but if you think it’s some dry how-to guide about surrogacy or gay daddyhood, you’re way off. Publisher’s Weekly called it “uproarious” and “touching,” and Tim Carvell of “The Daily Show” and “Last Week Tonight With John Oliver” said, “Mommy Man belongs on the same shelf with Dan Savage and David Sedaris, unless you’re one of those weirdos who sort your books alphabetically.”

Maybe you think because you read this blog that you already know my whole story? I promise, you don’t, and if you like what you read here, you’ll love the book even more.

I spent two years of my life writing this book, because I knew I had a great story to tell, full of surprises, sweetness and humor, and I wanted to share it with people (and someday, when they’re older, with my kids).

What’s now hitting bookstore shelves near you is a comedic memoir about my life, starting when I was a closeted gay kid who never thought he’d be a dad and ending over 20 years later when (spoiler alert!) I’m a dad. Along the way, it’s full of funny stories, awkward confessions and tons of unexpected little tidbits. Here are just a few topics you’ll read about in my book:

1. Which popular and beloved 80s teen films shoved me further back into the closet as a kid.

2. How MTV’s The Real World brought Drew and me together.

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3. How American Idol almost caused us to break up.

4. Which shocking celebrity scandal I predicted two years before the news actually broke.

5. How you could kinda say this guy was my first:

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6. Which celebrity left a weepy voicemail on Drew’s phone that we played over and over for laughs.

wrestling

sarahpalin27. Why I will always associate Sarah Palin with homoerotic wrestling videos.

8. The worst thing you can possibly say to a woman who’s just donated eggs, and which completely unexpected person said it to Susie.

9. How a trip to Disneyland found us a surrogate, and how another trip there almost got our kids lifetime passes.

10. The absolutely astounding and even more selfless thing Susie has done since donating eggs for me and Drew.

“Mommy Man” is the fun, feel-good read everyone always says they’re looking for and can never find. Don’t take my word for it. Read the endorsements from Scary Mommy, Baby Sideburns, Stefanie-Wilder Taylor of “Sippy Cups Are Not for Chardonnay” and more!

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Mother’s Day is less than one week away, but Mommy Man Day is even closer! This Thursday, May 8, is the official release day of my book, “Mommy Man: How I Went From Mild-Mannered Geek to Gay Superdad.” Hmmm… have I mentioned that already? To celebrate, I’m orchestrating my official Chart Twerk 2. If you haven’t already bought your copy, I ask that you buy one on Thursday, as close to 12pm EST as possible. It can be online or at your favorite bookstore. If a bunch of people buy at the same time, the book has a good chance of making an impact on the sales charts. How high can it go? Top 1,000? Top 100? I can’t wait to find out!

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I’ll be tweeting a bunch around the book’s release, so now’s a great time to make sure you’re following me on Twitter and Facebook!

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Do you really want to help me out? Share this post (or one of your favorite Mommy Man posts from the past) on your social networks using the handy share buttons below. Post a selfie of you holding your copy of “Mommy Man” to my Facebook wall, and you could win an autographed copy. If you’ve already read the book, write a review on Amazon, GoodReads, Barnes & Noble or wherever you prefer to review books.

5 Reasons to Give Your Mother “Mommy Man” this Mother’s Day

MommyManMothersDay1. Because she’s a raging homophobe, and my book will really piss her off.

2. Because you’re gay, and she’s afraid you’re never going to give her any grandkids.

3. Because she’s already laughed her ass off at Scary Mommy’s and Baby Sideburns’ books, and she wants to read something endorsed by both of those awesome ladies.

4. Because families are families, and if she loves her family, she’ll love reading about mine.

5. Because it has “Mommy” in the title, and that’s more thought than most people give to their Mother’s Day gifts.

Want to buy it? It’s not hard! “Mommy Man” is now back in stock on Amazon, as well as Barnes & Noble, IndieBound and pretty much everywhere. See more ordering options here. But hurry! Mother’s Day will be here soon!

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If you don’t mind waiting until the very last minute, then join my Amazing Chart Twerk 2 by ordering or picking up a copy of “Mommy Man” on Thursday, May 8 as close to 12pm Eastern Time as you can.

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Once Mom has the book, upload a picture of her holding it to the official Mommy Man Facebook page and you might win another copy you can keep for yourself!

