Upload Yours! (Wait, that didn’t come out right…)

susiebookselfieThe books are coming! The books are coming! People who preordered from Amazon started getting their books yesterday, and they proved it by sending me selfies.

The next best thing to getting my own box of books was seeing other people with their copies. At the top of this post is Susie, sister-in-law extraordinaire and the one who the whole darn book is dedicated to, showing off her Mommy Man. She wasn’t the only one who sent me a selfie…

mattlilybookselfieMeet Matt Tappon and his daughter Lilian! Want to know more about them? You can read their amazing story in my epilogue.

drewzbookselfieThat’s Drew Z. Greenberg, good friend and blurber featured on the back cover. Don’t be confused, though. He’s not my Drew. That would be this guy…

drewbookselfieClassy as always. And while it’s not technically a selfie, here are two more stars of the book with their copy…

suttonbennettbookselfieLet’s just say you find out who they are towards the end of the book.

I’ll post some more pics of people from the book as I get them, so you can see what the main players look like. But I’d love to see your selfie, too!

Did you get your copy Mommy Man? Head over to Facebook and upload your Mommy Man selfie directly to my page. Or tweet it @WhyJerryWhy with the hashtag #MommyManSelfie, and I’ll give you a retweet.

I’ll pick my favorite one on, oh let’s say May 31st, and send the best selfie-er an autographed copy of the book. I know, you’ll already have a copy of the book, but I’ll have my kids write something cute this one to make it extra-special.

Now upload yours!

* * * * *

Want to get in on the selfie action, not to mention the chance to read a book that Publishers Weekly calls “uproarious” and “touching”? Better hurry! Amazon’s already sold out of theirs! They’ll have more in stock soon, and you can find a bunch of other buying options here. Coming May 8 to bookstores everywhere!

Lifetime Moms Post – and Twitter Party!


Mens Room Sign

Mens Room Sign (Photo credit: mrkathika)

I’ve written a few posts for this blog that I just can’t bear to reread. I think I’ve pointed out before that #1 on that list is this one. Just remembering that hospital episode turns my insides to instant slush. But I think this post about a bathroom nightmare I went through with the kids may be a close second on the ones I’d rather not revisit.


I want to say that our public bathroom experiences have gotten better since then, but it’s more like the horrors have morphed and now manifest in slightly different ways. So, in thinking about what I wanted for Father’s Day, I tried to imagine what the dream dad-friendly public men’s room might look like. That became my new Lifetime Moms post, My Dream of the Ultimate Dad-Friendly Mens Room. Check it out… but I’ll warn you – it’s not pretty.

Also, it’s kind of last-minute but I’ll be taking part in a Father’s Day-themed Twitter Party with the Lifetime Moms crew, tonight (Thursday, June 13, 2013, that is) at 9pm Eastern Time. Make sure you follow my new Twitter account for this blog, located @MommyManBlog, because that’s where I’ll be partying. You’ll also want to follow Lifetime Moms, as well as my fellow partiers Melissa Chapman, John Kinnear and Doug Latham, as well as keeping an eye on the hashtag #lifetimemomsdads

Did I mention there will be fabulous prizes? I’m assuming I’m not eligible for these prizes, which makes them a little less fabulous, but just for me. They’ll still be fabulous for you.


Thanks for Sharing!

Well, it’s time for the least interesting kind of post, the day-after-a-big-post post.  Yesterday was my highest traffic day ever – more than double the old record, in fact.  I know that means very little to anyone but me, but it makes me happy, so I’m saying thanks.

Thanks to everyone who shared on Twitter, Reddit and Facebook.  (I had more Facebook shares yesterday than I have Facebook friends.)  Thanks to Towleroad and AfterElton.  Thanks to everyone who blogged me or shared me in ways I don’t even know about or understand.  As I say all the time, social networking is the #1 way I reach new readers, so if you like something you read here, please spread it around.

Welcome to the new subscribers, followers and Facebook likers.  (For the rest of you, I hope you’ll consider subscribing by entering your email in the right-hand column – or like me on Facebook and/or follow me on Twitter.  The content is slightly different on each platform.)  Note that this blog very recently underwent a name change.  Until last week, it was called “Where Do Gaybies Come From?”, so you may see that name in some places, like on Facebook, but don’t worry.  It’s the same blog.

Also, check out that snazzy new slider at the top of the page.  It’ll direct you to a few of my more popular posts.

