My Rotten Books: Now Available Everywhere!

I had a great time reading and signing the MY ROTTEN STEPBROTHER books at the Burbank, CA Barnes & Noble. Best of all, the store sold out of 3 of the 4 titles! (I left two autographed copies of MY ROTTEN STEPBROTHER RUINED ALADDIN behind, so if you hurry, they might still be there!)

Best of all, the book is now in stock at Amazon and lots of other bookstores, too! I apologize to everyone who had to wait for their copies, but now the waiting is over for everyone!

Check these handy dandy buttons to see if your favorite retailer has them in stock.

amazonlogo

bn

indiebound

And if you’ve already read one or more of them, you can help spread the word by leaving a review at any of those places and/or at GoodReads.

goodreads

Cover Reveal: BUTTHEADS FROM OUTER SPACE!

I’m so excited to reveal the cover artwork for my next book, Buttheads From Outer Space! It’s the story of Lloyd and Josh, two sixth grade misfits who want nothing more than to meet aliens, and their wish comes true! The problem is, the aliens turn out to be total buttheads, in every sense. They talk in farts, they hog the XBox, they barf up Oreos everywhere. And now the guys can’t get them to leave. It’s outer space… in your face!

I’m pretty sure it’ll be heralded as the next great American novel.

It’ll be released in March 2018 from Sky Pony Press, and you can preorder it now at Amazon, Barnes & Noble or your favorite indie retailer! (And if it’s a bit too early for you, you can always mark it as “to-read” on Goodreads so you don’t forget about it.)

If you’re reading this the day I’m posting it, you may notice that none of those sites have the book cover image yet. But I do! And I’m showing it to my followers first, right here. Ready?

Here it is!

Buttheads From Outer Space cover

Coming March 2018!

This brilliance comes from illustrator Chris Garbutt. Yes, even our illustrator has “butt” in his name. It’s going to be that kind of book, everyone.

I can’t wait for you to read it!

In-Store Event This Saturday (8/19) in Burbank, CA!

IMG_5117There was such a great turnout on release day for my MY ROTTEN STEPBROTHER BOOKS release party at Anderson’s Book Shop that the store sold out of books! I understand Amazon has had trouble stocking and shipping the books as well, so my apologies to anyone who’s still waiting to get their hands on copies. But I have some good news for you…

If you live in Southern California, you can get any or all of the books this Saturday, August 19, 2017 from 2-4pm at the Barnes and Noble in Burbank! They’re fully stocked and ready to go, and I’ll be on hand to sign books, as well as to give out book cookies (a/k/a “bookies”), stickers, bookmarks and more!

It’s sure to be another fun day, so I hope to see you there!

It’s Twerk Time! Go go go!

suttoninshirt

Here you go! Your final, last minute reminder and nudge to take part in the My Rotten Stepbrother Release Extravaganza/Chart Twerk. If you’ve been waiting to buy your copies of one or more of these books, now’s the time.

Remember, the more people who buy at roughly this moment, the bigger the impact the books will make on their release day. So go to your favorite bookstore or online retailer or buy on Amazon to help me shoot up their sales charts.

Stop reading! Go go go!!!

Then, you know, start reading. The books are fun. You’re going to love them!

REMINDER: Tomorrow’s the Big Day, Twerkers!

maddieonly

That’s Maddie, the sweet stepsister at the heart of my MY ROTTEN STEPBROTHER books, and if she looks a bit miffed, it’s probably for one of two reasons. One, her rotten stepbrother Holden just broke another one of her favorite stories and now they have to go into the book to fix it. Or two, she’s annoyed because you forgot about tomorrow’s Rotten Release Day Chart Twerk!

As you may recall from when my memoir Mommy Man came out, this is when I shamelessly encourage everyone to buy my book at roughly the same time so that it’ll zoom up the charts and make people take notice.

So yes! You can help! Yes, you! Do you really want Maddie to make that face up there? Or would you rather see her stepbrother Holden make this face instead?

holdenonly

Well, to be honest, he makes that face every time Maddie gets annoyed, and we try not to encourage him, the little jerk.

But I’ll make that face if you go buy one or more of the books tomorrow. Then I’ll dance around and go “Wheee wheee wheee!” Then I’ll get tired and eat a cupcake.

