Happy Book Birthday to Me! The Buttheads Have Landed!

BUTTHEADS_final cover

Today is a huge day for me.

Those of you who’ve been reading this blog for a while might remember when it was my dream to get a book publilshed about my journey to parenthood. That book, “Mommy Man,” came out in 2014. Hooray! Bucket list check mark! So… then what?

Well, today, I’m celebrating the publication of my 6th (!) book. And I couldn’t have done it without all the support I got from my readers in the early days of this blog. You convinced me to follow my dream and my voice and to keep writing.

mrsr-cinderellaAs you probably know by now, I’ve shifted gears a bit and started writing kids’ books. My four-book series MY ROTTEN STEPBROTHER RUINED FAIRY TALES came out last year, and I’ve gotten some amazing feedback on it. 10-year-old Oscar at Kid Book Reviewer wrote, “Every time I finish reading a book in this series I keep thinking it is the best, funniest book in the world. I don’t know how Jerry Mahoney makes each book sooooo much funnier and amazing than the last.”

Reading a review like that is the best feeling in the world. It’s like my happily ever after.

lloydblank2_edited-2So I couldn’t be more excited to have a new book to share with you. This one, as I may have mentioned a thousand times before, is called BUTTHEADS FROM OUTER SPACE. It’s about two best friends, Josh and Lloyd, who try to persuade aliens to come visit them by writing an Earth travel blog. And it works! The problem is that the aliens who show up are total buttheads — literally. They have butts on their heads, and they talk in farts. They love Earth so much they invite 70 billion of their friends to come join them here. Uh-oh…

I’ve mentioned it’s a kids’ book, right?

lemoncelloOne of my favorite kids’ authors, Chris Grabenstein, who wrote the gazillion-selling, award-hoarding smash super-hit ESCAPE FROM MR. LEMONCELLO’S LIBRARY and dozens of other awesome books, even wrote me a blurb: “I laughed my butt off!”

It was crazy. I sent him an email through his website and told him about the book. He wrote back with his address, so I sent him a copy. Then, he wrote me that perfect blurb. (Side note: Please go buy all of Chris Grabenstein’s books. He’s a great writer and a swell guy.)

joshblank_edited-2There have been other great reviews, too, like these:

“Will cause giggle and snicker overload!” – Kirkus Reviews

“A strong bid for Captain Underpants grads!” – ALA Booklist

“A fun, wacky story that kids will love! A great book to hook reluctant readers!” – Erik, This Kid Reviews Books

“276 pages of blasting-dookies-who’s-the-weeniest-phasmic-wave-induced fun. Buttheads from Outer Space is expertly paced, comical, and full of heart!” – Joyce Audy Zarins, Writers Rumpus

I’ve decided not to do any chart twerk-type stunt with this book. If you’ve read my other books or even just a few of the posts on this blog, you know what you’re in for: cheap, lowbrow humor and shameless tugs at your heartstrings. Hey, I know my skill set.

I also know that tons of kids hate to read, but if a book has fart jokes in it and their parents think it’s gross and offensive, then they just might pick it up and check it out. Then, they’ll get all the booky goodness they’ve been missing by not reading, without even realizing they’re enriching themselves. (Suckers!)

Think of it like putting chocolate on top of a salad. Wait, am I the only one who does that?

So I hope you’ll check it out. Buy it for yourself. Buy it for a kid you know. Buy it for a teacher or a school library. If you want to buy it today-ish and help me get a boost on the charts, even better.

Here are some places you can find it. (Click on the links to go to the sales page.)




Thanks again to everyone reading this. This blog and all the support you gave it has made all the difference in giving me the writing career I’ve always wanted. I hope you (and/or your kids) will enjoy my new book.

And for those of you who come here to see pictures of my kids, here they are with their friend Duncan at my book release!IMG_0145

Fuller House Thinks My Family is Awesome

fullerhouse3SPOILER ALERT: I can’t believe I’m saying this, but if you’re concerned about spoilers for Season 3 of Fuller House, then you should hold off on reading this column until after you’ve watched it. Also, Soylent Green is made out of people! It’s people!