Once again, I’m sorry I fell behind in comment replies.  I usually like to respond to everyone individually, so I hope you’ll forgive this blanket reply instead.  I’ve read everything you’ve written – yes, even the criticism, and I’m glad that my blog has provoked some discussion.  Special thanks to those of you who had my back.

FYI the picture above is of Sutton devouring the world’s tiniest ice cream cone last night.  It doesn’t really fit with the theme of this post, because she wouldn’t have shared it for a million dollars.  But I liked it, and every post needs a picture, so there it is.

Welcome, Thank You and Please

English: Chain

Image via Wikipedia

It’s always nice to see my hit count spike when I post something people connect with.  So, first of all, welcome to all the new visitors who’ve been coming to this blog.  I hope you’ll stay and check out some of my other stuff.  The best place to start is on one of the pages linked above — Best O’Blog (for my favorite posts from this blog) or Other Writing (for pieces published on other sites).  You might also want to check out the About Me page for some background about the site and me in particular.

Because so many new people have been coming, I owe a big thank you to my regular visitors, who have obviously been kicking some serious tushie (that’s right – “tushie” – it’s a family blog) getting the word out.  I don’t always see who’s sharing my posts on Twitter and Facebook or I’d thank you all individually (and if we’re not FB friends, I probably didn’t see your share at all).  However, I do see how many people are sharing, and it’s more than just the friends I’m quietly bribing to link me, so I know some of you are doing it because you actually like my posts.  Wow.

That being said, to the rest of you, I ask you to please join in and help spread the word.  If you see something here that you find interesting/funny/informative/infuriating, please click the links at the end of each post that let you share the post easily on Facebook and Twitter.  If you’re on Digg, Reddit StumbleUpon or some other site so hip I haven’t even heard of it yet, then link me there, too.  (Reddit has been particularly kind to me lately.)  Link me on your own blog, if you have one.  Send out an email to your friends who you think might appreciate this blog.  Most of my readers have found me through referrals from their social networks, so I really rely on that word of mouth to help my readership grow.

Please also like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter and subscribe to the blog by providing your email in the right column where it says “Follow Blog Via Email”.  (You’ll only get emails about new blog posts, no spam.)

And most of all, comment!  I love hearing from readers, especially if they have nice things to say (but even sometimes if they don’t), and it helps me understand what people like and dislike about the posts so I can figure out what kind of content works best here.

Sorry for the hard sell.  I promise not to do this too often, but as I’ve said before, I’m trying to get my memoir published, and the more hits and subscribers I get, the more interested publishers become.  I don’t advertise on the site, and I don’t make any money from it, so when people help me bring in more readers, that’s all the payment I ask for.

I’ll be back soon with another regular post… and eventually, that redesign I’ve been teasing.

Thanks again for reading!

The 250 Commenters You Meet as a Gay Dad

I’ve always intended to reply individually to everyone who comments on my blog.  I’m grateful anyone takes the time to read what I write, let alone offer their feedback.  And one of the best things about blogging is getting to interact with readers, whenever I’m lucky enough to have any.

And then… this happened.

I got Freshly Pressed by WordPress, linked on AfterElton  and Towleroad, promoted on Reddit, tweeted on Twitter and shared on Facebook, as well as a lot of people’s own blogs.  The last two days have been astounding, watching my hit count set new records, then break them over again, feeling my phone buzz every 30 seconds or so to alert me to a new email and reading so many wonderful, thoughtful and hilarious comments from people who connected to something I wrote.  It’s the kind of experience a blogger dreams of having.

… every time they post something.

So please keep coming back!

And now let’s go do this for the next lucky blogger.  It sure was fun.

I was still hoping to respond to everybody, but at this point, it would take me days, I would run out of interesting things to say and I would use up the time I would’ve been spending working on other posts.

So forgive me if I offer this blanket response instead.  If I didn’t address you directly, I apologize.  Once this craziness dies down, I hope to go back to my policy of replying to everyone.

Until then, I offer these blanket responses to the 8 kinds of people who commented on my post:

1.5ers.  Some supportive people very kindly asked whether there might be a category between #1 (New BFFs) and #2 (Jaded Allies), something more flattering perhaps?  Yes, of course there is, but let me also say there’s nothing wrong with being a #1 or a #2.  Until there are more gay dads in more parts of the world, lots of perfectly well-meaning people will remain self-conscious in their reactions, and that’s why they may act a little silly sometimes.  I’m grateful for any type of support, be it muted or overenthusiastic, so no matter where you fall on the spectrum, you’re cool with me.