A Big Day For Me and Bennett

 

booksbooksbooksYesterday was a rough day. Bennett had to have surgery, which means we had our hands full… with Sutton. (Parenting note: the healthy kid is always more trouble than the sick kid. Always.) I understand that, at 4 years old, it’s hard to see your twin getting so much attention, almost as hard as it is being a parent and having to hold back from screaming, “Your brother is about to get cut open! Let him have this moment!”

In a lapse of parenting judgment, I ended up promising her a toy if she could chill out. On the plus side, she chilled out. Mostly. Eh, I’ll buy her a crappy toy. I didn’t promise anything nice.

I’ve been saying for a while now that potty training is the hardest thing I’ve had to do as a parent. Well, after yesterday, I’m going to give the #2 slot to watching my little boy get knocked out by gas in an operating room, assuring him that everything would be fine and that Other Daddy and I would both be there when he woke up.

He handled it like a champ, drifting off to sleep calmly as he stared trustingly into our eyes, with very little idea of what was actually about to happen. It’s always the really hard moments as a parent that also remind me why I love having kids so much. Bennett couldn’t quite understand what was happening, but because his dads were with him, he felt safe.

The surgery went great. He was up and wolfing down ice pops in no time, and by the end of the day, we were out of the hospital, celebrating at McDonald’s, where Bennett ate more food than I’ve ever seen him eat in one sitting in his life.

When we got home, there were balloons and flowers at the door, and a giant cardboard box.

A box full of books.

“Do you guys know what this is?” I asked the kids.

“It’s your book!” Bennett cheered.

It was, in fact, a lot of my books.

It was just like you always dream it will be as a writer. You cut open a box and all you see are copies of your own book staring back at you. I’m not sure exactly how many copies were in there. However many I was contractually obligated to receive, I guess, but  I haven’t counted. It feels like a million. Like a bottomless box of books. And all I can think is, “What am I going to do with all these books?” Am I supposed to read them all? Pass them out to strangers? Are they just going to sit in my basement like this, a big box of books, always kept in pristine condition, their bindings never cracked?

Then, I had another thought: I should order more.

At the same time, I started getting emails from friends. Amazon had notified people who preordered that the books arrived early and would be shipped out in the next few days. Soon, lots of people will have my book.

The timing couldn’t have been better. After a long, draining day, we had something else to celebrate.

And of course, as the spotlight shifted to me, Sutton was ridiculously jealous once again.

Bwahahahaha!

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Yes! Books are coming soon! Don’t forget to order yours! Or better yet, join in my Amazing Chart Twerk 2, which is still set for the official release day of May 8.

Just a Couple of Gay Dads at Disney World

snowwhite2Last week, I did something I never thought I’d do. I went to Disney World as a dad.

The last time I’d been there, I was pretty much still a kid myself — 20 years old and just coming to terms with being gay. Everywhere I looked in Orlando, I saw dads. They were buckling their kids into the Dumbo ride and hoisting them onto their shoulders to watch the Main Street Electrical Parade. They all had big smiles on their faces, and they all had wives.

With that visit, Disney World became Exhibit A of what I was sacrificing by coming out of the closet.

Or so I thought.

I’ve written a whole book about how I got from that point to fatherhood, and I’m happy to say that twenty years in the future, life looks a lot better than I ever expected it would. As soon as Drew and I felt the kids were old enough to appreciate a Disney vacation, we booked our trip.

I had just a tinge of nerves as the four of us headed for the airport. We’re never more visible as a family than when we travel. Nothing says “We file taxes jointly” as clearly as sharing a Lion King suite in a Disney hotel. And I doubt any place in America draws such a cross-section of Americans as Orlando. I was sure we’d bump into some people who wouldn’t find our family… let’s say, family-friendly.

We’d barely stepped through the front door of our hotel when an eager employee — er, I mean cast member — strolled up to us and asked if we needed to check in.

“Well, I was told I’d get a text when our room was ready, and it hasn’t come yet,” I told him.

“Hmmm, let me see,” he said. He took down my name and disappeared behind the check-in desk.

A minute later, he was back. “You haven’t been assigned a room yet, but I’m going to talk to my manager and get that taken care of right away! Just sit tight!”

We watched him approach his manager, and Drew whispered to me. “I think we’re getting the family treatment, if you know what I mean.”

