New! Book Trailer for Buttheads from Outer Space!

Looking for a way to tell your friends about that funny new book with the aliens who speak in farts and have butts on their noggins? Well hey, lookee here! Now there’s a book trailer for BUTTHEADS FROM OUTER SPACE!

It’s all the fun of the back cover of the book, without all that pesky reading. (OK, there’s still reading… but on a screen!)

Watch, enjoy… and as my kids say when they make their YouTube videos (and even when they’re not making YouTube videos, come to think of it), “Share, like, comment and subscribe. Thanks, guys!”

 

Just a Couple of Gay Dads at Disney World – A MAGICAL UPDATE!

SevenDwarfsMineTrainFour years ago, I wrote about my first trip to Disney World with my husband Drew and our kids. It was something I’d always wanted to do, and it so far exceeded my expectations that I pretty much decided that any time we got to take a family vacation, we’d go back. As I said back then, the best part of our trip was meeting Cinderella’s Fairy Godmother, because she was so unbelievably sweet to us and our kids.

That post went semi-viral, and we heard from lots of Disney fans and cast members past and present as a result. Many of them had their own wonderful stories about the Fairy Godmother and how charming she was. A couple of people said they’d pass my post along to her and make sure she got a chance to read the nice things I’d said about her. But I had no idea whether she ever actually read it or even heard about it.

Two years ago, we took our second family trip to Disney World, and this time, there was nothing we were looking forward to more than seeing our old friend.

Sadly, though, she was nowhere to be found.

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Anastasia: “Does he have money?” Me: “We’re at Disney World, aren’t we?”

We asked lots of cast members about her, but no one knew for sure what had happened to her. There were rumors she’d been let go or been sent off to the new Disneyland in Shanghai. Still, every day, we walked by Cinderella’s castle hoping she’d magically appear. We had a great trip, but we were sad when we had to leave without getting a chance to see her.

 

Last week, we took our kids to Disney World again for their spring break from school. This time, Drew and I tried not to get our hopes up. It seemed impossible that she would be there, and even if by some miracle she was, what were the odds she would remember us or my little blog post from four whole years earlier? It was half our kids’ lives ago, after all.

When we got to the Magic Kingdom, we checked the Disney app, which tells you where you can find every character in the park, but Fairy Godmother wasn’t listed. So the kids and I discussed which of the big-ticket rides we wanted to go to first: Peter Pan’s Flight or Seven Dwarfs Mine Train. Drew just shook his head. “Come on,” he said, leading us toward Cinderella’s castle.

He at least had to check.

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If you go to the Magic Kingdom, look for Miss Sherilyn around Fronteirland. Tell her Jerry and Drew said hi!

But the Fairy Godmother wasn’t there. Four or five times that day, we walked by the spot where we’d first met her, but she never showed up. We did meet some other awesome cast members like our new friend Sherilyn (pictured here) and a nice guy named Mikel who gave my kids a taste of the new Avatar ride when they were too nervous to go on it. Plus, Cinderella’s wicked stepsisters were a hoot. Anastasia was wicked in all the best ways. She told us how much she loved our family, and she even got engaged to our son Bennett. (After first checking that he had money, of course.)

 

Not that we ever had any doubt, but it was obvious that Fairy Godmother isn’t the only incredibly special person working for Disney. We knew we probably wouldn’t actually get to see the lady herself, but there were plenty of other people there to make our trip special.

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Fireworks are loud

A few days later, we got to the park early for the opening ceremony. Just before the rope drop, music played and some characters came out for a song and dance to welcome us. The kids and I craned our necks to try to see through the crowd, but we only caught fleeting glimpses of some of the characters. “I think that’s Belle!” I said, though I wasn’t sure. “Or maybe Captain Hook?”

 

Then, Drew, the tallest of our smallish crew, pointed over the heads of a million tourists and said with perfect clarity, “There she is!”

“No!” I said. Of course, I knew exactly who he meant.

“Totally.”

I was still in denial. “The same one?”

“I think so.”

After that, roller coasters and teacups were not our priority. That whole morning, we kept walking past the castle in the fateful spot where we met the Fairy Godmother four years earlier.

