Announcing: My Rotten Release Day Chart Twerk!

blogbookhead_3If there’s one thing I’ll never fail to procrastinate about, it’s promoting my books. I mean, I worked really hard on them, I’m super proud of them, and I wrote them hoping lots of people would enjoy them. But taking that step to say, “Please buy them” just feels kind of, y’know, icky.

Promotion is the writers’ equivalent of a root canal, a tax audit, or sitting through a marathon of all 97 Transformers movies back to back. I would do just about anything short of colluding with Russia to get around it.

So I’ll make this quick.


Maddie – loves fairy tales, can’t stand her stepbrother

My books are coming out, and I think you’re going to love them. They’re fun, irreverent twists on four beloved fairy tales, with lots of humor and heart. They’re great for kids and fun for parents who like to read to kids. They answer questions like “What if the glass slipper fit one of the wicked stepsisters before Cinderella got a chance to try it on?”, “What if Belle wasn’t beautiful?” and “What if the seven dwarfs were kick-butt karate masters?” You can read more about them here.


Obviously, I’d love to see them sell a bunch of copies. Then, hopefully my publisher would order more books in the series and I’d get to spend even more time with these characters I’ve grown to love. So that’s my pitch.

Um… please buy them?

Since there are four books, you can take your pick! Cinderella, Beauty & the Beast, Aladdin, Snow White. Buy whichever one is your favorite fairy tale, and you’ll see how Maddie and Holden mess it up and then try to fix it. (If you want to read them in order, Cinderella is book 1, but reading them in order isn’t essential.) Check one out and see if you like it — or heck, just grab all four at once! That’s a great idea, too! (Ick.)


Have I convinced you?

Well, wait! Don’t do it yet!


Holden – can’t stand fairy tales, loves driving his stepsister nuts

Here’s the thing: if everyone who’s planning to buy one or more My Rotten Stepbrother books does so at roughly the same time, they’ll make a much bigger splash. They’ll rank higher and get more attention, which could lead to more people discovering them. I did this with my memoir Mommy Man, and it made a huge difference. Thanks to all you awesome readers and followers, that book went to #1 in its category, #2 on Amazon’s Movers & Shakers chart and #260 overall. (That’s right. It was in the top 300 of every single book on Amazon!)

So I’m asking you to do me a huge favor. If you’re going to buy one or more of the My Rotten Stepbrother books, please do it as close to 12pm on their release day, August 1st, as you can.

If Amazon is your preferred vendor, then do it there. But if you like to support brick and mortar stores or another online retailer, then please stick with them. Anyone who sells books in 2017 is OK by me. Or buy the eBook if that’s what you prefer. Those are great, too. FYI a fuller list of vendors and links to their My Rotten Stepbrother pages can be found here.

And of course, if you’re coming to one of my events, I’d love for you to wait and buy the book(s) in person so I can sign them and support the stores that are hosting me.

august1Tuesday, August 1, 2017. 12pm your time, wherever that is. Or as close as possible to then as you can manage.

Mark your calendar, follow my tweets or leave a comment below if you’d like to be reminded by email.

OK, thanks for listening to my shameless sales pitch. See, that wasn’t so painful after all. And I did it without any help from the Kremlin. Yay me.



JTF is my BFF! (Jesse Tyler Ferguson Reads My Essay!)

jtfHave I mentioned that Jesse Tyler Ferguson is one of my favorite people? Well, he is, and not just because he chose my essay to read for the Modern Love podcast this week. He also did a great job of it.

Seriously, you should check it out here. (You can also hear an update from me and a teary interview with Susie as well. Get your Kleenex ready!)

Can’t wait to see JTF (I can call him that now. We’re tight.) in Fully Committed on Broadway this spring!

Yes, I’m shamelessly plugging his show. It’s the least I can do for my new BFF. Break a leg, pal!

* * *

Are you new here? Well, you can be my BFF, too, by subscribing to this blog, following me on Twitter or, best of all, buying my book! The essay was just a small part of my story. You’ll never believe the rest of the crazy, emotional jiggery-pokery my husband and I went through to become dads. (Just try to act surprised now that you know the ending.)


One More Day to the Chart Twerk for My Book! Thanks for Spreading the Word!

For no good reason, a picture of my children getting along.

For no good reason, a picture of my children getting along.

Are these book preorder updates getting obnoxious?  Here’s the deal: You indulge me with these self-promotional shenanigans for a couple of days, then we go back to normal here for a while, at least until a few weeks before the book comes out next May, when all bets are off. OK? Thanks…

I just want to thank all of you who have posted about my Amazon Preorder Chart Twerk on your Facebooks, Twitters and what have you. (You have Keek? Great, thanks for Keeking me, whatever that is.)

The awesome Miceala Shocklee of the Quill even created a Facebook event to promote my thing. And I’m not even paying her!  Feel free to jump into her party here. I also created a Facebook event through my Mommy Man page, but Facebook only showed it to 90 people. Rumor has it this is how they get people to pay to promote their posts. The few times I’ve seen bloggers do that, their post shows up like a hundred times in everyone’s feed, and we all just get annoyed. So I’m not going to do that to you, not this time at least.

So if you’re on board with preordering my book tomorrow at 12pm EDT and helping me make a big dent in the Amazon sales charts, set your alerts. Join Miceala’s thing. Sign up for an email reminder by requesting one in the comments below. Follow me on Twitter. Subscribe to this blog. If you do any of those things, you’ll get a reminder when it’s time to buy.

Amazon seems to be the only retailer that has the presale up as of now, which is why I’m asking everyone to do it there. It should be available just about everywhere eventually, and I’ll provide that info on my site when I have it.

It’d be nice if Amazon discounted the price to coincide with this, but remember, they have a preorder price guarantee, which means if you order tomorrow, you’ll only pay the lowest price they offer it at between now and the release date. So you can’t lose, and that’s a very good reason for ordering early.

Thanks again!