Of course I knew what he meant. The cast member who was helping us was gay (“family”) himself, so he was being extra nice to us. Moments later, we were upstairs in a fantastic room on the top floor.

Though I’d planned all our meal reservations months in advance (which you have to do if you want to eat at the good spots), I needed to make a change to one. I was not optimistic I’d be able to get what I wanted, but I picked up our hotel phone and dialed the reservation line.

“So this is for you and… Andrew?” the man on the other end asked, reading my information off his computer.

“Yes.”

“And are you celebrating anything today?”

“Well, it’s our anniversary, actually.” (We hadn’t specifically planned to be at Disney World for the occasion, but a lot of big life events seem to end up happening on the same day Drew and I met 11 years ago.)

“Aw!” he said. I realized that once again, we were getting the family treatment. He fixed my reservation and waived the change fee.

It’s then that I realized something that would become even clearer to me throughout our vacation: a LOT of gay people work at Disney World. And as I’ve already learned, gay people love to see gay parents. Thanks to them and all the other wonderful people who work at the Magic Kingdom, I felt completely safe at Disney and never had any second thoughts about whether my family belonged there.

mulansuccessWe spent our vacation like pretty much everyone else. We dined with everyone from Donald Duck to Tigger to Stitch to Sleeping Beauty. We stalked Mulan through Epcot’s China pavilion so the kids could get her autograph, camping out on a tip that she was going to make a surprise appearance. (Success!) We spent roughly half our kids’ college funds on Disney merchandise.

It was awesome.

Instead of feeling self-conscious about our family, we felt… well, special.

As we stood on Main Street waiting for a lunch reservation one day, a cast member approached us in character and said, “You have a beautiful family! The four of you, I love this.” She pointed at each of us, just so we knew for sure that she understood exactly what kind of family we had.

fairygodmotherOur kids felt like celebrities, because everyone from the White Rabbit to Princess Tiana treated them rock stars. They got picked to take part in shows, Mike Wazowski read Bennett’s joke during the Monsters, Inc. show, and the characters at Disney restaurants didn’t want to leave our table. No one was more awesome than Cinderella’s Fairy Godmother. We stood in line one day to get her autograph, and the next day, she spotted us during the park’s opening ceremony. “I remember you guys!” she called out to us. “Come see me later!”

Of course, we did, and she greeted us like old friends. This was a woman who probably spoke to hundreds of families a day, but precisely because we were a little bit different, she remembered us. It made me realize once again that it’s better to stand out than to blend in.

Any fears I had about people reacting negatively to our family were unfounded. As I’ve noted in other posts, the nice people we come into contact with tend to be extra-nice to us, and the homophobes are at least polite enough to stay out of our way.

There’s no way to say this without sounding cheesy or like some Disney shill (which I’m not — no one has paid me for this post!), but the best word I can think of to describe our trip was “magical.”

Becoming a dad was a major life victory for me, but it was hardly the last one. It’s been followed by innumerable others, the most recent of which came last week, when I took my family to Disney World, just like anyone else.

And it was even better than I’d imagined.

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If you’re a regular reader, you may already know to skip the part after the asterisks, because you’ve probably already subscribed to my blog and followed me everywhere else, too — and geez, when’s he going to stop asking? Those of you who are still reading — what are you waiting for? Subscribe, like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter — and hey, as long as I’m shamelessly groveling, why not mark my book as “to read” on GoodReads? That’d be swell.

So What If My Kids Are Gay?

ourfamilyI forget sometimes what outdated attitudes still linger outside of this nice little gay-friendly bubble in which I spend most of my life. Earlier this week, I recorded a podcast called Dadsaster. The topic was Gay Dads, and I was the gay dad they interviewed. I was a little surprised to discover that after interviewing me, the hosts were set to question a member of the anti-gay Family Research Council, as if “Gay Dads” was a topic that required a pro-and-con debate.

To me, the only thing anyone needs to ask the FRC is, “Why can’t you lay off gay dads, you obsessive creeps?” Maybe that was on their question list. I’m not sure.

What really surprised me was when the hosts, two straight dads — who were very polite and respectful, I should point out — said, “One of the questions people have is, are your kids more likely to be gay because they’re being raised by gay parents?”