Back in 2012, I wrote a post called Modern Family Thinks My Family is Creepy, about a particularly disappointing episode of a show I love. In the episode, Claire, played by Julie Bowen, suggests that she could donate an egg for her brother, have it fertilized by his husband and have the embryo carried by a surrogate. Then, they all decide that this would make her “Aunt Mommy,” which they all find “creepy”. It stung because that’s exactly how my husband and I created our family. My sperm, his sister’s egg and a surrogate. Now we have twins, a boy and a girl who are 8 years old. Everybody’s happy, nobody’s “Aunt Mommy,” and none of us have anything but overwhelming gratitude for the way it all worked out.

“Modern Family” remains a wonderful show that’s progressive, honest and funny about, well, modern families, so I don’t hold a grudge. (In 2016, Jesse Tyler Ferguson even read my Modern Love essay, about how my family was created, for the Modern Love Podcast. Wuzzup, JTF?)

Now, I’m happy to report that another popular sitcom has tackled the issue of sisterly surrogacy (it’s been on two sitcoms, so as far as I’m concerned, it’s now officially a thing) in a much more open-minded way. And it’s that cutting-edge, ahead-of-its-time show known as Fuller House.

I know, right?

Well, kudos, Fuller House, for being bolder than most sitcoms would ever be, by taking on a complicated and potentially controversial topic in a straight-forward, family-positive way and getting it wonderfully right.


My sister-in-law/hero Susie, posing with her daughter and the four nieces and nephews who wouldn’t be here without her help

In the show, Stephanie (Jodie Sweetin), learns that she’s unable to carry a baby of her own, but that she does have a few viable eggs left. That leads her to consider surrogacy, which is when her sister D.J. (Candace Cameron), tells her there’s nothing she’d love more than to carry a baby for her and make her sister a mom. (And I should point out that after my amazing sister-in-law Susie provided eggs for my kids, she went on to become a surrogate — but not egg donor — for her other brother and his husband, twice. Yes, she’s really that awesome.)


Unfortunately, for medical and personal reasons, D.J. isn’t a good candidate to be a surrogate, but the fact that she wanted so badly to do it, and that the show treated this as nothing but the beautiful, loving gesture that it is, was so welcome and refreshing.

I’ve been watching Fuller House with my kids since it started. (Say what you will. It’s funny, it has a perfect sense of nostalgia, and it’s one of the few programs I can watch with my kids that we can all enjoy.) So it was a fabulous treat to watch with them as this plotline unfolded. It gave us so much to talk about, and it helped my kids appreciate the way our family was created even more than they already do. Everybody wants to see their lives reflected in popular culture, but I never dreamed my kids would see shows they could relate to like this.

As the story unfolded, (again, spoiler warning to my fellow Fuller Housers!) Steph’s one-time rival Kimmy Gibbler — practically a sister figure herself — stepped up to carry the baby. We’ll have to wait for Season Four to see how it all turns out, but this is a sitcom, so I’m guessing hilarious conflict, wacky shenanigans and ultimately, over-the-top sappiness will ensue. (Hey, I’m not crying. You’re crying!)


Another spoiler: by Season 6, this new baby will be covered in slime for some reason

The best part is, I’m not even worried about how the show will handle this going forward. Full House/Fuller House has always been a show about non-traditional families. (Hey, we only have two dads in our family — they had three!) While the surrogacy storyline was unfolding, they’ve also had a sweet running subplot about Jesse & Becky adopting, not to mention single mom DJ and whatever’s going on between Kimmy and Fernando.


That’s because (cue the sappy music)… from the very beginning, Full House has shown us that life doesn’t deal everyone the same hand, so you put together the best one you can. Ultimately, it’s not important whether your cards looks like everyone else’s, because it’s not pairs or straights that matter. It’s love that makes a full house.

Hey, I’m not crying! You’re crying!