… until at last, there she was.

It was her. The Fairy Godmother, taking pictures, signing autographs and interacting sweetly with little kids and their families.

We got in line, practically hyperventilating with excitement. “No way she’ll remember us,” I said.

“Then we’ll remind her,” Drew replied. He pulled up my blog post on his phone, and as we moved up through the line, we wondered what we were in for.

“Well, hello!” she said, when it was our turn. “Last time I saw you, it was over there!” She pointed across the walkway at a shady underpass near a gift shop.

“Yes!” Drew said. I didn’t remember at all, but apparently, she sometimes stood in a different spot. Could it be that she actually remembered our last meeting better than I did?

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She remembered us!

Well, she did. She gave us giant hugs, and she talked to us like it had only been a couple of days since we’d seen her, instead of four years. She told us she did see the blog post, and it meant so much to her. She said she thought about us often, because we were such a special family. My kids were dazzled, not just that she remembered us, but at how she got down and spoke to them like old friends, curious to hear all about them. Drew was so moved, he was in tears.

 

We spent a minute catching up, and I told her that since we last saw her, I’d written a book about Cinderella, My Rotten Stepbrother Ruined Cinderella. One of my favorite characters in it is Cinderella’s fairy godmother, who’s a little miffed that Cinderella didn’t get home by midnight like she was supposed to. The real Fairy Godmother couldn’t have been nicer and even told me she was going to pick up a copy. Then, we moved along, because Fairy Godmother is very popular and had plenty of other people to see. We hung out for a second and watched as she greeted all of the next guests as warmly as she did us and made them all feel just as special.

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Fairy Godmother with my book!

We couldn’t leave Orlando without seeing her one more time, so on our last day, we waited in line outside the castle again. This time, I  brought along a copy of my book to give her. She told our kids they were lucky to have such wonderful daddies and to be part of such a special family. She gave us each a hug and a kiss on the cheek and told us that she loved us.

 

When I wrote my original post four years ago, I thought maybe we got special treatment at Disney because we were gay dads. Well, I no longer think that’s the case. I don’t think we got special treatment because we were gay dads or because we were friendly or even because I’d written a blog post.

I still think being different brings with it wonderful benefits you can never imagine.

But not this.

This happened because we had the great fortune to meet a fairy godmother.

And because she is magic.

And I can’t wait to see her again when we go back in two years.

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FairyGodmotherAutograph

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Hey, did you know that in addition to the occasional post about being a gay dad, I write kids’ books? It’s true! Help me feed those adorable kids in the pictures above by checking out my website for my childrens’ writing and by visiting my author page on Amazon, Barnes & Noble or wherever you like to buy books. Hooray! Books!

Happy Book Birthday to Me! The Buttheads Have Landed!

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Today is a huge day for me.

Those of you who’ve been reading this blog for a while might remember when it was my dream to get a book publilshed about my journey to parenthood. That book, “Mommy Man,” came out in 2014. Hooray! Bucket list check mark! So… then what?

Well, today, I’m celebrating the publication of my 6th (!) book. And I couldn’t have done it without all the support I got from my readers in the early days of this blog. You convinced me to follow my dream and my voice and to keep writing.

mrsr-cinderellaAs you probably know by now, I’ve shifted gears a bit and started writing kids’ books. My four-book series MY ROTTEN STEPBROTHER RUINED FAIRY TALES came out last year, and I’ve gotten some amazing feedback on it. 10-year-old Oscar at Kid Book Reviewer wrote, “Every time I finish reading a book in this series I keep thinking it is the best, funniest book in the world. I don’t know how Jerry Mahoney makes each book sooooo much funnier and amazing than the last.”