If I haven’t convinced you yet, you can read more about the books here, but if you or anyone you know is 6-12 years old (or ever was), you’ll appreciate the snark and sweetness, not to mention the karate-chopping dwarfs. Then you’ll be the one with the smile on your face!

Mark your calendar, set your alarm or leave me a comment and I’ll email you when the time comes. Come on, you know you always wanted to twerk!

New Post on Scary Mommy Today!

My Rotten CookiesI’m so excited to be back on Scary Mommy. I have a new post up there today called It’s Time For Us To Embrace A New Kind of Fairy Tale. It’s all about what got me to write the My Rotten Stepbrother books, specifically the crummy examples most fairy tales set for girls. Check it out and let me know what you think!

And don’t forget… it’s just two days until the books come out and My Rotten Release Day Chart Twerk! Mark your calendars and order your copies at 12pm your local time, this Tuesday, August 1, 2017!

Finally, if you’re in the New York area, stop by my launch party at Anderson’s Book Shop in Larchmont on Tuesday, 8/1 at 6pm. There will be books, stickers, signings and adorable little cookies like the ones in the picture above. I’d love to see you there!

Announcing: My Rotten Release Day Chart Twerk!

blogbookhead_3If there’s one thing I’ll never fail to procrastinate about, it’s promoting my books. I mean, I worked really hard on them, I’m super proud of them, and I wrote them hoping lots of people would enjoy them. But taking that step to say, “Please buy them” just feels kind of, y’know, icky.

Promotion is the writers’ equivalent of a root canal, a tax audit, or sitting through a marathon of all 97 Transformers movies back to back. I would do just about anything short of colluding with Russia to get around it.

So I’ll make this quick.

maddieonly

Maddie – loves fairy tales, can’t stand her stepbrother

My books are coming out, and I think you’re going to love them. They’re fun, irreverent twists on four beloved fairy tales, with lots of humor and heart. They’re great for kids and fun for parents who like to read to kids. They answer questions like “What if the glass slipper fit one of the wicked stepsisters before Cinderella got a chance to try it on?”, “What if Belle wasn’t beautiful?” and “What if the seven dwarfs were kick-butt karate masters?” You can read more about them here.

 

Obviously, I’d love to see them sell a bunch of copies. Then, hopefully my publisher would order more books in the series and I’d get to spend even more time with these characters I’ve grown to love. So that’s my pitch.

Um… please buy them?

Since there are four books, you can take your pick! Cinderella, Beauty & the Beast, Aladdin, Snow White. Buy whichever one is your favorite fairy tale, and you’ll see how Maddie and Holden mess it up and then try to fix it. (If you want to read them in order, Cinderella is book 1, but reading them in order isn’t essential.) Check one out and see if you like it — or heck, just grab all four at once! That’s a great idea, too! (Ick.)

 

Have I convinced you?

Well, wait! Don’t do it yet!

holdenonly

Holden – can’t stand fairy tales, loves driving his stepsister nuts

Here’s the thing: if everyone who’s planning to buy one or more My Rotten Stepbrother books does so at roughly the same time, they’ll make a much bigger splash. They’ll rank higher and get more attention, which could lead to more people discovering them. I did this with my memoir Mommy Man, and it made a huge difference. Thanks to all you awesome readers and followers, that book went to #1 in its category, #2 on Amazon’s Movers & Shakers chart and #260 overall. (That’s right. It was in the top 300 of every single book on Amazon!)

So I’m asking you to do me a huge favor. If you’re going to buy one or more of the My Rotten Stepbrother books, please do it as close to 12pm on their release day, August 1st, as you can.

If Amazon is your preferred vendor, then do it there. But if you like to support brick and mortar stores or another online retailer, then please stick with them. Anyone who sells books in 2017 is OK by me. Or buy the eBook if that’s what you prefer. Those are great, too. FYI a fuller list of vendors and links to their My Rotten Stepbrother pages can be found here.

And of course, if you’re coming to one of my events, I’d love for you to wait and buy the book(s) in person so I can sign them and support the stores that are hosting me.

august1Tuesday, August 1, 2017. 12pm your time, wherever that is. Or as close as possible to then as you can manage.