* * * * *

If you like this post, please share it. And if you want to read more about non-traditional families going through wacky situations and somehow making it all work, why not check out my MY ROTTEN STEPBROTHER RUINED FAIRY TALES series from Capstone Publishing? They’re now available at your favorite bookstore or online retailer, and you can read all about them on my other site, www.jerrymahoneybooks.com. (I also recommend my book BUTTHEADS FROM OUTER SPACE, coming out in March 2018. No sappy messages. Just fart jokes galore!)


My Rotten Books: Now Available Everywhere!

I had a great time reading and signing the MY ROTTEN STEPBROTHER books at the Burbank, CA Barnes & Noble. Best of all, the store sold out of 3 of the 4 titles! (I left two autographed copies of MY ROTTEN STEPBROTHER RUINED ALADDIN behind, so if you hurry, they might still be there!)

Best of all, the book is now in stock at Amazon and lots of other bookstores, too! I apologize to everyone who had to wait for their copies, but now the waiting is over for everyone!

Check these handy dandy buttons to see if your favorite retailer has them in stock.




And if you’ve already read one or more of them, you can help spread the word by leaving a review at any of those places and/or at GoodReads.



I’m so excited to reveal the cover artwork for my next book, Buttheads From Outer Space! It’s the story of Lloyd and Josh, two sixth grade misfits who want nothing more than to meet aliens, and their wish comes true! The problem is, the aliens turn out to be total buttheads, in every sense. They talk in farts, they hog the XBox, they barf up Oreos everywhere. And now the guys can’t get them to leave. It’s outer space… in your face!

I’m pretty sure it’ll be heralded as the next great American novel.

It’ll be released in March 2018 from Sky Pony Press, and you can preorder it now at Amazon, Barnes & Noble or your favorite indie retailer! (And if it’s a bit too early for you, you can always mark it as “to-read” on Goodreads so you don’t forget about it.)

If you’re reading this the day I’m posting it, you may notice that none of those sites have the book cover image yet. But I do! And I’m showing it to my followers first, right here. Ready?

Here it is!

Buttheads From Outer Space cover

Coming March 2018!

This brilliance comes from illustrator Chris Garbutt. Yes, even our illustrator has “butt” in his name. It’s going to be that kind of book, everyone.

I can’t wait for you to read it!

In-Store Event This Saturday (8/19) in Burbank, CA!

IMG_5117There was such a great turnout on release day for my MY ROTTEN STEPBROTHER BOOKS release party at Anderson’s Book Shop that the store sold out of books! I understand Amazon has had trouble stocking and shipping the books as well, so my apologies to anyone who’s still waiting to get their hands on copies. But I have some good news for you…

If you live in Southern California, you can get any or all of the books this Saturday, August 19, 2017 from 2-4pm at the Barnes and Noble in Burbank! They’re fully stocked and ready to go, and I’ll be on hand to sign books, as well as to give out book cookies (a/k/a “bookies”), stickers, bookmarks and more!

It’s sure to be another fun day, so I hope to see you there!

It’s Twerk Time! Go go go!


Here you go! Your final, last minute reminder and nudge to take part in the My Rotten Stepbrother Release Extravaganza/Chart Twerk. If you’ve been waiting to buy your copies of one or more of these books, now’s the time.

Remember, the more people who buy at roughly this moment, the bigger the impact the books will make on their release day. So go to your favorite bookstore or online retailer or buy on Amazon to help me shoot up their sales charts.

Stop reading! Go go go!!!

Then, you know, start reading. The books are fun. You’re going to love them!

REMINDER: Tomorrow’s the Big Day, Twerkers!


That’s Maddie, the sweet stepsister at the heart of my MY ROTTEN STEPBROTHER books, and if she looks a bit miffed, it’s probably for one of two reasons. One, her rotten stepbrother Holden just broke another one of her favorite stories and now they have to go into the book to fix it. Or two, she’s annoyed because you forgot about tomorrow’s Rotten Release Day Chart Twerk!