Reading a review like that is the best feeling in the world. It’s like my happily ever after.

lloydblank2_edited-2So I couldn’t be more excited to have a new book to share with you. This one, as I may have mentioned a thousand times before, is called BUTTHEADS FROM OUTER SPACE. It’s about two best friends, Josh and Lloyd, who try to persuade aliens to come visit them by writing an Earth travel blog. And it works! The problem is that the aliens who show up are total buttheads — literally. They have butts on their heads, and they talk in farts. They love Earth so much they invite 70 billion of their friends to come join them here. Uh-oh…

I’ve mentioned it’s a kids’ book, right?

lemoncelloOne of my favorite kids’ authors, Chris Grabenstein, who wrote the gazillion-selling, award-hoarding smash super-hit ESCAPE FROM MR. LEMONCELLO’S LIBRARY and dozens of other awesome books, even wrote me a blurb: “I laughed my butt off!”

It was crazy. I sent him an email through his website and told him about the book. He wrote back with his address, so I sent him a copy. Then, he wrote me that perfect blurb. (Side note: Please go buy all of Chris Grabenstein’s books. He’s a great writer and a swell guy.)

joshblank_edited-2There have been other great reviews, too, like these:

“Will cause giggle and snicker overload!” – Kirkus Reviews

“A strong bid for Captain Underpants grads!” – ALA Booklist

“A fun, wacky story that kids will love! A great book to hook reluctant readers!” – Erik, This Kid Reviews Books

“276 pages of blasting-dookies-who’s-the-weeniest-phasmic-wave-induced fun. Buttheads from Outer Space is expertly paced, comical, and full of heart!” – Joyce Audy Zarins, Writers Rumpus

I’ve decided not to do any chart twerk-type stunt with this book. If you’ve read my other books or even just a few of the posts on this blog, you know what you’re in for: cheap, lowbrow humor and shameless tugs at your heartstrings. Hey, I know my skill set.

I also know that tons of kids hate to read, but if a book has fart jokes in it and their parents think it’s gross and offensive, then they just might pick it up and check it out. Then, they’ll get all the booky goodness they’ve been missing by not reading, without even realizing they’re enriching themselves. (Suckers!)

Think of it like putting chocolate on top of a salad. Wait, am I the only one who does that?

So I hope you’ll check it out. Buy it for yourself. Buy it for a kid you know. Buy it for a teacher or a school library. If you want to buy it today-ish and help me get a boost on the charts, even better.

Here are some places you can find it. (Click on the links to go to the sales page.)

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Thanks again to everyone reading this. This blog and all the support you gave it has made all the difference in giving me the writing career I’ve always wanted. I hope you (and/or your kids) will enjoy my new book.

And for those of you who come here to see pictures of my kids, here they are with their friend Duncan at my book release!IMG_0145

My Rotten Books: Now Available Everywhere!

I had a great time reading and signing the MY ROTTEN STEPBROTHER books at the Burbank, CA Barnes & Noble. Best of all, the store sold out of 3 of the 4 titles! (I left two autographed copies of MY ROTTEN STEPBROTHER RUINED ALADDIN behind, so if you hurry, they might still be there!)

Best of all, the book is now in stock at Amazon and lots of other bookstores, too! I apologize to everyone who had to wait for their copies, but now the waiting is over for everyone!

Check these handy dandy buttons to see if your favorite retailer has them in stock.

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And if you’ve already read one or more of them, you can help spread the word by leaving a review at any of those places and/or at GoodReads.

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Cover Reveal: BUTTHEADS FROM OUTER SPACE!

I’m so excited to reveal the cover artwork for my next book, Buttheads From Outer Space! It’s the story of Lloyd and Josh, two sixth grade misfits who want nothing more than to meet aliens, and their wish comes true! The problem is, the aliens turn out to be total buttheads, in every sense. They talk in farts, they hog the XBox, they barf up Oreos everywhere. And now the guys can’t get them to leave. It’s outer space… in your face!

I’m pretty sure it’ll be heralded as the next great American novel.

It’ll be released in March 2018 from Sky Pony Press, and you can preorder it now at Amazon, Barnes & Noble or your favorite indie retailer! (And if it’s a bit too early for you, you can always mark it as “to-read” on Goodreads so you don’t forget about it.)

If you’re reading this the day I’m posting it, you may notice that none of those sites have the book cover image yet. But I do! And I’m showing it to my followers first, right here. Ready?

Here it is!