Other gay dads.  I was very relieved that my peers, no matter where they lived, seemed to have similar experiences to mine.  A few have met the Moral Crusaders, unfortunately, but mostly, people feel supported even in the most politically conservative places.  I was really hoping this blog would introduce me to other gay dads, so I hope you’ll all come back and visit.

“I totally related to that, even though I’m not gay!” people.  I loved getting these comments, because I never expected my post would resonate so much with interracial couples, single moms, adoptive parents, co-parents, bisexuals, transsexuals, childless gays, wiccans, pagans or anyone who feels a little different.  It made me really happy to hear from all of you, and now that that’s out of the way, can I be your new BFF?

Other nice people.  Lots of people wrote just to say “great post” or to compliment my writing or tell me I made them laugh.  You guys are welcome back any time.  And to my self-described “stalker” who said she’s now following me in every way possible, I think you forgot to “like” me on Facebook.  Please get on it!

International readers.  I have international readers?!  COOOOL!  Thank you so much for sharing your perspectives.  I’m fascinated by how LGBT people are treated throughout the world, and I hope someday, everyone will feel as fulfilled and accepted as I have.

The overwhelming majority fell into those categories, but there were just a couple of others I’d like to address…

People who called me a hypocrite.  How dare I label people?, they demanded.  Aren’t I asking not to be labeled myself?  Um, no.  Not at all.  In fact, I do label myself, as a gay dad.  I did it in the subject line, before I labeled anyone else.  But wait!, someone said.  Is that all there is to me?  Am I just a gay dad?  Why am I “in your face” about that particular part of who I am, when surely there’s so much more to me?  Well, if you think I’m in your face, please back away from your computer.  No, I don’t think “gay dad” says all you need to know about me, or this site would consist only of those two words.  Instead, I have a blog where I write endlessly (and admittedly narcissistically) about myself.  If you want to know more about me than the fact that I’m a gay dad, I encourage you to read to your heart’s content.

“Love the sinners, hate the sin” people.  It’s fine to “love the sinner, hate the sin” if that’s really what you’re doing, but once you tell me that that’s what you’re doing, you’re not doing it anymore.  You’re judging me quite openly, and I find it rude.  If that’s how your god wants you to behave, then swell, you two can high-five each other over it someday.  “Hey, guy who comments on blogs!  Way to go with that gay dude!”  Until then, I’d prefer you do me the favor of becoming a Closet Homophobe.  If you can’t tell me you love me and respect me as a human being without also telling me in the same breath that I’m going to Hell, then please just smile and walk away, thanks.

And before anyone cries “persecution”, I never said or implied that all Christians were homophobic, confrontational or judgmental.  I know tons of wonderful, open-minded people of all faiths, many who’ve even been new BFFs.  If you feel persecuted, it’s not because you’re Christian.  It’s more likely because you’re an a**hole.

The person who considers surrogacy to be the moral equivalent of slavery.  Well, hi, I’m sorry you feel that way, but if you’re curious to know more about surrogacy, you’ve come to the right place.  If you’re interested, I’d recommend this post I wrote on the topic.  It sheds some light on why my partner and I chose that route.  But really, I think you’d be better off talking to our surrogate about her reasons for doing what she did.  Let me know if you’re interested and I’ll unchain her from my cotton gin so you two can hang.

Thanks for reading, everyone.  I’ll be back tomorrow with a regular post.

5 Easy and Awesome Ways You Can Help Me Spread the Word About This Blog

Here’s the deal. I’m not doing this to make money. I won’t be putting any ads on this site or asking for donations or anything like that. I’m doing this because I enjoy writing about myself and my life…

… OK, you caught me… and to promote the book I’m writing.

It’s a memoir, a funnyish look at the wacky, unpredictable path Drew and I took to parenthood. It may or may not end up being called Where Do Gaybies Come From? I have an awesome literary agent, and I’m hoping to have a manuscript she can shop around by next spring. It’s a lot of work, but it’s also the most gratifying and fun thing I’ve ever written.

But here’s the thing. Unless you’re someone big and important, like Snooki, it’s hard to get publishers to notice you. All they know of you is what they can find online. The best way to get published is to build up an online following. Twitter, Facebook, blog hits. They really look at those things.

So it’s not just out of pure narcissism that I’m asking you, if you like my blog, to help spread the word. You don’t even have to do much. As many of the following things as you’re comfortable doing, I would be extremely grateful for.

1. Like the Where Do Gaybies Come From? page on Facebook, if you haven’t already.  There’s a button right here on this page.  Over there, at the top right corner.  See it?  Please click it.  Then you’ll hear about new posts in your Facebook timeline.  There, that was easy, right?