As you may recall from when my memoir Mommy Man came out, this is when I shamelessly encourage everyone to buy my book at roughly the same time so that it’ll zoom up the charts and make people take notice.

So yes! You can help! Yes, you! Do you really want Maddie to make that face up there? Or would you rather see her stepbrother Holden make this face instead?


Well, to be honest, he makes that face every time Maddie gets annoyed, and we try not to encourage him, the little jerk.

But I’ll make that face if you go buy one or more of the books tomorrow. Then I’ll dance around and go “Wheee wheee wheee!” Then I’ll get tired and eat a cupcake.

If I haven’t convinced you yet, you can read more about the books here, but if you or anyone you know is 6-12 years old (or ever was), you’ll appreciate the snark and sweetness, not to mention the karate-chopping dwarfs. Then you’ll be the one with the smile on your face!

Mark your calendar, set your alarm or leave me a comment and I’ll email you when the time comes. Come on, you know you always wanted to twerk!

New Post on Scary Mommy Today!

My Rotten CookiesI’m so excited to be back on Scary Mommy. I have a new post up there today called It’s Time For Us To Embrace A New Kind of Fairy Tale. It’s all about what got me to write the My Rotten Stepbrother books, specifically the crummy examples most fairy tales set for girls. Check it out and let me know what you think!

And don’t forget… it’s just two days until the books come out and My Rotten Release Day Chart Twerk! Mark your calendars and order your copies at 12pm your local time, this Tuesday, August 1, 2017!

Finally, if you’re in the New York area, stop by my launch party at Anderson’s Book Shop in Larchmont on Tuesday, 8/1 at 6pm. There will be books, stickers, signings and adorable little cookies like the ones in the picture above. I’d love to see you there!

Announcing: My Rotten Release Day Chart Twerk!

blogbookhead_3If there’s one thing I’ll never fail to procrastinate about, it’s promoting my books. I mean, I worked really hard on them, I’m super proud of them, and I wrote them hoping lots of people would enjoy them. But taking that step to say, “Please buy them” just feels kind of, y’know, icky.

Promotion is the writers’ equivalent of a root canal, a tax audit, or sitting through a marathon of all 97 Transformers movies back to back. I would do just about anything short of colluding with Russia to get around it.

So I’ll make this quick.


Maddie – loves fairy tales, can’t stand her stepbrother

My books are coming out, and I think you’re going to love them. They’re fun, irreverent twists on four beloved fairy tales, with lots of humor and heart. They’re great for kids and fun for parents who like to read to kids. They answer questions like “What if the glass slipper fit one of the wicked stepsisters before Cinderella got a chance to try it on?”, “What if Belle wasn’t beautiful?” and “What if the seven dwarfs were kick-butt karate masters?” You can read more about them here.


Obviously, I’d love to see them sell a bunch of copies. Then, hopefully my publisher would order more books in the series and I’d get to spend even more time with these characters I’ve grown to love. So that’s my pitch.

Um… please buy them?

Since there are four books, you can take your pick! Cinderella, Beauty & the Beast, Aladdin, Snow White. Buy whichever one is your favorite fairy tale, and you’ll see how Maddie and Holden mess it up and then try to fix it. (If you want to read them in order, Cinderella is book 1, but reading them in order isn’t essential.) Check one out and see if you like it — or heck, just grab all four at once! That’s a great idea, too! (Ick.)


Have I convinced you?

Well, wait! Don’t do it yet!


Holden – can’t stand fairy tales, loves driving his stepsister nuts

Here’s the thing: if everyone who’s planning to buy one or more My Rotten Stepbrother books does so at roughly the same time, they’ll make a much bigger splash. They’ll rank higher and get more attention, which could lead to more people discovering them. I did this with my memoir Mommy Man, and it made a huge difference. Thanks to all you awesome readers and followers, that book went to #1 in its category, #2 on Amazon’s Movers & Shakers chart and #260 overall. (That’s right. It was in the top 300 of every single book on Amazon!)