Mark your calendar, follow my tweets or leave a comment below if you’d like to be reminded by email.

OK, thanks for listening to my shameless sales pitch. See, that wasn’t so painful after all. And I did it without any help from the Kremlin. Yay me.

(Ick.)

 

My Surprising Father’s Day Gift

gaydadcard.JPG

Unless you’re a straight white male or Bill Cosby, it’s been a pretty crummy year so far. Well, it’s not much, but for me, there’s been a small bright side, and it’s that card pictured above. It may not seem like a big deal to you, especially if you’re a straight white male. But that is the card I got my husband for Father’s Day this year, and it felt pretty awesome to do it.

Anyone who’s gay can relate to the challenge of finding greeting cards for special occasions. Whether it’s Valentine’s Day or anniversaries, there just aren’t a lot of options for us, at least not in the usual venues. Sure, there have long been some great out-of-the-way stores and underpromoted websites geared for folks like us, and I highly recommend giving them your business. But not everyone can trek to the gay part of town for a greeting card or wait to have a gift shipped to them.

As someone who’s LGBTQ, that leaves you with a few options: buy a blank card, make your own card, find a card so generic that it’s not gender-specific or buy a card that says “To my husband” and cross out all the references to “wife” and/or cartoons of the girl squirrel holding the boy squirrel’s hand (or vice-versa). (Special props to my brother-in-law, who bought two identical wedding cards when Drew and I tied the knot. He snipped out the grooms and put them both on the same card, to make a homemade gay wedding card.)

As hard as gay relationship cards are to find, gay parent cards are even more of a challenge. So when I went to Rite Aid to get a Father’s Day card for my husband Drew, I was planning to do some creative thinking, as usual, to turn a card for someone else into a card for us.

Then I saw something I hadn’t expected to see – a label in the Father’s Day section that said “Two Dads.” There was only one card there, and it wasn’t exactly what I wanted to say. (I would’ve gone with “the two luckiest guys” instead of “two of the luckiest.”) But it felt so good to be acknowledged.

In a Rite Aid.

With a card from American Greetings.

This was unthinkable when we started dating 14 years ago… and when our kids were born 7 years ago… and even when we got married 3 years ago. But there it was, with all the other cards, just no big deal. When I took it up to the register and bought it, the cashier said, “Happy Father’s Day,” and almost before those words were out of her mouth, she yelled, “Next!” and waved me away.

Sure, this one greeting card doesn’t do anything to help Muslims, women, African-Americans, Jews or any of the other people who’ve been having a tough time since this new administration took over (and since long before that), and it barely does anything for LGBTQ people. But for me, it was a reminder that you can’t stop progress, even in an otherwise rotten time for progress. And even while we’re fighting for our rights, there are appropriate moments to stop and reflect on how far we’ve come.

It may have been noteworthy to my husband and me, but of course, our kids had no idea why this greeting card was different from any other one.

And that’s probably the best part of all.

Happy Father’s Day to all the gay dads out there — and to you straight ones, too!

* * * * *

I know it’s been a while since I’ve posted, but that’s because I’ve been busy with my kids’ books! My series MY ROTTEN STEPBROTHER RUINED FAIRY TALES comes out August 1, 2017 from Capstone, and you can preorder them nowpreorder them now! Also, check out my new website for my middle grade and young adult writing, jerrymahoneybooks.com. [End of shameless plug.] 🙂

New book deal! New website!

buttheads-suttonart

That incredibly crude picture isn’t just to highlight my juvenile sense of humor. It’s also an announcement for my new kids book! In addition to the Rotten Stepbrother books, which will be published August 1, 2017 (so soon!), I’m happy to announce another middle grade novel in the pipeline, BUTTHEADS FROM OUTER SPACE!

(I’m very grateful to my 7-year-old daughter Sutton for the suggested artwork above. I imagine the publisher may ultimately go a different way, but I have to say, the kid gets me.)

The book is about two sixth-grade boys, Josh and Lloyd, who want to hang out with some fun aliens — and maybe enlist their help getting revenge on their rival Quentin. But their plan to show some E.T.s what a cool planet Earth is works too well, and soon the buttheads want to take over the planet. Oops. Now the boys are going to need to work with Quentin to stop them, or Earth is doomed!