2. Follow my Twitter account, Why Jerry Why.  (90% fresh snark, 10% blog promotion!)

Free twitter badge
Image via Wikipedia


3. Comment on my posts.  I’ll read everything anyone writes, I’ll try to respond, and other people will be more likely to join in the conversation when they see your comments.

4. If you read something here you really like, please share it on Facebook.  If it makes you laugh or you think your friends will appreciate it, then pass it on.  This is the easiest and most effective way for me to get exposed to new people.  If you haven’t seen something here yet that you like enough to share, then just you wait. Your favorite post will be coming soon.

5. Subscribe to the blog by entering your email address under where it says “Follow Blog Via Email”.  You won’t get spammed, I promise.  You will just be notified automatically via email every time I post something new here.

Many of you probably know more about the internet than I do, so if you’re on other social networking sites, then feel free to +1 me or Digg me or whatever, too.  Go for it.

I can’t tell you how much I appreciate everyone coming here and checking the site out, and if that’s all you feel comfortable doing, then I thank you for that.   Believe me, I feel as awkward writing this post as you might feel reading it.  Just consider it like an NPR pledge drive, only nothing costs you money and I’m not giving out tote bags.


Where Do New Readers Come From? (AfterElton)

I want to thank AfterElton for their shout out today – and thanks to everyone who clicked over from there to check this site out.  It’s been a blast to watch those site stats ballooning all morning, and I hope you’ll all keep coming back.

For you newbies, here’s a quick overview of what Where Do Gaybies Come From is all about.  I’m a happily partnered (unmarried — f*** you, Prop 8 ) gay dad to the world’s most awesome 2-year-old twins.  My boyfriend and I had them with the help of a surrogate and an egg donor (his sister).  We have a unique and wonderful family, and I feel like the luckiest guy in the world.

I write about our lives, about the crazy series of events that enabled us to become dads, about being gay, plus general parenthood issues and the world of a stay-at-home dad, with special attention paid to the fun and funny stuff.

If you like what you see, please leave a comment, share me on Facebook, bookmark me, add me to your reader, subscribe to this blog in the sidebar and/or follow me on Twitter.


“Mommy Who?” – If My Life Were a Sitcom

Not too long ago, there was a tiny bit of interest in turning my family’s story into a TV show.  I never pursued it very far, preferring to focus instead on finishing my memoir.

But as this fall season kicks in and the ads for new shows are everywhere, it’s hard not to wonder what it would be like if my life were among them, another cookie-cutter sitcom with a goosed-up laugh track.

I wrote this first as a series of tweets, each meant to be a quick blast of elbow-in-the-gut comedy suitable for a 30-second TV ad.  Taken together, they tell a sort of complete, very contrived story of the sitcom pilot someone might adapt from my life.

For the record, the blood pressure is real… but I’m still too stubborn to hire a nanny.

And speaking of Twitter, now’s a great time to FOLLOW ME.



Drew gets ready to leave for work in the morning.  The kids run around and play.  Jerry’s still in his pajamas.

Drew: “Can you believe we have two kids?”

Jerry: “I still can’t believe it’s not butter!”

[Cue: Big laughs]



Jerry plays with the twins in the sandbox.  A confused 5-year-old girl approaches.

Snotty Girl: Where’s your kids’ Mommy?

Jerry: She’s having lunch with the Tooth Fairy, Sweetie. Go climb a slide.

[Cue: Big laughs, applause]



Jerry pulls the kids away in their Radio Flyer wagon, waving goodbye to all the nannies.

Jerry: Adios, Rosa!  Adios, Rosanna!  Adios, Rosita!

Nannies (waving eagerly): Adios, Jerry!

Jerry (winking toward the kids): Chicks dig me.

[Cue: Big laughs, applause]



Jerry’s on the phone.  Bennett tugs at his leg.

Bennett: “Me want cookie!”

Jerry: “Yeah, well me want Anderson Cooper to come out already!”

[Cue: Laughter mixed with “OOOOOOH”s and one muffled “Oh no you di’i’n’t!”]



Jerry sits on an exam table, blood pressure cuff dangling from his arm.  Doctor looks stunned.

Doctor: “How did your blood pressure suddenly get so high?”

Jerry: “You’ve heard of the terrible twos?  I’ve got 4 of ’em!”

Jerry holds up his iPhone wallpaper of his 2-year-old twins.

[Cue: Explosions of laughter.]



Doctor: If your blood pressure was an SAT score, your heart could get into Harvard.