Buttheads From Outer Space cover

Coming March 2018!

This brilliance comes from illustrator Chris Garbutt. Yes, even our illustrator has “butt” in his name. It’s going to be that kind of book, everyone.

I can’t wait for you to read it!

New Post on Scary Mommy Today!

My Rotten CookiesI’m so excited to be back on Scary Mommy. I have a new post up there today called It’s Time For Us To Embrace A New Kind of Fairy Tale. It’s all about what got me to write the My Rotten Stepbrother books, specifically the crummy examples most fairy tales set for girls. Check it out and let me know what you think!

And don’t forget… it’s just two days until the books come out and My Rotten Release Day Chart Twerk! Mark your calendars and order your copies at 12pm your local time, this Tuesday, August 1, 2017!

Finally, if you’re in the New York area, stop by my launch party at Anderson’s Book Shop in Larchmont on Tuesday, 8/1 at 6pm. There will be books, stickers, signings and adorable little cookies like the ones in the picture above. I’d love to see you there!

My Surprising Father’s Day Gift

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Unless you’re a straight white male or Bill Cosby, it’s been a pretty crummy year so far. Well, it’s not much, but for me, there’s been a small bright side, and it’s that card pictured above. It may not seem like a big deal to you, especially if you’re a straight white male. But that is the card I got my husband for Father’s Day this year, and it felt pretty awesome to do it.

Anyone who’s gay can relate to the challenge of finding greeting cards for special occasions. Whether it’s Valentine’s Day or anniversaries, there just aren’t a lot of options for us, at least not in the usual venues. Sure, there have long been some great out-of-the-way stores and underpromoted websites geared for folks like us, and I highly recommend giving them your business. But not everyone can trek to the gay part of town for a greeting card or wait to have a gift shipped to them.

As someone who’s LGBTQ, that leaves you with a few options: buy a blank card, make your own card, find a card so generic that it’s not gender-specific or buy a card that says “To my husband” and cross out all the references to “wife” and/or cartoons of the girl squirrel holding the boy squirrel’s hand (or vice-versa). (Special props to my brother-in-law, who bought two identical wedding cards when Drew and I tied the knot. He snipped out the grooms and put them both on the same card, to make a homemade gay wedding card.)

As hard as gay relationship cards are to find, gay parent cards are even more of a challenge. So when I went to Rite Aid to get a Father’s Day card for my husband Drew, I was planning to do some creative thinking, as usual, to turn a card for someone else into a card for us.

Then I saw something I hadn’t expected to see – a label in the Father’s Day section that said “Two Dads.” There was only one card there, and it wasn’t exactly what I wanted to say. (I would’ve gone with “the two luckiest guys” instead of “two of the luckiest.”) But it felt so good to be acknowledged.

In a Rite Aid.

With a card from American Greetings.

This was unthinkable when we started dating 14 years ago… and when our kids were born 7 years ago… and even when we got married 3 years ago. But there it was, with all the other cards, just no big deal. When I took it up to the register and bought it, the cashier said, “Happy Father’s Day,” and almost before those words were out of her mouth, she yelled, “Next!” and waved me away.

Sure, this one greeting card doesn’t do anything to help Muslims, women, African-Americans, Jews or any of the other people who’ve been having a tough time since this new administration took over (and since long before that), and it barely does anything for LGBTQ people. But for me, it was a reminder that you can’t stop progress, even in an otherwise rotten time for progress. And even while we’re fighting for our rights, there are appropriate moments to stop and reflect on how far we’ve come.

It may have been noteworthy to my husband and me, but of course, our kids had no idea why this greeting card was different from any other one.

And that’s probably the best part of all.

Happy Father’s Day to all the gay dads out there — and to you straight ones, too!

* * * * *

I know it’s been a while since I’ve posted, but that’s because I’ve been busy with my kids’ books! My series MY ROTTEN STEPBROTHER RUINED FAIRY TALES comes out August 1, 2017 from Capstone, and you can preorder them nowpreorder them now! Also, check out my new website for my middle grade and young adult writing, jerrymahoneybooks.com. [End of shameless plug.] 🙂