Do you like fart jokes? Have you ever read the great classics of American literature — say perhaps “The Grapes of Wrath” or “For Whom the Bell Tolls” — and thought, “Not bad, but it could’ve used more fart jokes”? Well, good news. This book is for you!

The bad news is you’ll have to wait until Spring 2018 for this one to be published, by the fine, twisted minds at Sky Pony Press.

In the meantime, I hope you’ll check out my new website. Yes, a whole new website! For me! I figured it was a good idea to have a site just for my kids’ writing, which I could keep free of adult topics and swear words. (Fart jokes are totes a go, though!)

Even better, follow me on my new Facebook site for my middle grade writing. That’s probably the best way to keep in touch with me, since there’s no subscription option on the new writing site. (Apparently, when grown-ups collect emails from kids, it’s “creepy.”)

I may still post here on Mommy Man from time to time, but as you’ve probably guessed, kidlit is what takes up most of my time lately. It’s awesome writing books my kids can enjoy, especially when it gives me the chance to warp their minds directly, rather than letting Jeff Kinney and Dav Pilkey have all the fun.

* * * * *

The Rotten Stepbrother books are available for pre-order! I’ll probably arrange a chart twerk as it gets closer to the publication date, but if you can’t wait and you want to pre-order now, I won’t stop you!

Let’s Move “T” to the Front of LGBTQ

tlgbqIt’s pretty obvious that trans people need our help these days, so I suggest we update our acronym to TLGBQ as a show of support.

When I was in college in the early 90’s, I was still a few years away from coming out as gay, but I did notice when the campus’ main gay organization changed its name from the GLA (Gay & Lesbian Association) to the LGBC (Lesbian Gay Bisexual Coalition). They felt like the group was becoming too exclusive, and they wanted to make lesbians and bisexuals feel more welcome.

It was the right idea, but looking back now, it’s glaring that even in the reshuffling, the letter “T” didn’t find its way in there at the time. It’s only recently that T has become a permanent fixture of LGBTQ. I won’t go into the debate about whether transgender rights should be considered part of gay rights. As far as I’m concerned, it’s settled. They should be, and they are, and if you disagree, you can go form your own movement, because there’s no room for transphobia in mine.

Let’s remember who fought back at Stonewall. Some of the most prominent protesters were transgender women like Marsha P. Johnson and Sylvia Rivera. The L’s, G’s and B’s of that period in history, in most cases, were happy to blend in or live in the shadows or the closet. Trans people, on the other hand, refused to or couldn’t fit in, and at some point, they’d had it with being abused and marginalized. As far as I’m concerned, we’re lucky they let us join their movement.

And what have us cisgender LGBQ’s done to thank them and show them our support? Well, at some point, we tacked a “T” onto our acronym and started including them in our nondiscrimination laws.

It’s not enough.

Especially today, when trans rights are under attack, we need to do everything we can to let transgender people know we have their backs and we’re going to fight for them the way they’ve always fought for us.

It’s disgusting that Donald Trump has taken away protections for trans students. There’s no question what this shameful move will do to trans kids across the country:

It will kill them.

It will drive more trans students toward suicide suicide and embolden bullies to attack them even more than they already do. We’ve seen how the anti-Semitism in Trump’s administration has led to a rise in anti-Semitic harassment (which Trump refuses to adequately condemn).

The same goes for Muslims and immigrants, who this administration has come after as well. There’s no doubt that an increase in transphobic attacks is on the horizon.

And then which group is next?

Would any of us be surprised if it’s the rest of the LGBTQ community?

Still, it’s clear which members of our community they’ve chosen to attack first, who they consider the most vulnerable and the easiest to defeat. Let’s not give them any impression that trans rights are in any way an afterthought to our movement. Let’s put our trans allies right up front.

TLGBQ

Sure, the people who already make fun of our cumbersome acronym will have a field day.

Let them.

They’ll do all the publicity for us, and we can focus on calling our representatives to support TLGBQ rights and fighting the government in court.

TLGBQ

Start using it now.

Do it to thank the trans community for giving birth to the movement.

Do it because they need our support.

Do it to show the bullies in our government that if they want to come for trans rights, they’re going to have to go through all of us, and we’re going to stand together and fight like Hell.