Jerry: Great, so now I have to pay for three educations?

[Cue: Explosions of laughter.]



Doctor: “I can’t let you walk out of my office with blood pressure that high.”

Jerry: “Can I saunter out?”

[Cue: Appreciative chuckle, one guy bellylaughs.]



Drew comes home from work to find Jerry passed out on the couch.  The kids draw on his face with crayons, laughing.

Drew: “That settles it.  We’re bringing in help.”

Jerry: “I’m not hiring a nanny!  The only one who’s going to neglect my kids is ME!”

[Bump into: promo for The Playboy Club]



Jerry eats mac & cheese from a teddy bear-shaped bowl with his friend Nick, while the kids run around screaming like maniacs in the background.

Nick: “What’s the big deal?  Just get a nanny.”

Jerry: “Great, then it looks like the gays caved in and hired a nanny to do what they couldn’t.  Two men can raise a kid without a woman’s help, thank you very much!”

Nick: “If that’s your issue, then get a manny.”

Jerry: “Pfft, male caregivers!”

[Cue: Explosions of laughter.]



Jerry answers the door for a nervous Latina lady.

Cecilia: “You… interview me… job?”

Jerry: “Oh, I’m not interviewing you. They are!”

Camera whips around to reveal Rosa, Rosanna & Rosita sitting on the couch, arms crossed, judgingly.


Jerry and Drew watch, baffled, as the nannies relentlessly berate Cecilia in Spanish.  She’s about to cry.

Jerry: “This is going well!”

[Cue: Applause]



Jerry shows off the kids’ room to their surrogate, Tiffany (Jennie Garth).

Jerry: “Kids, you remember your surrogate, right?  Aunt Tiffany?”

Tiffany: “I love what you’ve done with their room.”

Jerry: “Well, it’s not your uterus, but they seem to like it.”

[Cue: Shocked laughter – did they just go there?!?]



Tiffany: “Y’know, my mom would make a great nanny.”

Jerry: “Doesn’t your mom hate gays?”

Tiffany: “Well, yes, but she loves kids.”

[Cue: Laughs and applause]



Tiffany ushers in her mom, Bev (Doris Roberts), who has a disgusted look on her face.

Bev: “So which one of you do they call Mommy?”

Jerry: “Get out of our house, you shrew!”

Bev: “Must be you, huh? Meow!”

[Cue: Gasps, mixed with laughter]



Bennett picks up a doll lying on the ground.

Bev (to Bennett): “Put that down.  Dolls are for girls.  And your daddies.”

[Cue: Laughs]


Jerry: “Actually, we’re raising our children to be color and gender blind.”

Bev: “Well, excuse me, Martin Luther Queen!”

[Cue: African-American ladies laughing and applauding even louder than the rest of the crowd]



Jerry introduces Bev to the nannies at the park.

Jerry: “This is our new nanny, Bev.”

Rosa, Rosanna and Rosita simultaneously bow their heads and cross themselves.

Rosa (to the others): “Es el Diablo!”

All three nod, fearful.

[Cue: Moderate laughs; that one guy busts a gut again and repeats “Diablo!”]



Jerry enters, his every muscle aching.  Physical comedy ensues.  He throws a yoga mat in anger.  It lands six inches away from him.

Jerry: “Grrr!  I hate yoga!!!  So what did you guys do while I was relaxing?”

Sutton: “I went poop in the potty!”

Jerry: “No way!”

Bev (holding potty): “Take a whiff!”

[Cue: “Whoa!!!!!”  Cheers]



Drew consoles an enraged Jerry as Bev gathers her things to leave for the day.

Drew: “Remember, she’s here to keep you from having a heart attack.”

Just as Jerry calms down, Sutton runs up to Bev.

Sutton (to Bev): “I love you, Mommy!”

Jerry: “Oh, my heart!”

Jerry falls out of frame, clutching his chest.

[Cue: Laughter apocalypse, cheers]



Jerry and Drew lie in bed, nightlights on.

Jerry: “She’s rude, she’s pushy, she voted for Prop 8! She’s everything I despise!”

Drew: “Yes, but she did potty train our kids.”

[Cue: Laughs, African-American ladies saying, “Mmm-hmm!”]

Drew sighs: “Is anybody on Earth as lucky as us?”

Jerry: “Yeah.  Kim Kardashian and Leona Helmsley’s dog.”

Click.  Jerry shuts off the light.  Darkness.

Drew: “Wanna snuggle?”

Jerry: “Ow.  Yoga.”

[Cue: Wild applause, acceptance]