It’s a question you hear all the time, which is what’s so maddening about it, because it’s a very easily answered question. Plenty of gays before me have explained very patiently and intelligently that they grew up with straight parents, but they still turned out gay, so why would anyone assume that my kids are going to be gay just because their parents are? That’s exactly the answer I found myself giving, yet I’m sure there are still plenty of people who will willfully choose to ignore that logic.

So now, with two days’ distance from the discussion, I’d like to offer another, more decisive answer to the question of whether my kids are more likely to turn out gay.

So what if they are?

The host prefaced his question by saying, “I don’t think it’s homophobic to suggest this.”

Wrong.

That’s exactly what it is, because the implication behind it is that it’s somehow bad or undesirable if your kids turn out gay. As a kid who turned out gay, I refuse to accept that.

Let’s say, despite all common sense, that gay parents were more likely to raise gay kids. So does that mean we shouldn’t be allowed to have families? Because the world would have — gasp — more gay people as a result? Nevermind that these would be happy, well-adjusted gay people raised by loving families. Just the fact that they were gay would suggest to some people that they weren’t parented properly.

And that’s not a homophobic position?

If we’re ever going to move beyond homophobia, we need to get over the notion that parents can or should steer their children in one direction or the other. We also need to stop making LGBTQ people prove their worth as parents. I initially asked the hosts if I could stick around and ask the FRC representative a few questions of my own. They declined, but when I thought about it, I didn’t really have anything to say to him or her anyway.

Who cares what those people think? They’re not going to stop me from having kids, and I’m damn sure not going to let my kids experience their bigotry as anything other than an amusing sideshow to our perfectly content lives. In a world that increasingly recognizes the anti-gay family brigade for the lunatics they are, they’re just fighting for relevance on whatever podcast or Fox News show will still have them on, so let them spew their hate. I’ll just continue to change the channel.

Before our kids were born, Drew and I speculated a lot about what they would be like. One day, Drew surprised me by saying he hoped they wouldn’t be gay. He was worried life would be harder for them — the same thing many straight parents say when speculating about their kids — and that if we raised a gay kid, it’d somehow lend credence to people’s fears about LGBTQ parents.

I know he doesn’t feel that way anymore, in part because our kids aren’t hypothetical anymore. They’re Bennett and Sutton, and they’re going to be who they are, and our job as parents is to make them happy, not to make them fit some notion of what the Family Research Council thinks kids should be.

Personally, I think it’d be fantastic if my kids were gay. You know what else would be fantastic? If they’re straight. Or bi. Or trans. Or jocks. Or bookworms. Or bookish jocks. Or whoever they happen to be, because whoever they are, Drew and I are going to do everything we can to make sure they’re comfortable with themselves and to let them know that their dads love them precisely because of who they are, not in spite of it.

Are gay parents more likely to raise gay kids? I don’t think so.

Kids who feel loved and supported, though? In a lot of cases, you bet they are.

UPDATE: The Dadsaster podcast is now up. You can listen to it here. It sounds like the FRC rep bailed on them, which is all for the best. In addition to me, they also interview Scout Masterson, one of the Guncles from “Tori & Dean.” It’s a good show. You should check it out.

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Thanks for making it to the end of my rant. If you like it, please share it! And if you haven’t already, please subscribe to this blog, like me on Facebook and follow me on Twitter. And, I don’t know, if you see me on the street, give a friendly wave maybe? That’d be nice.

3 Days And Counting… Amazon Chart Twerk update!


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Great news! My book has cracked the top 674,000 on Amazon! I actually noticed it go as high as the top 176,000 shortly after I announced the presale, but clearly most of you have been holding out for the official chart twerk, which takes place this Friday, October 4, at 12pm EDT (or as close to that as you can manage to be near a device running Amazon.com). I’m hoping then that I’ll see a much higher ranking, which of course, will give my publisher a big boost of confidence and hopefully convince more booksellers to stock it.

I’ve been so touched by all of you who’ve said you’re going to participate. I’m happy you want to read the book and grateful that you’re willing to help me out with my crazy little plan. (Admittedly, the one thing that’s likely to get a bigger boost than my book’s ranking is my own ego.)