So I’m asking you to do me a huge favor. If you’re going to buy one or more of the My Rotten Stepbrother books, please do it as close to 12pm on their release day, August 1st, as you can.

If Amazon is your preferred vendor, then do it there. But if you like to support brick and mortar stores or another online retailer, then please stick with them. Anyone who sells books in 2017 is OK by me. Or buy the eBook if that’s what you prefer. Those are great, too. FYI a fuller list of vendors and links to their My Rotten Stepbrother pages can be found here.

And of course, if you’re coming to one of my events, I’d love for you to wait and buy the book(s) in person so I can sign them and support the stores that are hosting me.

august1Tuesday, August 1, 2017. 12pm your time, wherever that is. Or as close as possible to then as you can manage.

Mark your calendar, follow my tweets or leave a comment below if you’d like to be reminded by email.

OK, thanks for listening to my shameless sales pitch. See, that wasn’t so painful after all. And I did it without any help from the Kremlin. Yay me.



My Surprising Father’s Day Gift


Unless you’re a straight white male or Bill Cosby, it’s been a pretty crummy year so far. Well, it’s not much, but for me, there’s been a small bright side, and it’s that card pictured above. It may not seem like a big deal to you, especially if you’re a straight white male. But that is the card I got my husband for Father’s Day this year, and it felt pretty awesome to do it.

Anyone who’s gay can relate to the challenge of finding greeting cards for special occasions. Whether it’s Valentine’s Day or anniversaries, there just aren’t a lot of options for us, at least not in the usual venues. Sure, there have long been some great out-of-the-way stores and underpromoted websites geared for folks like us, and I highly recommend giving them your business. But not everyone can trek to the gay part of town for a greeting card or wait to have a gift shipped to them.

As someone who’s LGBTQ, that leaves you with a few options: buy a blank card, make your own card, find a card so generic that it’s not gender-specific or buy a card that says “To my husband” and cross out all the references to “wife” and/or cartoons of the girl squirrel holding the boy squirrel’s hand (or vice-versa). (Special props to my brother-in-law, who bought two identical wedding cards when Drew and I tied the knot. He snipped out the grooms and put them both on the same card, to make a homemade gay wedding card.)

As hard as gay relationship cards are to find, gay parent cards are even more of a challenge. So when I went to Rite Aid to get a Father’s Day card for my husband Drew, I was planning to do some creative thinking, as usual, to turn a card for someone else into a card for us.

Then I saw something I hadn’t expected to see – a label in the Father’s Day section that said “Two Dads.” There was only one card there, and it wasn’t exactly what I wanted to say. (I would’ve gone with “the two luckiest guys” instead of “two of the luckiest.”) But it felt so good to be acknowledged.

In a Rite Aid.

With a card from American Greetings.

This was unthinkable when we started dating 14 years ago… and when our kids were born 7 years ago… and even when we got married 3 years ago. But there it was, with all the other cards, just no big deal. When I took it up to the register and bought it, the cashier said, “Happy Father’s Day,” and almost before those words were out of her mouth, she yelled, “Next!” and waved me away.

Sure, this one greeting card doesn’t do anything to help Muslims, women, African-Americans, Jews or any of the other people who’ve been having a tough time since this new administration took over (and since long before that), and it barely does anything for LGBTQ people. But for me, it was a reminder that you can’t stop progress, even in an otherwise rotten time for progress. And even while we’re fighting for our rights, there are appropriate moments to stop and reflect on how far we’ve come.

It may have been noteworthy to my husband and me, but of course, our kids had no idea why this greeting card was different from any other one.

And that’s probably the best part of all.

Happy Father’s Day to all the gay dads out there — and to you straight ones, too!

* * * * *

I know it’s been a while since I’ve posted, but that’s because I’ve been busy with my kids’ books! My series MY ROTTEN STEPBROTHER RUINED FAIRY TALES comes out August 1, 2017 from Capstone, and you can preorder them nowpreorder them now! Also, check out my new website for my middle grade and young adult writing, jerrymahoneybooks.com. [End of shameless plug.] 🙂