Muppet Love

I don’t think I could’ve timed parenthood more perfectly than to have two-year-olds just as the Muppets are making a comeback.  I pity those children born during the late 90s and early 00s.  Muppet Treasure Island?  My sympathies, Millennials.  My sympathies.

My kids, on the other hand, know only the salad days of Kermit & Crew.  The Show.  The Movie.  The Merchandise.  Ah yes, the Merchandise.  Now, thanks to this new film, their favorite felt friends are everywhere.  Nothing gets them more excited than seeing a Muppet billboard.  Sutton seems to be particularly smitten.

“There’s Kermit the Frog!” she’ll shout.  Then, as if she’s just discovered the giant pink snout next to Kermit, she’ll squeal, “And there’s Miss Piggy!”

She knows all the words to “Movin’ Right Along”, and sometimes, out of the blue, she’ll treat us to an a capella version, taking her best stab at the words she’s unfamiliar with.  “A bear in his nashal hat-tat… a Stoo-baker.”

To be fair, she doesn’t like all of Jim Henson’s creations.  Animal freaks her out a little.

“He’s scary.”

And this guy frightens her… kind of.

“He’s scary… but he’s very nice.”

Ask her who her favorite is, though, and she won’t hesitate.  In fact, it’s a tie…

Yes, Statler and Waldorf.

No question about it, she gets most excited and she laughs the loudest when they’re on screen.  My sweet little girl loves those two obnoxious old coots who laugh at their own terrible jokes.

Drew and I couldn’t figure it out.  Was it because the other characters’ humor was too subtle for her?  But if that were the case, why not Fozzie?  He’s practically begging for the affection of the toddler crowd with his broad comic schtick.

Then, a couple of days ago, a new theory emerged.  Sutton was playing with her Statler and Waldorf dolls, when she decided to put them down for a nap.

In our bed.

Together.

She tucked them in, turned the lights out, then shushed me, because Statler and Waldorf were sleeping.

Whenever something ridiculously cute happens while Drew’s at work, I take pictures so I can send them to him.

But Drew read into it a little more than I expected.  He wrote back right away, concerned.

“Oh my God.  That’s how she sees us!”

The more I thought about it, the more sense it made.  Those two guys in the box seats have really good chemistry.  They crack each other up.  They sit very close together.

To this little girl, two obnoxious old coots who laugh at their own terrible jokes… are a lot like her daddies.

And to think, everyone was so sure Bert and Ernie were the gay ones.