For the rest of you, I’ve realized that maybe you need some more convincing. Maybe just some more information about this book I’m asking you to shell out your preorder money for. So, if you’re curious what’s contained in these 264 pages, here goes:

This memoir began as kind of an expanded version of a Modern Love column I wrote for the New York Times. You can read that original column here. That piece mostly centered on the amazing gift my partner and I received from my sister-in-law Susie, who selflessly donated her eggs to help us have children. The hardest thing about writing that column was fitting the whole thing into such a limited space. There was so much more to our story. So many more amazing people who deserved to be included, so many more unbelievable anecdotes I was dying to share. Writing the short version convinced me that I wanted to write about all of it. For my own sake, for my kids’ sake and, hopefully, for a bunch of people who might be moved by or just get a kick out of our story.

What I didn’t want to write was some deep, ponderous, self-important memoir like so many of the others out there. If you’ve been reading my blog, you’re familiar with my writing voice – snarky, jokey and then, when you least expect, ridiculously sentimental, because that’s just the kind of guy I am. That’s exactly what you’ll get from the book, too.

If I do say so myself, it’s also just a great story. Here’s the synopsis I put together for the publisher, which you can also find on the book’s Amazon page.

As a teenager growing up in the 1980s, all Jerry Mahoney wanted was a nice, normal sham marriage. 2.5 kids and a frustrated, dissatisfied wife living in denial of her husband’s sexuality. Hey, why not? It seemed much more attainable and fulfilling than the alternative—coming out of the closet and making peace with the fact that he’d never have a family at all.

Twenty years later, Jerry is living with his long-term boyfriend, Drew, and they’re ready to take the plunge into parenthood. But how? Adoption? Foster parenting? Kidnapping? What they want most of all is a great story to tell their future kid about where he or she came from.

Their search leads them to gestational surrogacy, a road less traveled where they’ll be borrowing a stranger’s ladyparts for nine months. Thus begins Jerry and Drew’s hilarious and unexpected journey to daddyhood. They meet a surrogate who’s perfect in every way… until she rejects them. They squabble over potential egg donors, discovering that they have very different notions of what makes the ideal woman. Then, Drew’s sister Susie makes a stunning offer that turns their entire journey on its head. If they’re interested, she’ll donate her eggs.

For the first time, Jerry and Drew imagine what it would be like to have a baby who’s a little bit of both of them. From then on, they’re in uncharted waters. They’re forced to face down homophobic baby store clerks, a hospital that doesn’t know what to do with them, even members of their own family who think what they’re doing is a little nutty. Along the way, Susie receives some devastating news that threatens to crush all their dreams of parenthood. One thing’s for sure. If this all works out, they’re going to have an incredible birth story to tell their kid.

With honesty, emotion, and laugh-out-loud humor, Jerry Mahoney ponders what it means to become a Mommy Man . . . and discovers that the answer is as varied and beautiful as the concept of family itself.

If you have any questions, post them here. I’d be happy to answer them. And if you need a reminder to place your order with the rest of us, just let me know and I’ll add you to my email list.

I have no idea how high a ranking this book can get, but I’m dying to find out. Maybe some day you can say you helped me crack the top 8,000!

[Remember: the Amazing Amazon Preorder Sales Twerk is this Friday, October 4, at 12pm EDT. You can place your orders here.]

Announcing: My Amazing Amazon Preorder Chart Twerk!

Exciting news. My book now has something in common with Tolstoy’s War and Peace, Faulkner’s The Sound and the Fury and Snooki’s Confessions of a Guidette. It’s listed on Amazon! You can see the cover, you can read the description, you can even click on a button to pre-order it (hint, hint).

MommyManCover

Yes, that’s my cover. I’m very happy to report that my publisher, Taylor Trade, hired the incredible David Heatley, who did my blog banner, to design the cover, and it’s exactly everything I wanted my book cover to be, because David is awesome and brilliant and Taylor Trade is the best.

I warned you this moment was coming. I told you I would start a full-on marketing blitz at some point. So here’s what I’m asking you to do. Ready…?

DON’T ORDER IT!

Well, yes, of course I want you to order it. Just not yet.

As I write this, my book is currently ranked #2,036,591 on Amazon. (Suck it, whoever’s #2,036,592!)

It’s not as bad as it sounds. It just got listed, and it doesn’t come out until May 8, 2014. Hopefully I can crack the top 2 million by then.

Now, here’s my silly strategy for getting my book off to a good start with preorders…

You may know that Amazon updates its sales rankings hourly. That means if you order my book right now, it might go up a few hundred thousand positions, and I would be incredibly grateful. Then, it would slowly sink back down again and in a few days, it might rest back in the high 1-millions/low 2-millions.

But what if, I wondered… what if everyone who’s going to preorder it did so at the same time, like within the same 1-hour period? What if I could get my book to rank, even briefly, within the top 1,000, maybe higher? Best case scenario, it would help my book get noticed. Maybe a few more people would order it. Maybe a few more booksellers would choose to stock it. Worst case scenario, it would make me feel good, and that’s nice, too.

So if you’re on board, join me in — oh, let’s call it my Amazing Amazon Preorder Chart Twerk. (Note: I’m still unclear on what twerking actually is.) We’ll twerk it together on Friday, October 4, as close to 12pm EST as you can do it.

This means you, people who’ve told me you can’t wait to preorder my book. This means you, people who like books that are funny and touching and about me. This means you, Mom! This means all of you!

The best part is this: Amazon has a pre-order price guarantee, so you won’t actually pay what it says right now. You’ll be billed when the book ships, and you’ll pay whatever the lowest price was between now and the day you first get to hold the book in your happy little hands. The current price is 10% off retail, but I’ve seen Amazon list it for as much as 25% off over the last few days. I’ll bet they’ll have that deal again over the next 7 1/2 months. Who knows. It may even go lower. (It’s a little like gambling — how fun!)

Let me repeat: Instead of preordering my book now, mark your calendar for Friday October 4, and do it then. (Don’t worry. If you check here or on my Facebook page, I’ll be reminding you.)

And if you’re worried you’ll forget or you think this is silly or you think, “Hey, cracking the top 2 million is pretty good, Jerry, don’t get greedy,” then feel free to order it right this second. Here. At this link. Go on!

I promise I won’t be mad.

UPDATE: I’ll definitely be posting, Facebooking, tweeting and twerking about this again before the big day, but if you want an email reminder on October 4 at go time, just leave me a comment here stating as such, and I’ll add you to the list. Just make sure you enter your email in the appropriate box when you type your comment, and then I’ll have it.

 

Bravo to “The Boxtrolls”

"Sometimes there's a mother. Sometimes there's a father. Sometimes there's a father and a father. Sometimes both fathers are mothers."

“Sometimes there’s a mother. Sometimes there’s a father. Sometimes there’s a father and a father. Sometimes both fathers are mothers.”

One of the bigger challenges of being in a two-dad family is finding representations of families like yours in popular culture. When you have no mom in your home, it can sometimes seem like 90% of kids’ books don’t apply to you. (And when you have no dad, you’re just as likely to feel excluded from Disney princess movies, where moms are virtually nonexistent.)

Yesterday, I took my kids to see Despicable Me 2. There’s a subplot in the movie about the main character’s daughters wishing they had a mom. It was perfectly sweet and inoffensive, and I’m sure it’s a subject that really does pop up in a lot of families headed by straight single dads. I don’t mind my kids seeing cartoon children who wish they had a mom, but it’s nice when that can be balanced out by fictional characters who are perfectly happy with the number and gender of parents they already have.

The amazing thing was, they actually got that. Not from the movie, but from one of the trailers that came before it. I’d never heard of The Boxtrolls before, but I let out a little squeal of joy when, out of nowhere, I heard them acknowledge the existence of families like mine. “That’s like us!” I cheered to my kids.

You can watch the trailer here:

I’m sure the filmmakers will get some flack over what will seem to many people like a totally unnecessary nod to LGBT parents — and maybe publicity was part of their motivation. The trailer comes right on the heels of the Supreme Court DOMA/Prop 8 decisions, yet the movie doesn’t come out until September 2014. (Hey, Focus Features, just how long do you think my kids’ memory is? They didn’t remember the movie about the racing snail and we only saw that trailer a week ago.)

Still, it’s my opinion that it’s never too early to talk to your kids about homosexuality — in fact, the sooner, the better. So I’m grateful this trailer will help nudge the conversation forward. More importantly, though, I’m happy for all the kids like mine who are going to see it.

You may not see families like mine every day — or single-parent families, adoptive families or families that cross any number of racial lines — but it’s very nice for us when we get a chance to see ourselves… so to the filmmakers, I want to say thanks.

I also want to let them know that my son was kind of freaked out by the Boxtrolls themselves and has sworn he’ll never see the movie. Good thing he has plenty of time to change his mind before it’s actually released.